{"id":198,"date":"2023-07-15T23:37:04","date_gmt":"2023-07-15T23:37:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=198"},"modified":"2026-02-28T21:32:02","modified_gmt":"2026-02-28T21:32:02","slug":"life-in-canada-chapter-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=198","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 11           Bullied"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"695\" src=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/68-69-1-1024x695.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5623\" style=\"aspect-ratio:1.4734111543450066;width:590px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/68-69-1-1024x695.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/68-69-1-300x204.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/68-69-1-768x521.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/68-69-1-1536x1042.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/68-69-1-2048x1390.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em>First Grade. I am in front, in the blue dress, third person from the right.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Second Grade-1969<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you go to school in Denmark, you are with the same students until you finish. There was a boy in my class named Tony. By the time we started second grade, he had become a terrible bully. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"706\" src=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/am-skole-1024x706.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5703\" style=\"aspect-ratio:1.4504596527068436;width:619px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/am-skole-1024x706.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/am-skole-300x207.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/am-skole-768x530.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/am-skole-1536x1059.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/am-skole-2048x1413.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em>Second Grade. I am in front wearing all red. Tony is the boy in the middle row, third person from the left with curly hair. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One day during recess, he kept bothering my friend and me. I told Tony to leave us alone, but that only made things worse. Tony started pushing me and asked, &#8220;What are you going to do about it?\u201d Even though Tony was a lot bigger than I was, I wasn\u2019t intimidated by him. After all, I was used to being hit by Sander. Before I knew it, we were in a full fistfight, and I wasn\u2019t about to back down!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tony seemed surprised that I was willing to stand up to him, since the other kids usually backed down. Suddenly, he ran off as fast as he could. When class was about to start again, Tony wasn&#8217;t there.<br><br>I heard my name over the intercom, and I was told to go to the office immediately. As I walked down the hall, I saw Sander. He said to me, \u201cI heard you are being called to the principal&#8217;s office. What\u2019s going on?\u201d I told him about the fight and asked him to call Mom and tell her to hurry and come to the school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I entered the office, Tony, his mother, and the principal were waiting for me. Tony&#8217;s mother looked upset. Both she and the principal scolded me. I tried to explain my side of the story, but it was apparent no one was listening. Mom finally showed up after it was all done, and I was heading back to my class.<br><br>When I got home, I told Mom what really happened. To my relief, she believed me when I told her that I didn\u2019t start the fight. Just then, the doorbell rang. Mom opened the door. It was Tony&#8217;s mom. Tony&#8217;s mom held up Tony\u2019s coat and said, \u201cYour daughter has ripped my son\u2019s coat, and now you need to give me money so I can buy a new one!\u201d Mom shut the door and then looked at me and said, \u201cThere\u2019s no way I\u2019m going to give her any money for a new coat!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A few days later, while Grandma was taking care of me, Tony&#8217;s mom came again. Grandma opened the door. I could hear Tony&#8217;s mom telling Grandma that she wanted money for a new coat. At first, Grandma was polite and tried to tell Tony&#8217;s mom what had really happened.<br><br>Tony&#8217;s mom got furious! Then Grandma told her she needed to teach her son not to bully other kids and to be nice to them. Then Tony&#8217;s mom said she was going to take Mom to court and sue her. <br><br>Grandma got angry and told her that if she took Mom to court, she wouldn\u2019t win because the judge would be able to see that her son was a brat. Then, Grandma slammed the door. I was glad Grandma stood up for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At school, everyone in our class was excited that I had stood up to Tony. After that, no one wanted to have anything to do with him. None of the kids in our class would sit next to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I told the kids it was a good thing they stayed away from him because he had boogers and was full of germs. That made my classmate dislike him even more. <br><br>One day, Tony didn\u2019t come to school. Our teacher told us we needed to be kind to Tony. He had stopped coming because none of us wanted to be around him. We all had to promise the teacher that we would be nice to him. <br><br>When Tony came back, he brought candy for everyone in class. At first, no one took any because we were afraid of his germs. It took a while, but eventually, we started hanging out with him again. Tony never bullied anyone again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"731\" src=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/b8eeb58b-7a57-41f3-84e6-98a06579d675-1024x731.