{"id":26022,"date":"2026-08-05T09:17:22","date_gmt":"2026-08-05T09:17:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=26022"},"modified":"2026-08-05T09:32:59","modified_gmt":"2026-08-05T09:32:59","slug":"chapter-187-moving-forward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=26022","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 187 Moving Forward"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Wednesday, March 10, 2021<\/strong>

I was so worried about how I was going to get by. I continued posting things online.

I sent Tiffany, my niece in Canada, a message letting her know how the divorce went and that I wouldn’t be able to come see her anytime soon.

Thursday, March 11, 2021<\/strong>

When I was able to see Richard’s messenger, there were so many family and friends that I wanted to contact to tell them what he had said about me wasn’t true. Instead, I have waited to see who believed him.

I have a friend in Denmark named Inge-Lise. I watched as they messaged back and forth. She and I were once so close. We used to message, call, or email each other at least 3 times a week. I was sad over losing her as my very dear friend.

I got a message from Inge-Lise today. She told me that Richard had said some awful things about me, and she has concluded that he lied. I didn’t tell her I had seen their messages; instead, I was glad she was finally able to see through it and have her back in my life.

She told me that, now that the mediation was over, Richard had messaged her to say he was planning to come to Denmark with his boyfriend to visit and hoped to stay with her and her husband while they were there. Since she realized he lied, she wrote back that there were plenty of Airbnbs and hotels they could stay at.

It’s mind-blowing to me that he has contacted so many family and friends and tried to destroy our relationship.

Saturday, March 13, 2021<\/strong>

Jared brought me $500.00. For something he had sold for me online. He then helped me set up auto pay for all my bills. Since I was so worried about money, Emma helped me set up a budget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My whole life I have never had very much money, so I had always been careful with it. Looks like it will be that way for the rest of my life. Not what I had expected. Especially after working so hard for so many years!

Sunday, March 14, 2021<\/strong>

A man who lived close to me dropped off a box. He said, “Richard asked that I give this to you.”

The box had the real document from when I got in a car, with the amount I had actually received. I guess he just wanted to throw it in my face that he had taken more than just the $10,000.

There were also Johny’s passport and SS cards, which he claimed I had lost. Papers that I needed when Johny was getting ready for his mission.

It was a box full of things that I could have done without. I don’t understand why he wants to keep hurting me. Especially since I devoted my whole life to him, thinking it was my job to get him back to Heaven.

Monday, March 15, 2021 <\/strong>

Laila goes to work at 3:00 pm and doesn’t get back home until 5:00 am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Laila sleeps in the living room so that she can still spend time with Lily.

Today while Laila was sleeping, I heard Lily laugh. I looked over and saw that she had pried Laila’s eyes open. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Laila’s schedule has been hard on both of them. For now, she’s been able to make it work. I wonder if she’ll be able to keep it up.

Tuesday, March 18, 2021<\/strong>

I got an email from my lawyer asking me to go to H&R Block and get copies of my 2019 and 2020 tax returns that Richard filed, since Richard wouldn’t comply with the request to send him the papers.

When I got to H&R Block, the man I spoke with wouldn’t give me the information I requested. After explaining to him that the papers had been filed jointly, he was happy to help me.

As he looked at the papers that I had requested, he said, “It looks to me like your husband has filed things under your preschool that he shouldn’t. Such as his car, which he stated was purchased to use for your preschool, among other things. He then said he needed to report him for fraud.

Then we saw that my signature was on the papers. I told him at the time I had no idea what I had signed. He asked me why I had not read it. I told him because at the time I trusted him. He realized that if he reported Richard for fraud, I would get in trouble as well. For my sake, he was going to turn a blind eye to it. Then he handed me a copy of the papers.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021<\/strong>

My neighbor up the street was going through a divorce, so she asked if I wanted her 6 chickens. I said yes, since I figured I could sell the eggs. Then my friend Crystal asked if I wanted her 6 chickens since she was moving and couldn’t take them with her. With the 2 chickens I have, I now have 14 chickens.

Chicken feed used to cost only around $12.00 a bag. Ever since Covid, it has more than doubled. The hay, the seashells, and the dried worms have also gone up in price.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It was costly to keep the chickens healthy. <\/p>\n<\/div>

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People also wanted to buy the sign I had made to put out front. If I had the time, I would have made more of them. At least I was getting nice, big eggs and selling enough to break even.

One of my chickens, whom I had for 6 years, is named Sally. When she was just a chick, someone told me if you give a chick lots of attention, they will become your pet.

I wanted to test it out for fun. When I bought Sally, I made a point of holding her daily and gave her extra attention. As she got older, whenever I would come into the backyard, she would cluck loudly until I would come get her. Then she would stay by my side, even long after the sun had gone down. She wouldn’t go in the coop unless she was sure I had gone in for the night.

