{"id":22169,"date":"2026-06-03T20:39:14","date_gmt":"2026-06-03T20:39:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=22169"},"modified":"2026-06-03T21:47:01","modified_gmt":"2026-06-03T21:47:01","slug":"chapter-174","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=22169","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 174 Custody"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Friday, December 21, 2018<\/strong>

In my session with Trisha, I told her things that had happened with Jared and Emma. She said I needed to apologize for my part in the decline of our relationship. She said it’s typical when you have C-PTSD that you withdraw from your closest friends and family because you don’t trust and have a fear of getting hurt.” She suggests that after I apologize, I invite them over for Christmas.

When Richard came home from work, we went to Jard’s and Emma’s house so I could apologize to them. While I was polishing, Richard sat in the corner with a smirk on his face. After I apologized, I invited them over for our family Christmas party on Sunday. I was so glad they accepted the invitation.

As Richard and I were driving home, I asked him why he had been smiling. He said it was because he was so happy that I tried to talk to them. I felt something was off, but since I didn’t know what, I believed him.

Saturday, December 22, 2018<\/strong>

Johny and Emma are going to spend Christmas break with Richard and me. I’m so excited and have lots of fun things planned for us to do during the week.

Today Richard and I went shopping with Johny and Emma so that they could pick out some clothes. It was my Christmas present to them.

Monday, December 24, 2018<\/strong>

I invited Beth, her family, Sarah, Laila, Duke, Johny, Emma, Jared, and his family to come over after church for our family Christmas party. I was excited to have everyone gathered and for veryone got to meet Lily.

Our family has gotten big, and it’s expensive to buy presents for so many people. I told everyone that we weren’t going to exchange presents, but if they wanted to, we could do a white-elephant gift exchange. Then everyone would only need to bring one present. Everyone thought that was a good idea.

I had bought some presents for Beth’s younger girls and my grandchildren since they are still little. After they had opened their presents, we did the white elephant exchange. As we were doing that, I noticed Duke and Richard sitting in a corner, exchanging presents. I thought it was odd because Richard never bought anyone anything for Christmas. But I figured they were like two peas in a pod, so that was probably why they decided to exchange presents.

I don’t think Duke or Richard noticed that I had seen them exchange presents, since there was so much going on. Later, I asked Richard what that was all about. He said, “Oh, we just thought it would be fun to do.”

After we had eaten, I got a chance to play with my grandkids in the playroom. It was so good to have them back. Words cannot express just how happy I was to spend some time with them!

Monday, December 25, 2018<\/strong>

Richard, Emma, Johny, and I were invited over to Jared’s house to see what their kids got for Christmas and then play some games with them. I was nervous about how it would go because Richard kept reminding me of things that had happened in the past.

Things that were misunderstood.<\/em>

While we were at their house, my grandkids were excited to show me what they had gotten for Christmas. Emma worked on a puzzle while everyone else played video games. I wanted to help her with it, but I didn’t know if she would be okay with it, so I went and sat on the couch. Jared, Johny, and the grandkids asked me to play too. It gives me too much anxiety, so I told them I was fine to watch them. Emma and I didn’t say much to each other. But I am grateful they invited us over.

When Johny, Emily, Richard, and I got back to our house, Johny said he and Emily wouldn’t be spending the week with us after all. I said, “But Dad took the week off so that we could spend some time together, and I have the whole week all planned out.” Johny said Emily had already made plans for them to stay in Salt Lake with her friends, and they had some things they wanted to do together. Then they packed their stuff and left.

When they had left, I said to Richard, ” Well, I guess since both you and I have the week off, we should plan some stuff to do together. Richard said, “A lot of people at my work have taken the week off, so I’ll be going back to work. I will probably work overtime, since there is so much to do.”

Tuesday, December 26, 2018<\/strong>

After Richard went to work, I was sad. Part of me didn’t believe he had gone back to work, but I ended up telling myself I should be grateful he had a good job and was so dedicated to it.

I looked at the list of things I had planned to do with Johny and Emily. I curled it up and threw it in the garbage. I felt so sad. I went back to bed, thinking that if I slept a little longer, I would feel better.

Friday, December 28, 2018<\/strong>

This whole week, Richard has worked till late. I didn’t want to have to deal with life, so I ended up sleeping. I kept hoping I would feel better, but instead I felt even worse for sleeping so much.

Monday, December 31, 2018<\/strong>

Laila called to ask if she could come over to spend New Year’s Eve with Richard and me, since Duke was going to a concert with some friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Even though Richard was home, he just stayed in his office. I didn’t mind since I got to spend the evening with Laila and her baby.