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5502\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/b8eeb58b-7a57-41f3-84e6-98a06579d675-1024x731.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/b8eeb58b-7a57-41f3-84e6-98a06579d675-300x214.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/b8eeb58b-7a57-41f3-84e6-98a06579d675-768x548.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/b8eeb58b-7a57-41f3-84e6-98a06579d675.jpg 1361w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">I enjoyed school and loved browsing through the books the teacher gave us. One day, everything changed. My teacher asked Mom to come in for a meeting, and I was to come too. The teacher told Mom I was one of two students in the class falling behind. The teacher asked Mom to have me practice reading to her so that I could catch up with the rest of the class. Mom told the teacher she would work with me. I was devastated to learn I was one of the worst students in the class. I thought to myself, Mom and Sander were right about me being stupid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That evening, Mom had me practice reading from my schoolbook. The next day, the teacher called on me to read aloud in class. Because I had practiced the night before, I was able to read smoothly. When class ended, the teacher said she could tell I had been practicing and encouraged me to keep up the good work. That evening, I asked Mom to practice with me again. Mom got annoyed and sternly told me that right now wasn&#8217;t a good time. Mom never had me practice reading with her again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Later, when I needed Mom\u2019s help with my homework, Mom got upset with me and started to yell. As if her yelling would help me understand the homework I needed to do.<br><br>After that, I never asked her for help again. I decided to accept the fact that I was too stupid to learn anything. I started to dread school. From then on, I sat at the back of the class and daydreamed. I figured, what was the use of trying since I was too dumb to learn anything anyway? I couldn\u2019t wait for school to be over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I was in first and second grade, we went to school on Saturdays. Saturday was a fun day to be at school. We only stayed for two hours, and there were no lessons. It was a day we were allowed to bring toys. While we were there, we drew pictures and played games as the teacher read stories to us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I started third grade, we were told there would be no school on Saturdays. Since I didn\u2019t like school, Saturday was the only day I enjoyed going. I was relieved to find out that we would still have field trips!<br><br><strong>The Play<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our class was putting on a play for our parents. The teacher asked us to choose the role in the play we each wanted. I quickly raised my hand and said, \u201cI want to be the princess.\u201d The teacher told me the princess had to have long hair. My heart sank! It was a reminder to me that my hair had been cut off, and it was not allowed to grow back. I ended up being a male butler in the play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All the students were asked to provide their own costumes. I told Mom about the play and that I needed an outfit, but she didn&#8217;t care. Some of the other students had neat costumes that their mothers had made for them. I felt bad realizing I had to come up with my own costume. I asked Sander if I could borrow his jacket, and he didn\u2019t seem to mind. <br><br>The next day, the teacher asked me if I had come up with something to wear. I told her I could borrow my brother\u2019s jacket. The teacher said she would lend me a hat, and then asked me to come up with a silver cane. \u201cWhere was I going to get a silver cane?\u201d <br><br>When I got home from school, I thought I would try to make one out of foil wrap. When I was done, I thought I had done a pretty good job. I couldn&#8217;t wait to show my teacher. When Mom came home from work and saw the cane, she was furious that I had used her foil. She yelled at me and told me never to waste her foil wrap again. I was beginning to dread the play more and more.<br><br>At school, we were asked to draw the play&#8217;s background. When the teacher saw my drawings, she liked them so much that she asked me to do all the drawings. I was so excited to know that, for once, I could do something right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I couldn\u2019t wait for Mom and Sander to come to the play and see what I had drawn. I was sure they would be so proud of me. All the kids were excited to perform in the play, and because of my artwork, I finally began to share their excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it was time for the play, Mom told me she couldn\u2019t go because she was going with Bent the next day to visit his parents in Skive. Mom said she still had to pack and had arranged for Grandma Helfred to take me to the play. Mom had Sander stand at the corner so Dad could pick him up. Dad didn\u2019t know about the play, so he never came. As usual, Mom told him that I didn\u2019t want to spend the weekend with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That evening, Grandma walked with me to school. When we arrived, I noticed that all the other kids were accompanied by both their parents and all their siblings. As I stood with my classmates, I felt so out of place, and I just wanted to go back home. I was grateful that Grandma was there, so I wasn\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After the play, food and drinks were available for sale. Grandma didn\u2019t know this, so she had not brought any money. We stood there watching everyone eat. The teacher felt bad for me, so she said, \u201cLet\u2019s have a contest to see who can rip a paper into the longest strip, and whoever wins will get some free food.