She and Princess were my little companions whenever I worked in the yard.

Today, when I went to gather up the eggs, Sally clucked loudly. So I picked her up, held her in one arm, and opened the lid with the other. Sally looked in to see what I was doing. As I was gathering the eggs, the lid slipped out of my hands. It was heavy. It landed right on her neck. It didn’t kill her. Instead, she was suffering from a broken neck.

I quickly set her down. I wanted to put her out of her misery, but couldn’t. I ran inside to get Laila. She could tell by the look on my face that something was terribly wrong. I told her to come with me.

When we got outside, I told her what had happened. She told me to go back inside, and she would take care of it. A few minutes later, she came back in. She said, “That wasn’t easy, but at least she’s not suffering anymore.” Then she threw her clothes in the washer since they had blood on them and washed her hands. I don’t know what I would have done if Laila hadn’t been home. I will never name another chicken as long as I live!

Friday, March 19, 2021<\/strong>

It’s been a crazy busy day, posting and selling things online. I went to bed as soon as Lily had gone to sleep since I was exhausted. As I was lying there, I wondered how much money I had made. I got up and added it all up. It was a whole $78.00. Not enough to pay the lawyer. I thought I had to quit worrying so much because I still had so many more things to sell and my life was moving in the right direction.

Saturday<\/strong>, March, 20, 2021<\/strong>

The weather has been so nice lately, so I had another yard sale. I’m so sick of yard sales! Hopefully, I will be done with the lawyer soon! Then I never want to have another one for as long as I live!

Friday, March 26, 2021<\/strong>

Richard was to have signed the deed to the house and handed it over to me by now. I was worried that I would lose the house, so I messaged Jared to ask what I should do.

Jared got in contact with the title company. They promised to give him the deed today, then he would meet with Richard at the bank tomorrow and have him sign the papers.

I’m so grateful for Jared! I just don’t know what I would do without him!

Saturday, March 27, 2021<\/strong>

Jared waited at the bank for almost an hour before Richard finally showed up. Jared said it was hard to see him again, knowing what he is really like. I let Jared know I was grateful that he had taken care of it for me. I don’t know how I can ever repay him for everything he has and is doing for me!

Wednesday<\/strong>, March 31, 2021<\/strong>

When I saw Trisha today, she told me it’s very common for people with C-PTSD that it’s hard to speak up. When they do, it’s not just speaking up, but a full blow-up. I knew what she was talking about. It’s when I keep hoping things will get better, and then I finally have enough.

I was to start practicing speaking up in my daily life.

It was a lot easier said than done! <\/em>

Sunday, April 4, 2021<\/strong>

The Bishop stopped by. He handed me a piece of paper. When I opened it up, it was a bill for 5 sessions of therapy. Ever since he became the Bishop, not a single session has been paid for. I was shocked!

I said, “The Stake President told me to go to therapy and that the church would pay for it; otherwise, I would have never gone!” He responded, “It’s time for you to take care of your own bills. You can do that, can’t you?!”

I thought the Lord had helped me this far, and I was sure he would help me with the bill as well. Even though I had no idea how I was going to pay for it, I took the bill and shut the door.

After the Bishop left, I broke down crying. Right when I’m doing so well! I just don’t understand! I prayed for strength to help me get through this endless trial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monday, April 5, 2021<\/strong>

I called Trisha to ask why she hadn’t told me the bill hadn’t been paid. She said you needed the therapy. The church said they would pay for it, and I kept hoping they would come through. I didn\u2019t tell you because I know you can’t afford it and you have enough to worry about.

I canceled my next appointment with her. She asked me not to because she was worried about me. She said she would work with me on the payments. I told her, with the amount of money I am getting in alimony each month, I can’t even afford the gas to come see you. Then I thanked her for being willing to work with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friday, April 9, 2021<\/strong>

I still haven’t received any alimony. I got an email from Richard saying he couldn’t pay me because my bank wouldn’t work with him. I sent the email to my lawyer. He said, “Very likely story. I will get in touch with his lawyer.”

Saturday, April 10, 2021<\/strong>

I got an email from Richard saying I was mentally ill like my mom and that I should seek professional help. I emailed back a screenshot I had of him from Messenger. One where he had sent pictures of himself with an erection in several different poses. Along with the screenshot, I wrote, “I’m pretty sure I’m not the one who is mentally ill since I don’t send this kind of garbage to underage boys. Looks to me like you’re the one who needs professional help.”

I got an email back saying Very funny! A few hours later, I got another email saying, “From now on, if you need to communicate with me, you need to do it through my lawyer.” I was dying to write back; I’m sure he’d love to see all of the screenshots I got of you. Instead, I ignored his email. Hopefully that cured him of sending asinine emails to me.