I enjoyed every moment of it!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Thursday, January 11, 2019<\/strong>

25 years ago, when I was babysitting a lot of kids to pay off Richard’s credit cards. I had a filling fall out of one of my teeth. Since I was watching so many children, it was hard to take time off to go to the dentist. By the time I went to the dentist, my tooth was infected. The dentist showed me on the X-ray that I was lucky that the infection hadn’t gone to my brain.

When the dentist cleared up the infection, I had a root canal. That same tooth has been bothering me again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Today I got a second root canal done. I can’t believe how much trouble one tooth can cause!<\/p>\n<\/div>

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When I was done at the dentist, I was in even more pain than before. I sure hope it will stop hurting before preschool tomorrow.

Friday, January 31, 2019<\/strong>

My tooth wouldn’t stop hurting. After preschool was over, I went to lie down. Princess must have thought it was a great idea, because she hurried and lay down in my arms and fell asleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I figured if I just had to endure the pain, it would go away soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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At the time, I didn’t know the dentist had left too much cement in my tooth, and that it could be serious. I have been conditioned from childhood not to complain. Over the next 10 months, I went about my daily life, trying not to think about the pain.<\/em>

Friday, February 1, 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Princess won’t go to sleep unless I go to bed too. It’s hard enough to push through the pain and get everything done as it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I had laundry that I wanted done before going to bed. She was not happy with me.
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Monday, February 4, 2019<\/strong>

This week was the letter Hh for hospital. So I dressed up in my scrubs to look like a nurse. When it was time for the kids to get picked up, one of the moms looked at me and asked, “Do you work at a hospital?” Just to be silly, I said, “Yes, didn’t you know that?” She said no and asked what I did there. I told her I showed young students how to use the stethoscope and all the other instruments. She said that sounded like fun. I told her that I really enjoyed it. She asked what hospital I worked at. I said, “It’s called Sarari Hospital.” Then she looked at me, confused. When she realized what I was talking about, we both laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Thursday, February 7, 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laila called. She had a cold and didn’t feel well. She asked if I minded if she came home just until she got better. I told her, of course not.

Saturday, February 9, 2019<\/strong>

Duke came to our house and had lunch with Laila. When he came, I asked him if he wanted to hold the baby. He took Lily and looked at her. He seemed distant and didn’t say much. Then he handed her back to me and left.

Sunday, February 10, 2019<\/strong>

I reached for something that was behind Laila. She ducked as if she thought I was going to hit her. That’s when I knew for sure something was terribly wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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After talking with Laila, it was obvious that it wasn’t safe for her to go back to living in the basement with Duke and his family.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Saturday, February 11, 2019<\/strong>

I called up Jared and a few other family members to ask if they would mind coming to help move Laila back home. Everyone dropped what they were doing and came right away.

When we got to Duke’s parents’ place, it was Duke’s mom who opened the door. I told her that we were here to get Laila’s belongings, and it shouldn’t take long.

Duke’s mom immediately called Duke at work to let him know what was happening. She must have been surprised that Duke stayed at work and didn’t seem to care.

While Laila showed us what to pack, Beth was down the street at a nearby restaurant, holding Lily. She was to call if Lily woke up and needed to nurse.

Just as we packed up the last box, Beth called to let Laila know that Lily was awake. Laila went and picked up Lily so that Duke’s parents could say goodbye to her. As they said their goodbye, Duke’s mom cried.

Since none of us knew if Duke’s parents would see Lily again, it was heartbreaking, but it was for the best.

Thursday, February 28, 2019<\/strong>

Laila is such a good mom! She is hoping to get full custody of Lily. I told Richard we needed to see a layer to help Laila. Richard didn’t want to pay for one and told Laila that she needed to sign Lily over to him so he could adopt her. It sounded odd to both Laila and me.

Laila and I went to see a lawyer. When Richard discovered it, he told me Laila would have to pay for it on her own. Then he again tried to have Laila sign Lily over to him. Laila still refused.

Richard pulled me by the arm into the other room. He told me I needed to talk Laila into letting him adopt her because it was the only way she could win her case. I said, if you adopt her, I need to be on the papers too, because if anything happened to you, Lily would be up for grabs. He angrily said, “No! I am to be the only one to adopt her!” It made me sick. I asked him why I couldn’t be named on the papers. He angrily responded. “Because you don’t need to be!” Something was not right! Then he tried to force me to go and have Laila sign Lily over to him. I told him I wanted no part of it.