\u201d I tried my best to rip the paper into the longest strip, but the boy next to me won. He got a free pop.  I felt even worse because his parents had already bought him one. It didn\u2019t seem like much fun to stay and watch the rest of the people eat and drink, so I told Grandma I was ready to go home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At home, I saw that Mom\u2019s suitcase was packed, sitting in the living room, ready to go. I was sad to think I would be missing out on another weekend with Dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The next day was Saturday. As mom was about to leave, I noticed she didn\u2019t have time to eat. I was worried she would get hungry, so I grabbed a banana and an apple. Grandma and I went with Mom to the train station to see her off. When Mom boarded the train, I handed her the fruit. Mom asked why I had given her food. I told her I was worried she would get hungry. She broke into tears. Just then, the train whistle blew. Grandma and I waved to Mom. The doors shut, and Mom was off to Skive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sander Almost Lost His Leg<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sander got into a fist fight with a boy at school. The boy kicked Sander on his shin. The kick punctured the skin, and his leg became infected. A few days later, we had a week off from school for fall break. Sander, Mom, and I were invited to come with Mom\u2019s Aunt Mabel, her husband, Uncle Orla, and their grandson, Patrick, to their summer home in Lolland. While we were there, Sander\u2019s infected leg grew worse. Sander cried and said it hurt. Mom talked to Uncle Orla about&nbsp;whether or not&nbsp;she should take Sander to the doctor.\u202f Uncle Orla told Sander to straighten up and take the pain like a man and assured him his leg would soon heal.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>When we got back home, Sander could hardly walk since his leg was so infected. Mom finally took Sander to the doctor. When the doctor saw Sander\u2019s leg, he told Mom to go straight to the hospital. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When they got to the hospital, the doctor was baffled that&nbsp;Mom&nbsp;had waited so long to get help&nbsp;for&nbsp;him. The doctor told Mom he hoped he could save his leg. The infection had gone into the bone. The doctor had to&nbsp;operate. He cut out part of the bone and implanted a stainless-steel plate into his leg to try save his leg.&nbsp;The doctor said he wasn&#8217;t sure if the steel plate would work, and only time would tell. <br>&nbsp;<br>Sander had to stay in the hospital for the next three months. He used a wheelchair to get around. At the hospital, there was a designated time for visiting hours. Since Sander was so lonely, the doctor allowed me to see him whenever I wanted. The hospital was conveniently&nbsp;located&nbsp;near our&nbsp;home. I felt sorry for Sander.\u202fTherefore,\u202fevery day, as soon as school was out, I&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;go to&nbsp;the Part-Time Home. Instead, I would take my bike to the hospital and then spend the rest of the evening with Sander. Sometimes Sander\u2019s friend, Lars, would come too. We would play games or wheel Sander to the top floor and look out at the view of our town.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>Sander would cry when Mom came to visit him. He told her that he hated it at the hospital and begged Mom to take him home, even if it were just for one night. The doctor said no because they were&nbsp;afraid&nbsp;he would lose his leg, and they&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;want to risk it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One Saturday, while Mom and I&nbsp;were visiting Sander at the hospital, Dad showed up with Henny. It was&nbsp;an uncomfortable&nbsp;situation. When we got home, Mom was upset that&nbsp;Dad&nbsp;had been there and that he had brought his girlfriend. Mom ranted, on and on, about how ugly Henny was.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>When Sander was finally released from the hospital, he had to use crutches for a long time to get around.\u202fAs Sander improved, he seemed to forget that I had come to visit him in the hospital. I had hoped that my visits with him would bring us closer, but that was not to be. It&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;take long for him to run after me and start hurting me again.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Part-Time Home Meeting<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sander and I attended a meeting at the after-school center.\u202f The parents and children all came. During the meeting, most of us kids played in the background.&nbsp;All of a sudden, I could hear the&nbsp;grown-ups yelling at each other. I stopped to listen, hoping to find out what was going on. The teachers told the parents there would be no camp this coming fall. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many parents were upset by the news. One of the parents shouted, \u201cWhat are we to do with our kids while school is off for fall break?\u201d One of the workers suggested, \u201cYou all get a vacation from your work, take this time off, and be with your kids.\u201d Mom got mad and started yelling, \u201cWell, what about us single parents who already have made plans to go elsewhere during this time?