Thursday,<\/strong> April, 15, 2021<\/strong>

I keep thinking I have cried my last tear. When I least expect it, I get sad and mad over everything that’s happened to me. I can’t believe how much he’s gotten away with. Then I dust myself off and remind myself that at least he’s gone and I am moving forward!

Friday, April 16, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Johny called from Scotland to tell me he has a son. I can’t wait to meet him!

That makes 5 grandkids total. I feel so blessed!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Thursday, April 22, 2021<\/strong>

Richard was supposed to have sent me half of the tax returns for 2019 and 2020. Since he hadn’t, my lawyer asked me to go to H&R Block and get the information so we could figure out how much he owes me.

He was also to have paid for the utilities and the internet in March, but hasn’t. I am getting late fees. I am so sick of having to deal with all this, especially since the divorce is over!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wednesday, April 28, 2021<\/strong>

I got an email from my lawyer saying it will take time to enforce the divorce decree through court. The process is time-consuming and expensive. He suggested I forget about the tax returns and the outstanding utility bill he owed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sent my lawyer an email asking if he’s the one who’s in contempt. I don’t understand why I should have to pay for it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He emailed me back. “It probably wouldn’t be worth your time and effort.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can’t believe I am having to deal with this!

Monday, May 3, 2021<\/strong>

I have started babysitting again, just for friends who need me here and there, not full-time.

I still need to get my house cleaned up from everything that’s been donated to me. When people ask me if they can drop off something they no longer want, I have said no, thank you, since it’s become too much for me. Some of the boxes I have gone through are things that should just be thrown away. It’s become so overwhelming for me to clean up the house.

Sometimes when I open the front door, there are still boxes that have been dropped off. Even though there are some good things in some of the boxes, I am starting to feel like a junkyard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saturday, May 8, 2021<\/strong>

<\/em>I got an email from my lawyer asking if Richard has paid. I responded no. To add insult to injury, I was charged for both emails.

Sunday, May 9, 2021<\/strong>

Lily wanted me to play with her. I told her I was tired and cold and asked her to bring me a blanket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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She came back with her Barbie’s blanket and carefully tucked me in.

She continues to crack me up. I feel so blessed to have her in my life!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Monday, May 10, 2021<\/strong>

I didn’t have enough money to pay the lawyer or the therapist, so Arnie gave me some of the money from my mom’s inheritance. He gave it to me in cash just like he had the other times. He said he would give me the rest later when some paperwork had been taken care of. I wondered how much money there was left, but I was afraid to ask.

Monday, May 11, 2021<\/strong>

Arnie brought the rest of my mom’s inheritance. I was excited to see there was enough to get some things done around the house. The first thing I did was make an appointment to have real steps put in the front.

Tuesday, May 25, 2021<\/strong>

I was able to have the steps and walkway put in today. I was so excited!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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They gave me a deal since I also needed the back circle done.

. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I had dug that circle out 7 years ago. It was so surreal watching them get it done!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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When they finished, the man in charge said, “It looks like you need gravel in your pavers.” Then he gave me the rest of the gravel that he had for free.

I feel so blessed!<\/p>\n<\/div>

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Saturday, May 29, 2021<\/strong>

I have wanted a railing since we first bought the house 26 years ago. 12 years ago, when I had the blood clot, it was no longer a want but a need.

I called yesterday to make an appointment to have one put in. The soonest I could get it installed was in 3 weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I got a call from the man installing the railing. He said, “It’s a small job; I’ll do it today.”

I was so excited!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Saturday, June 5, 2021<\/strong>

Laila and I held a party to thank everyone who had been there for me throughout my divorce. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I know I will never be able to repay everyone for what they have done for me, but I wanted to let them know I was grateful.

Without their help, I could not have made it through this difficult time!

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Sunday, June 6, 2021<\/strong>

A man knocked on my door. As he handed me a paper, he said, “So there is someone living here.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I said I have been living here for 26 years; what do you mean by that? He said if you don’t pay your bill by tomorrow, it will be turned off.

I was confused because Jared had set it up to auto-pay.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I called Rocky Mountain Power to ask what was going on. I kept getting a recording, and I couldn’t get into my account.

Monday June 7, 2021<\/strong>

I called Rocky Mountain Power first thing this morning. The lady I talked to said, “Looks like your husband turned off the auto-pay.” I said, “We are divorced; the account is in my name.” She responded, “It says here he called up and said you were back together and that you needed it turned off because you were moving in with him.

Then she asked how I could not have noticed that the money hadn’t been taken out of my account these past few months. I told her it was all new to me how to pay my bills and how it all worked. Then I asked her to unlock my account because I couldn’t access it. She told me she couldn’t unless I knew the password.

I was so frustrated that he had been allowed to do that, and now I was locked out. I asked the lady, “It’s my account; how can I not be allowed access to it?” She put me on hold.