Saturday, February 23, 2019<\/strong>

I have already redone the pathway a few times because Richard keeps taking it apart. He tells me it’s because he needs to put pipes under it. Now he tells me he needs to take apart the bottom of the pathway again because he needs to put electricity in the shed. He apologized and said he wished he had thought of it sooner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The pavers are heavy, and they have taken a toll on my hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know if I have it in me to redo the walkway for the third time.

Richard promised he would put the pavers back when he was done, but I doubted it.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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Thursday, March 14, 2019<\/strong>

Laila and I went to see her lawyer. He said there was no reason for Richard to adopt Lily, especially since Duke was happy to give up his rights to their baby.

Friday, March 15, 2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Lily is old enough to sit in a Bumbo. It’s so cute! We joke that she is just like one of the students, and the preschoolers just love her.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Thursday, April 18, 2019<\/strong>

It was a long night. Laila needed to get some rest, so I offered to take care of Lily. Princess is not too thrilled about Lily. It felt like a circus taking care of Lily while Princess and Laila’s dog followed me around. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I’m so grateful Laila has moved back home. These past 5 years have not been easy for her<\/p>\n<\/div>

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Friday, April 19, 2019<\/strong>

We had our Easter egg hunt today. I look forward to when Lily will be old enough to join the preschoolers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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For now, I will enjoy her cute little smiles and cues.
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Sunday, April 21, 2019<\/strong>

This Easter Sunday, Jared and his family came over after church. Both Jared and Emma are good about their kids not eating too much sugar, so I put coins in the eggs instead of candy. It was nice to have them over and to have them spend time with Laila and Lily, too.

Later in the evening, I also had an Easter egg hunt for Beth and her girls and the girls in the neighborhood who call me farmor, along with their parents. We ended the evening with singing karaoke. It was such a fun evening.

This Easter, instead of mourning the loss of my grandkids, I have been blessed with twice as many.

It’s spring break, so the neighborhood girls asked if they could have a sleepover. I didn’t mind since Richard sleeps in the basement anyway. So they all slept in our bedroom. Richard was not happy about it. I told him that he shouldn’t care since he was downstairs anyway.

Sunday, May 5, 2019<\/strong>

Lily got blessed today. Laila had asked Jared to say the blessing and had filled out the papers saying that Jared was going to do it.

When we got to church, Richard had changed the papers and said that he was going to do it. I told Richard that he needed to respect Laila’s wishes. Richard wouldn’t hear of it, and his word was final! I think we were all stunned by his arrogance.

Monday, May 6, 2019<\/strong>

Laila had to go to court today because Duke had agreed to give away his rights to Lily. Richard took the day off work to go with us.

The judge had Duke raise his right hand and put his hand on the bible to swear that he understood that he was giving away all rights to his daughter. Duke was more than happy to do that. Before the hearing ended, the judge had Duke place his hand on the Bible again to ensure he understood that after today, there was no turning back. Again, Duke was more than happy to abide.

The whole time we were in the courtroom, Duke never looked over at Lily. Not even once! I wondered why he wasn’t at least curious to see how much she had changed since he had seen her last. It was obvious that she meant nothing to him.

As Laila sat crying, my heart broke for her. I did my best to comfort her, and I thought that when it was over, Richard would do the same.

Just before the judge dismissed us, he turned to Richard and asked, “Since your daughter is not going to receive child support, will you help her when she is in need of something so that she won’t have to ask the State. Richard smiled and answered, “Of course!” I thought I doubted that. I wish the judge had him sign for it instead of taking his work for it.

When the judge said we could leave, Laila and I walked out the door at one end of the room. Richard ran over to Duke, and they walked out another door. I was in disbelief! Laila and I stood and waited for Richard to return. Laila was still crying and needed to get home. Since he was taking so long, I went over to where Richard and Duke were standing. They were both laughing as they were talking.

I walked over to Richard and said, “We need to get Laila and the baby home.” Richard shooed me off and said he would be there in a minute.

I then went back to Laila, and we continued to wait for Richard. When he finally came, I said to him, “After what Duke has done to Laila, it took everything I had not to yell at him. How could you be so chummy with him? Especially when you know the harm he has done to your daughter!” He nonchalantly said, “I guess I am more Christ-like than you are.” I didn’t know how to respond because I was dumbfounded by what he had said.







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Friday, December 21, 2018 In my session with Trisha, I told her things that had happened with Jared and Emma. She said I needed to apologize for my part in the decline of our relationship. She said it’s typical when you have C-PTSD that you withdraw from your closest friends and family because you don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22169"}],"version-history":[{"count":133,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22321,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22169\/revisions\/22321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}