\u201d The worker responded, \u201cTry spending this time with your kids.\u201d The meeting got louder with many heated exchanges. Mom was yelling the loudest. She was so disrespectful towards the caretakers.\u202f I was embarrassed!\u202f\u202fThe meeting ended with one of the caretakers announcing that they would take us on a camping trip during the fall break.&nbsp;<br><br><strong>Fall Camp, 1969<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We set off for our week-long camp. At the campsite, there were numerous&nbsp;small&nbsp;cabins. We were divided into small groups. There were three girls in my group, my friends, Mai-Britt, Solvang, and me. We had a male leader who stayed with us in our cabin. He was a super nice guy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Each group was to make its own dinner in its cabin each night.\u202fOur leader asked us, girls, what we liked to eat. I told him my favorite food was mashed potatoes. The four of us went grocery shopping at a nearby store. We bought the food we&#8217;d eat for the week. The leader also bought lots of potatoes. When we got back to our&nbsp;cabin,&nbsp;he taught us how to make mashed potatoes.&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;<br>During the day, there were no plans, and our leader said he would be back in the evening.\u202f\u202fThen he took off, leaving us to watch ourselves. We played ball and went berry-picking. Wild berries grow everywhere in Denmark. When it was time to eat dinner, we made mashed potatoes. I thought it was&nbsp;strange&nbsp;he left us and only came back when it was time for bed. I was grateful for the time he took to teach us how to cook.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Looking&nbsp;back,&nbsp;I am surprised that a male leader stayed in the cabin with us girls. I am&nbsp;very grateful&nbsp;that he was a nice guy. We had&nbsp;fun even though we were left to ourselves during the day. The leaders tried to tell our parents they&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;want to&nbsp;go&nbsp;on a campout&nbsp;with us this fall, and&nbsp;I guess they&nbsp;weren\u2019t&nbsp;kidding.&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Back From Camp<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">When we arrived home, Mom told Sander and me that she was going to Canada to visit Bent. Of course, Sander got to stay with Dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">Dad took time off from work. I wanted to go too, but I already knew the answer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">I still asked if I could go with Dad. Mom told me she had already made arrangements with Mai-Britt\u2019s mom and that I would be staying with them. I liked Mai-Britt a lot, and we had fun together. But I would rather go with Dad, so I asked one more time. Mom told me it was better for me to go with Mai-Britt, and there was no point in discussing it further.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mom dropped me off at Mai-Britt\u2019s house, and then she was off to Canada. The following week, both Mai-Britt\u2019s parents had to work.\u202fMai-Britt, her younger brother, and I had to go with Mai-Britt\u2019s Dad to work. He worked in a field building&nbsp;houses. There was nothing for us kids to do.\u202fWe tried to play games and entertain ourselves, but the sun was&nbsp;hot,&nbsp;so we mostly sat in the dirt, waiting for her dad to get off work.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One evening, Mai-Britt\u2019s parents got into a terrible&nbsp;fight. I thought her dad was going to hit her mom.\u202fI was frightened and felt sick to my stomach.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mai-Britt\u2019s mom motioned to Mai-Britt, her brother, and me to get our shoes and coats. Then we tiptoed out the door while the dad was in the other room.\u202fWe asked Mai-Britt\u2019s Mom where we were going.\u202fShe told us we were going to an amusement park called Bakken. It was fall, therefore, it was dark and cold outside. Going to an amusement park&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;seem like such&nbsp;a good idea&nbsp;to me.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">We took the bus and train to get to the park.\u202fWhen we got there, Mai-Britt\u2019s mom bought us tickets so we could go on lots of rides.\u202fThe first ride we chose went around and around.\u202fI thought I was going to fly out of my seat. I hung on for dear life! I&nbsp;don\u2019t&nbsp;think I&nbsp;have&nbsp;ever been so terrified before in my life.\u202fWhen we got off the ride, I felt dizzy and sick.\u202fMai-Britt and her brother were both fine.\u202fI felt bad and wanted to pretend I was fine, but I was too ill to walk.\u202fWe sat on a bench nearby so I could feel better.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mai-Britt\u2019s mom said, \u201cMaybe an ice cream will help you recover.\u201d\u202fI politely said, \u201cNo, thank you.\u201d\u202f\u202fMai-Britt\u2019s mom insisted, and then she went and bought us all a huge&nbsp;waffle ice cream. Normally, I would have loved one, but I felt too sick to even look at it.\u202f\u202fI&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;want to hurt her&nbsp;feelings,&nbsp;so I started to eat it.\u202fThe smell and taste of it made me throw up.\u202fI knew Mai-Britt\u2019s mom had spent a lot of money on ice cream and the amusement park.\u202fI wanted to pretend I felt better, but it was no use.\u202fI needed to get home so I could lie down.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we got home, we found that Mai-Britt\u2019s father was drunk and asleep.\u202fI was relieved because, all the way home, I had worried they would start fighting again.