I ended up spending the rest of the day on hold talking to this person and then that person without getting it resolved.

I was frustrated and upset. I called Jared to tell him what had happened. He said, “You better call on all your utilities to make sure he doesn’t mess with them as well.” I will call Rocky Mountain Power tomorrow and get them to unlock it for you.”

Tuesday, June 8, 2021<\/strong>

Jared called them up and couldn’t get them to unlock my account. Then he called his dad and told him he needed to give him the password that he had put on my account. He gladly gave it to him. It was “14October1983.” It was the day, month, and year that we got married.

I just don’t understand what he gets out of doing this to me. I feel like I am being stalked by a monster!

Because Richard had removed it from auto pay, I now owed $356.09. Luckily, I still had money from my mom’s inheritance, so I was able to pay it.

Wednesday, June 9, 2021<\/strong>

About two weeks ago, I got a text from a mom asking if I would please start preschool again. I couldn’t do it no matter how much I wanted to. Just to be silly, I asked Laila if she wanted to start preschool again.

Without hesitation, she said, “I’d actually love to!” Her schedule was killing her, and when she was off, she was too tired to do anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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She gave her two weeks’ notice and started having day camps again to earn money.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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Saturday, June 12, 2021<\/strong>

I still had a little bit of money left, so I went to Radio Shack to buy a new radio for my car. I was told it should take about 30 to 60 minutes to install, so I could just wait in the store.

After waiting for 90 minutes, I went to talk to the man who was installing it. He said, “Sorry it’s taking so long. I should have come out and talked to you. I am having problems installing it because the wires to hook it onto were cut.” I was confused.

How could the wires behind the old radio be cut? He said, “Your old radio was taken out, and then the wires were cut. The wire was then thrown behind the radio, and the radio was put back. Then he showed me the wire. It was frayed at the end. I asked him if that was normal. He said, I’ve never seen that. I asked him if it could have been caused by someone hooking it on and off again. He said Yeah, but it wouldn’t make sense for someone to do that.

I told him about how the radio had gone off and on. I told him about how my ex liked to mess with my mind. He said, “Wow, then he finally just cut the wire off altogether! That makes sense why the wires have been cut.” He told me it would take a bit longer to hook up the new wires to the old ones since there wasn’t much to work with.

It ended up taking 3 hours before he was done. But man, was I grateful to have a new radio! It also has a camera so that I can see when I back up.

If it wasn’t for that inheritance, I couldn’t have gotten all the things that I have wanted and needed for a very long time. I was so grateful Richard never had a chance to get a hold of the money!

It was weird for me to think about how much I had worried about money ever since he left. Here I was, able to buy things I never could when we were married. Here’s to a new life! And moving forward!

Sunday, June 13, 2021<\/strong>

I was lying in bed resting when I got an alert on my phone that someone was at the door. I looked at my phone to see who it was. It was my Home teacher and his wife.

As he was about to ring the doorbell, I heard his wife say, “Will you look at that! Looks like she can afford new stairs.” Her husband stepped back to have a look at them. Then he said, “Wow, you are right, she must not be doing as bad as she proclaims!” Then he walked back up the stairs and rang the doorbell.

I didn’t want to answer the door, but I got up and let them in. I wanted to tell them how I had been able to afford the stairs, but since I wasn’t getting help from the church, I didn’t feel that I owed them an explanation.

My home teacher asked how I was doing and whether I felt ready to come back to church. I told him it would probably be a while. He told me I should read my Patriarchal Blessing because that would help me with what I was dealing with.

Yeah, that started a whole new conversation ending with me saying, “If I wanted a blessing to know what was going to happen in the next life, I would have waited till then to get it.”

I am surprised I haven’t thrown it away by now, especially since I will never read it again.

Saturday, July 3, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Jared let me use his truck since I had so much dirt to get rid of.

My grandsons came and helped me. Together, we went to the dumps, where they continued to help me.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It would have taken me all day to do it alone. I was so grateful for their help. I tried to pay them, but they refused.

When Richard first left, I was so worried about so many things. One of them was that I no longer had a truck. So much needless worry; instead, life just keeps getting better!

Sunday, July 4, 2021<\/strong>

It’s been dry this summer. They posted on the news that it was illegal to set off any personal fireworks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I don’t get why stands are allowed to sell them since you aren’t allowed to set them off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laila got a bucket of water. We quietly went into the backyard and let off some sparklers, hoping no one would notice.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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Monday, July 5, 2021<\/strong>

The summer before Richard left, he took out all my flowers and all the dirt in the front flower beds. He claimed it was because he needed to fix it. He never did anything to it, so it’s been sitting there empty ever since.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This spring I was excited to plant flowers there again.

I went on YouTube to see what I could do to get the best results.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It said to put sticks on the bottom for the irrigation, so I did. Next, it said to put compost on top. I got the compost from the backyard.

Looks like there were lots of seeds in it. This is not where I planned to have a garden. But now I’m excited to see what’s growing!

Wednesday,<\/strong> July, 7, 2021<\/strong>

I can’t believe I am 60! Someone took a screenshot of Richard’s post and sent it to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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They wanted to make sure I knew just how much he still cared for me even though I had taken his money and kicked him out. Even though it made me so mad, I didn’t respond.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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It’s made me so depressed that all I want to do is sleep.

A few hours later, I got up because I realized he’s already taken so much of my life away, and I can’t let him win.

I got a call this afternoon from Arnie wishing me a happy birthday. Then he asked me if I was available, because he wanted to take me out to eat. I told him I didn’t feel like going anywhere. He said he had some flowers that he had bought for me. I told him he was still welcome to come over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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When he came over, he still wanted us to go out to eat. I told him he needed to wait till I had put my makeup on. He said, “You have always been and still are beautiful with or without makeup. So let’s just go.”

He then asked me what my favorite restaurant was.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Both Laila and I had just assumed that she and Lily were coming, so Laila started to put on their shoes.

It was kind of akward because Arnie said it was just for me. As I went out the door, I told Laila to text me what she wanted to eat, and I would be sure to bring it back to her.

As we were driving to the restaurant, Arnie said, “I have always hated the way Richard has treated you! You never deserved it! If you marry me, I will make sure to treat you right and take care of you. You will never have to worry about money again.” I was speechless.

Since I didn’t respond, he said, “I know you have always said that you wanted to be the only wife in heaven. Since you can’t be my only wife, I will make sure you are number one wife.

I could just hear my mom yelling at me from Heaven, totally pissed off. I still didn’t know how to respond. So we kept driving in silence.

When we got to the restaurant, I ordered food for both Laila and me. Then I said we could probably head home before it got too late. Then we drove back home without talking.

When we got back to the house, Laila and Lily sat down and ate with us. After he left, I was still trying to process that he had proposed to me.

I thought, “I can’t tell anyone about it. It would go with me to my grave!”

Saturday, July 10, 2021<\/strong>

The R.S. President, who is also my close friend, invited Laila, Lily, and me over for dinner. She had planned a surprise birthday party for me. She had also invited her sister, who is also a close friend of mine, and her family to come over and celebrate my birthday.

She knew I didn’t like to be startled. So she made sure no one yelled suprise when I came through the door. The living room and kitchen were decorated with balloons and streamers. I couldn’t believe how much work she had gone to in order to make my birthday special!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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There were different kinds of cakes and ice cream. It meant more to me than she’ll ever know!

Monday July 12, 2021<\/strong>

Last Friday, Jared asked me if I would watch his kids for the summer. Their nanny hadn’t worked out, so he would pay me what he and Emma had planned to pay the nanny. I was so excited about it and told him I would do it for free! He insisted he pay me.

Jared brought his kids to my place this morning. I am so excited to spend all summer with them!

While we were together, my oldest grandson asked me if I was poor. I asked, “Why do you ask that?” He responded, “My dad said not to ask you to buy us anything because your money is all gone.”

I thought about just how incredibly blessed I was to have him and his siblings back in my life. Since I was taking so long to respond, he asked, “So are you poor or not?” I answered, “No, I wouldn’t say I am poor.” He responded, “Oh good, cause if you need money I can give you some of mine.”

There are just some things in life that money can’t buy. And this moment was definitely one of them!

Monday, July 12-August 17, 2021<\/strong>

It’s been so nice to watch my grandkids during the summer! Jared bought a season pass for Lagoon for his kids and me. So we have spent a lot of time there; we have also tie-dyed t-shirts, bowled, swam, and done a whole lot of other things. I can’t imagine a better way to spend the summer!

Jared and Emma paid me quite a bit of money for watching their kids. I put the money aside in an envelope and hoped someday to be able to go back to Denmark with it.

Friday,<\/strong> July 17, 2021<\/strong>

Laila and I were sound asleep when the doorbell rang at 1:30 am. My neighbor from across the street said, “Sorry to wake you up, but I figured you would want to know what just happened.”

A car had come from the next street over. The person driving must have been drunk because of the speed they were going, and then lost control of their car. They did a lot of damage. Then they sped off. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We called the police so they could make a report. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It was posted in the local news, hoping someone would have footage of the car.

At the time it was posted, no one realized the Xfinity box had been damaged, so there was no footage of it anywhere.

The girl who had done the damage saw it in the paper. She went to the police to confess, because she was scared it would be worse for her if the police saw the footage and figured out it was her car. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Saturday, August 18, 2021<\/strong>

When the Xfinity guy came out, he said in all the years he’s worked for the company, he had never seen a box this damaged. He has to rebuild it from scratch, so it will be a while before the whole block has their internet back.