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since I had to go with Mai-Britt\u2019s dad to work every&nbsp;day,&nbsp;I was so happy when it was time to go back home. Sander&nbsp;couldn\u2019t&nbsp;wait to tell me about all the fun things he had done with Dad and Henny this past week.\u202fI really&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;want to hear about it because it hurt so&nbsp;bad.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>My Guinea Pig, October 1969<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sander had a pet&nbsp;hamster.\u202fI wanted a pet too, but Mom said, \u201cAbsolutely not.\u201d\u202fKim, a boy in our ward, asked me if I wanted a guinea pig.\u202fI asked Mom if I could have it.\u202fShe told me I could, only if I kept it at the Part-Time Home.\u202fWe were allowed to have pets,&nbsp;such as guinea pigs, rabbits, and hamsters, at the Part-Time Home.\u202fI asked one of the workers if I could bring a guinea pig.\u202fI was&nbsp;told&nbsp;that as long as&nbsp;I brought food and took care of the pet, it could stay there.\u202fI was excited when the worker said I could bring it, but in the back of my mind, I was irritated that Sander got to keep his pet at home. I tried to tell Mom that I thought it was unfair, but it&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;do any good.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I called Kim to tell him I could have the guinea pig.\u202fHe told me he would bring it over later.\u202fThat evening, Mom was going out with some friends from work.\u202fWe had a rule: when we were home alone,&nbsp;we were&nbsp;never&nbsp;to open&nbsp;the door.\u202fI got special permission.\u202fMom said we had to make sure to open the door only for Kim and his mom.\u202fSince we hated being left home alone, we were anxious for Kim and his mom to come.\u202fSander and I sat by the door as we waited.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We looked through the peephole every time we heard a noise, hoping it was them.\u202fFinally, the doorbell rang. We both jumped. We made sure to look through the peephole again. We could see Kim and his mom standing there&nbsp;with&nbsp;the cage.\u202fWe were so excited to let them in. Unfortunately, they&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;stay long. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again. We made sure to look through the peephole. Kim had returned because he had forgotten to give us the food for the guinea pig.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Moments&nbsp;later,&nbsp;the doorbell rang again. This time, Sander and I forgot to check the peephole.\u202fWe just assumed it was Kim.\u202fWe opened the door.\u202fIt was Bent standing there with his suitcase.\u202fBoth Sander and I were happy to see it was him. Not only had he come to surprise us from Canada, but we&nbsp;wouldn\u2019t&nbsp;be home by ourselves. Bent gave us both a package of Canadian gum.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mom was excited to see Bent. She asked him why he had not told her he was coming.\u202fHe said it was because he wanted to surprise her.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Days Spent with My New Pet<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I looked forward to seeing my guinea pig each day. When I got to the Part-Time\u00a0Home,\u00a0I would take my pet out of its cage to play with it on the grass. Sander told me the guinea pig only liked him. I believed him. I kept hoping my pet would like me too.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;have my pet for long. A few weeks later, when I came to the Part-Time Home, I saw the cage was empty. I ran to ask one of the workers where my guinea pig was. I was told someone had put pee in the animal\u2019s water bottles, and all the pets had died. The worker then showed me where they were all buried. I was devastated! Someone had killed all these animals on purpose! From then on, no one brought pets to the Part-Time Home.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>November 8, 1969 &#8211; My Baptism<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We had Home-teachers who often came to visit&nbsp;us. (<em>Home-teachers are men in the Mormon church who have been assigned to visit once a month.)<\/em> It was a man and his son, Steen, who was about 18. I loved it when they came to see us. They both made me feel like I mattered.\u202fWhen the home teachers&nbsp;arrived,&nbsp;they told me I was old enough to be baptized. They asked me who I would like to have baptize me. I asked Steen if he would do it. He told me he had never baptized anyone before, but he would be happy to do it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it was time for me to get baptized, there was no doubt in my heart that it was the right thing to do. I&nbsp;couldn\u2019t&nbsp;wait to become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.\u202fUncle Ole, Aunt&nbsp;Jytte, their two children, Linda, Peter, and Grandma&nbsp;Helfred&nbsp;all came for my special day. When we got to the&nbsp;church,&nbsp;the font was filled with water, all ready for me to go in. I felt so&nbsp;pretty&nbsp;all in white. Best of all, my hair had finally grown a little bit past my&nbsp;ears,&nbsp;and I&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;look like a boy. Steen seemed nervous.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before I went into the water, someone said a prayer, and then we sang the song,\u202fCome, Come Ye\u202fSaints. Then it was time to go&nbsp;into&nbsp;the water. Steen said what he needed to say, and then he put me under the water to baptise me. There was air in my dress, so it would not go all the way under. I had to be fully immersed in the water to be baptized. Steen kept holding me under, hoping my dress would go down. I thought I was going to drown! When Steen finally pulled me out of the water, I was relieved I could finally breathe. Since it wasn&#8217;t done correctly, Steen had to redo it. The second time he tried it, he succeeded.