A man who lives a few blocks away had seen it on the news. He came over and fixed the wood around the damaged tree.

I am in awe of so many kind people that have been placed in my life! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Wednesday, August 18, 2021<\/strong>

Laila had her first day of preschool today. She seems so much happier. Doing preschool doesn’t pay very much, so we are planning on getting stairs put in so that she can become a licensed daycare provider.

Thursday, August 19, 2021<\/strong>

Laila had finally been able to drive her car again since it had been insured and fixed. Now that it had been hit, she could no longer drive it. She called for a tow truck to bring it to a shop. The mechanic told her it was totaled!

Looks like we will be sharing my car again. But I don’t mind.

Thursday, August 26, 2021<\/strong>

When I got Princess, I brought her to the vet to make sure she was healthy. I was told, due to her age, she should have about 3 more years left. It’s been 3 years and one month. Hopefully she won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Princess usually sleeps on the gray pillow. Tonight when I was about to go to bed, she was fast asleep on my pillows.

She must have figured out whose pillows were softer.<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I love that little Princess of mine and don’t know how I ever got along without her.

Saturday, August 28, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

26 years ago, when Richard put up the fence, he installed a metal gate.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Whenever I asked him when he was going to put in a real gate, he would always respond with, “Does it have to be right now?” Just like he had with everything else that needed to get done.

With the rest of my mom’s inheritance, I was able to finally get a gate!
<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I have called around to see how much it costs to put in stairs and a door in the back. The highest bid was $26,000, and the lowest was $18,000. It looks like we won’t be able to get it done for quite a while!

Thursday, September 2, 2021<\/strong>

Justen, my neighbor, who told me to always call him if I ever needed help. He has taught me how to use my tools. He has also helped me with things that I couldn’t do myself. Too many to mention. He has been a lifesaver!

He has a friend of Danish descent who would like to meet me since I’m from Denmark.

Justen picked me up so that we could go have lunch with his friend who works downtown. While he drove, he told me all about his mission in Philadelphia. He said he was no longer active because of so many things he had discovered about the church.

He said that when he graduated from law school, during the talks he heard words he had heard when he went to the Temple. That’s when he first started to wonder about the church.

He then went home to look it up online. He realized Joseph Smith hadn’t been inspired by God, but had copied from what’s called Freemasonry.

The more he looked into the church’s history, the more his testimony fell apart.

Justen has a funny sense of humor, so I really enjoy spending time with him. He is the kind of friend everyone should have!

He later sent me this on Messenger. The Book of Mormon had many similarities to a book called The Late War.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Saturday, September 4, 2021<\/strong>

Johny calls me often from Scotland. Then I get to FaceTime with his baby. He’s so cute! I can’t wait to meet him!

Today when Johny called, I could tell he wasn’t wearing his garments. I asked, “Are you not wearing your garments?” Johny seemed uneasy. I said, “It’s okay, I am not either.” I pulled my shirt aside and showed him my shoulder. He was surprised. He said, “No way?! What happened?!” I told him everything that had led up to it. Then I asked, “How about you?”

As we talked, I realized that Johny had come across many of the same things Justen had. Johny asked me, “When you think about Joseph Smith translating the Book of Mormon, what have you been taught?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

I told him that he was reading from the golden plates, just as it had shown on the cover of the church’s magazine, the Ensign, a long time ago.

Johny said no; if you look it up, he had his head in a hat with a rock in it.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n



It sounded so bizarre to me, so Laila looked it up.

Sure enough. That’s how he had translated the Book of Mormon.<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Johny asked Remember the page in the Book of Mormon of The Book of Abraham? I did because there had been a heated discussion about it in one of the Sunday school lessons I had attended a few years ago. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Guess what? No modern scholars or critics support what Joseph Smith has claimed to have translated.

Johny told me the more I looked into the church’s history, the more I discovered the things I thought were anti-Mormon turned out to be true. Then he told me that both he and his wife no longer believed the church to be true.

Saturday, September 25, 2021<\/strong>

Jess called me this morning. He was upset because of a letter that he had received from Richard’s lawyer.

I told him I could come pick him up and he could spend the weekend at my place. I told him beforehand that I had borrowed my son’s truck and had to move some dirt to take to the dump, since I had to return the truck later today. He seemed to understand.

When I got to his place, he showed me the letter. It said that he needed to stop seeing Richard’s family, among other things. If he didn’t, he would sue him for pain and suffering.

I asked Jess how Richard knew we had been in contact with each other. He said I had sent him messages saying that he had to be nice to you because you aren’t crazy. I told Jess it was best he didn’t message him anymore. He promised me that he wouldn’t.

When we got to my place, Jess wanted us to relax and visit. I told him I would love to, but as I had explained before, I had my son’s truck and needed to return it later today. I told him he was welcome to help me put the dirt from my yard onto the truck. Then it would go faster, or he could just relax and wait inside.

Jess chose to stay by my side as he watched me work. Laila came out and helped me dig the dirt since it was a huge job. When we were done, I had to take it to the dumps before they closed.

Jess came with Laila, Lily, and me. He seemed sad that we couldn’t do anything fun. On the way to the dumps, he wanted to stop by and get some coffee from the stand on the side of the road.

We went in the huge line-up of cars so he could place his order. I was beginning to worry that we wouldn’t make it to the dumps in time.

While we were waiting, he asked me, “If you invited your sister to come be with you, is this what you would be doing? I can’t see you make her work. I felt bad for Jess. I told him to bear with me. We just needed to get to the dumps so I could return the truck on the way back.

When we got to the dumps, Jess waited inside the truck with Lily while Laila and I unloaded the truck. When we were done, we stopped by Jared’s place to return the truck.

When we got home, Jess felt like I had only brought him to my place so I could use him as free labor. I assured him that I cared about him, but this was something I had to get done today.

When we got to my place, Jess hardly said a word. He spent the night, and the next day I brought him back to his place.

Hopefully this weekend didn’t harm our relationship. I care about him, and I feel bad that he thinks I was only trying to use him just like so many other people he had come across in his life.

After this weekend, I never saw Jess again. But he does occasionally send me a short message that says “hi” or mentions a product he is currently using. <\/em>

Tuesday, October 5, 2021<\/strong>

I wondered how Per was doing, so I sent him a message on Messenger and asked.

He told me he was living with someone and had retired early due to stress. It sounded like he had been through a lot. As we messaged back and forth just like before, he told me he had four kids, and one named Sarah. Now he also had 5 grandkids, just like me. I thought it was ironic there were so many similarities.

We didn’t message much after that since he was in a relationship.

Wednesday,<\/strong> October 6, 2021<\/strong>

I picked up Johny and his family from the airport. I wanted to hold their baby. Emily told me, “He’s just at the stage where he is afraid of strangers, so he will probably cry if you try to hold him.” I smiled at him. As soon as he saw me, he leaped into my arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

He then proceeded to touch my face. It was as if he thought, “I recognized you from when we FaceTimed. Now I can touch you in real life!”

I will cherish that moment forever!<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

We then went to my place since that’s where they will be staying for the next few days.

Saturday, October 9, 2021<\/strong>

Jared and his family came to visit since Johny and his family were back from Scotland.

Richard recently asked Jared whether he was aware that he was not Johny’s father. Why he did that, we don’t know. Maybe to try to ruin my relationship with the boys. But instead it backfired.

While we were together, we joked about it. I told Johny if his dad tries to contact him, he should say, “Why are you contacting me since you are not my real dad? I have met my real dad. He is so awesome!” Even though we joked about what Richard had said, I know it still hurt Johny.

Oh, how I wish I could do my life over! But at least we are making the best of it!

Tuesday,<\/strong> October 12, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

I ended up getting a lot of different kinds of pumpkins that grew in front. This picture doesn’t even include the ones that I have already sold.

<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

I also got a lot of pumpkins that grew in the compost. I hadn’t planted them either. But I am excited to sell them as well!<\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I ended up making over $100.00. All on something that had planted itself. I know I am being watched over!

Friday, October 15, 2021<\/strong>

When I first came to America, Jace had asked me to wait for him while he went on a mission. Since I was already engaged, I turned him down. It’s been almost 40 years since I last had contact with him. I had wondered what had become of him, so I found him on Facebook.

He had moved to a town an hour away from where I live and had been divorced for 10 years. We have started dating. I asked him what he was doing for his birthday. He told me nothing, so I made a Danish birthday cake from scratch and was going to bring it to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

When I was almost at his house, he messaged me that his kids were coming over, so today wasn’t a good time for us to get together.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I messaged him back, saying I would love to meet his kids. He responded that he wanted to prepare them, so it would have to be some other time. I thought it was odd, but then I thought maybe I was overthinking it.

My sister lived close by, so I went to her place instead. We roasted hot dogs and ate the cake. When we were almost done with dinner, Jace texted me that his family had gone home and that I was welcome to bring the cake.

I messaged back that I was at my sister’s and we had already eaten the cake since he had canceled our plans.