\u202f\u202fWhen I got out of the&nbsp;water,&nbsp;he apologized for having to do it twice. I&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;mind,&nbsp;I felt it&nbsp;was done twice because the Lord wanted to let me know I was special.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After the baptism, Uncle Ole and his family gave me a beautiful green purse. Steen and his dad gave me a candle and a candle holder. They told me it was to remind me to let my light shine always. Mom gave me a Book of Mormon, and Grandma gave me&nbsp;a costly&nbsp;gold bracelet.\u202fShe told me it was to be an heirloom. I was to pass it on to one of my children when they were grown, and they were to pass it on to their children, and so on.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grandma told me I&nbsp;couldn\u2019t&nbsp;have the bracelet until my hand was big enough to keep it on my arm without slipping off. I would try the&nbsp;bracelet on&nbsp;every day for&nbsp;a very long&nbsp;time, hoping I had grown big enough to fit it. Mom started to&nbsp;wear the bracelet. She told me she would give it back when I could fit it. After the baptism, we all went to our place and had hot chocolate and cake.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Bent\u2019s Visit&#8211;November 1969<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While\u00a0Bent\u00a0was staying with us, Mom told him she was tired of their long-distance relationship. She said it was time for them to get married. Either he could move in with us, or we could move to Canada\u00a0with him.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bent was a bachelor and seemed proud that he had never been married. He was content with the way things were. He liked his freedom and the ability to come and go as he pleased.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This time, Bent stayed with us for two months before returning to Canada. I overheard Mom talking to one of her friends. She said she wanted Bent to marry&nbsp;her,&nbsp;so she had stopped taking her birth control pills. Mom figured if she got&nbsp;pregnant,&nbsp;Bent would have to marry her.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sure enough, after Bent left, Mom was expecting. Mom called Bent to tell him the \u201cGood News.\u201d However, he&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;seem to share her excitement. He told Mom he was not ready for such a&nbsp;commitment,&nbsp;and she needed to get an abortion as soon as possible.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Abortions were illegal in Denmark at the time. Bent said he would pay for whatever it&nbsp;cost&nbsp;to send Mom to another county where abortions were legal. Mom told Bent she was keeping the baby, and if he&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;marry her, she would call his&nbsp;parents in&nbsp;Skive and tell them what kind of irresponsible son they had.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bent still insisted she&nbsp;got&nbsp;an abortion. Then Mom said, \u201cI will also call your parents&#8217; neighbors and tell them I am pregnant. Do you want your parents to live with this kind of scandal?\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After talking for a while, Bent&nbsp;realized Mom wasn&#8217;t going to get rid of the baby, and that she had made up her mind. The&nbsp;conversations&nbsp;ended with Bent telling Mom he would come back in February so they could get married.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sander\u2019s Baptism, December 1969<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A few years&nbsp;ago,&nbsp;when Sander had turned eight, our Home-teachers asked him if he wanted to get baptized. Sander had said he&nbsp;didn\u2019t&nbsp;believe in our church and would never become a member. Mom and Grandma kept trying to talk&nbsp;him&nbsp;into&nbsp;getting baptized.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When Sander turned eleven, we had two Elders who often came to our home. Sander took a liking to them. They were able to&nbsp;talk&nbsp;him&nbsp;into&nbsp;getting baptized. One of the Elders performed his baptism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"558\" height=\"776\" src=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Sander-mom-and-i.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-185\" style=\"width:349px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Sander-mom-and-i.jpg 558w, https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Sander-mom-and-i-216x300.jpg 216w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 558px) 100vw, 558px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>The day Sander got baptised<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Dad never said anything when I got baptized, but he was&nbsp;pretty disappointed&nbsp;when he&nbsp;found out&nbsp;Sander had joined the church too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>First Grade. I am in front, in the blue dress, third person from the right. Second Grade-1969 When you go to school in Denmark, you are with the same students until you finish. There was a boy in my class named Tony. By the time we started second grade, he had become a terrible bully. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=198"}],"version-history":[{"count":120,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11938,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/198\/revisions\/11938"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}