I don’t think it’s going to work out between us.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021<\/strong>

It had been so windy that my mailbox had blown over because it never got cemented in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

I wanted to ask my Home teacher, but since I did not want to be a burden, I posted it on Facebook. Hoping someone would help me with it, since I had never worked with cement before. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

This evening, I noticed someone was cementing the mailbox in. It was cold and dark, so I went outside to see who it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It was Justin. He was just finishing up. His hands were wet and cold. I couldn’t thank him enough! <\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Wednesday,<\/strong> October 27, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Laila wasn’t feeling well, and today was the Halloween party. I knew how much it meant to the kids, so I stepped in for her.

I had forgotten just how much it was to teach preschool. I was glad I had been able to help out.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Sunday, October 31, 2021<\/strong>

This morning when I woke up, Lily was crying and wanted me to get her something. I told her I didn’t feel good at all. Until I felt better, I couldn’t help her.

I thought she was going to cry even harder. Instead, she took her little frozen hands and put them on my feverish face, helping my fever go down. Then she ran off. A few minutes later, she came back with a band-aid. As she put it on my arm, she said, “All better!” Even though I was so sick, I couldn’t help but smile at her and thank her for the band-aid. If only it had been that simple to get better!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

I am pretty sure I have COVID. I never went to the Dr. to have it tested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When my neighbor found out, she brought me all kinds of medicine to help me get better.

It took me a long time to recover from it. <\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Friday, November 19, 2021<\/strong>

I deep cleaned the garage. I couldn’t believe how many scissors I found! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n



They were hidden everywhere! All the scissors that had gone missing! Scissors I had been led to believe I had misplaced!

They were all hidden! Part of me got so angry, but then I realized I should just be glad that all the mind games have stopped!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

As I was deep cleaning the garage, I kept hoping to find my glasses as well. They were nowhere to be found, so I’m sure they were thrown away.

Saturday, November 20, 2021<\/strong>

It’s my turn to host our family’s Thanksgiving. To afford it, I was going to use some of the money I had put aside for a trip to Denmark one day.

Just as I was about to go to the store, someone rang the doorbell. It was 3 strangers. They said someone had nominated me to have Thanksgiving dinner. Then they handed me a box of food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It had everything you would want for a Thanksgiving dinner! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I couldn’t thank them enough. <\/p>\n<\/div>

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Thursday, November 25, 2021<\/strong>

I had invited Jace over to spend Thanksgiving with my family and me. He thanked me for the offer and said he would be spending it with his kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

While I was eating dinner with my family, Jace sent me this text.

<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Maybe things were going to work out between us after all.

Saturday, November 27, 2021<\/strong>

I wondered if I had enough money to go back to Denmark. I looked online to see how much an airplane ticket would cost.

They were between $2,000 and $6,000. I would also need money to get around while I was there. I had nowhere near that amount of money. I didn’t want to give up hope. I thought someday somehow I would go back again.

Saturday, December 18, 2021<\/strong>

About a month ago, Laila invited Arnie to come to Lily’s birthday party. He said he couldn’t come since he was going camping. Laila has been sad about it.

This evening she said to me, I honestly thought he would change his mind about camping and be there for us. I told her I needed to talk to her.

I told her what happened on my birthday. She said, “Wow… I have always thought of him as my grandpa, and Lily just adores him!” Then she sat there in silence, trying to digest it. Then she said, “He was the only man in my life that I thought was different from the rest!”

I told her not to tell anyone about it, and that I was originally going to take it to my grave. The only reason I had to her was that she had been sad about him not coming to Lily’s birthday party. I wanted her to know it was nothing personal and that it was probably akward for him to come to our house.

She thanked me for telling her. Now it made more sense to her why he hadn’t wanted her and Lily to come with us to the restaurant and why he hadn’t come to Lily’s party.

Sunday, December 19, 2021<\/strong>

It’s the Sunday before Christmas, so I went to church. It was the first in almost a year. It was so strange to be back. Immediately after the meeting, so many members came up to me and gave me a hug. A hug I could have used when my world felt like it was coming to an end.

One of the members said, “You need to forgive Richard. He will see his ways, repent, and then he’ll be back.” I thought, “You are obviously clueless!” For the first time, I had no need to explain myself. Instead, I just smiled.

Another person said I needed to do what I could so that Richard could see our kids. He too was obviously clueless! Again, I had no need to say anything. It felt so good!

I didn’t go to the last two meetings. I just wanted to go to Sacrament meeting since it was Christmas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I attempted to put up the lights myself. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I reflected on the year that’s come and gone. I had worried so much about money, and somehow it’s all worked out. I know Heavenly Father is watching over me, and I have faith that He will continue to be there for me.







<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Wednesday, March 10, 2021 I was so worried about how I was going to get by. I continued posting things online. I sent Tiffany, my niece in Canada, a message letting her know how the divorce went and that I wouldn’t be able to come see her anytime soon. Thursday, March 11, 2021 When I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26022"}],"version-history":[{"count":634,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26022\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26734,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26022\/revisions\/26734"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}