{"id":2855,"date":"2024-03-18T22:32:30","date_gmt":"2024-03-18T22:32:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=2855"},"modified":"2026-04-06T14:24:17","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T14:24:17","slug":"i-am-a-grandma-chapter-139","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/?p=2855","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 139 I’m a Grandma!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n


Monday, September 1, 2008 <\/strong>

When Bent was alive, he had rented a room in his basement to a lady named Maggy. Bent had mentioned in his will that she was to get $50,000.00. Maggy had moved out a few months before Bent killed himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beth got a call from Maggy’s lawyer. He claimed that Maggy was his live-in girlfriend and was suing for everything Bent had.

Beth and I went through Bent’s journals, and we were able to prove that she was just a tenant.

I have started to get nightmares of my past living in Canada. I dream I am a little girl being hit and yelled at. I am hungry, cold, and have nowhere to turn. I have tried to deal with the nightmares like I had been taught by the first therapist that I had seen years ago. But it wasn’t working.

Ever since we got back from Canada, I’ve been craving peanut butter sandwiches. I eat one, but it’s not enough. I keep eating them even though my stomach hurts. I hate peanut butter, so I couldn’t understand what was going on.

I was also craving pears. It was pears that had to be perfect and not too soft. I would go to the grocery store to find the perfect pear. One day, I ate 21 pears. Even though I felt sick from eating that many in a day, I still craved more. I have gained 14 pounds from all these cravings.

The cravings seemed uncontrollable and were making me miserable. I lay down to figure out what was going on.

As I lay there, I realized the reason for the peanut butter sandwiches was that, as a child living in Canada, it was the only thing I was allowed to eat to satisfy my hunger.

After going to Canada and seeing my old room, I was subconsciously afraid I would go hungry again. No amount of peanut butter sandwiches was going to satisfy that fear!

Then I wondered about the pears. As I was going over it, I remembered when we lived in Skive, I was only allowed to eat the bruised pears that had fallen on the ground. My craving for hard, perfect pears was a way of telling myself I WAS worthy of the good pears.

When I realized this, I told myself I would not be locked in my room and go hungry, and that I was worthy of the perfect pears.

It was bizarre to me to think the cravings were all mental and had nothing to do with hunger. Once I realized this, the cravings went away.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008<\/strong>

I had another nightmare last night. This time, I dreamt I was a little girl sitting on the toilet in Canada. I did not make it in time. I had peed all over the floor. I woke up crying. I was scared I was going to get in trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I went into the living room and tried to get over the nightmare. I sat on the couch in a fetal position. As I was resting my head on my knees, I wrapped my arms around my legs. As I sat there, I gently rocked back and forth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was the strangest thing. I was the adult holding the scared little girl inside me. I told her that I understood what she had been through and that I would protect her so that it could never happen again. I reassured her that everything would be okay. After a while, I felt better.

After that, the nightmares stopped coming back.<\/em>

Wednesday, September 3, 2008<\/strong>

Sarah and her boyfriend have moved in with her boyfriend’s mom. Her name is Margo. They live in Colorado.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3 weeks ago, Margo called to tell me that Sarah had tried to kill herself. I asked what had happened. The only thing she said was, “Sarah is fine now. I just thought you should know.”

I called Sarah to find out more information. Sarah didn’t want to talk about it. I told her she was welcome to come home. Sarah said no to the offer.

Sarah called me today. She was hysterical because Margo had given her and her boyfriend 2 weeks to leave her house. Margo had said they needed to get a job because she was done supporting their lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sarah demanded that we take her, her boyfriend, and both their dogs in. I let Sarah know she and her poodle were welcome, but not her boyfriend or his Doberman. Sarah got angry and hung up the phone.

Thursday, September 4, 2008<\/strong>

Jared called me from the hospital to tell me that his wife was in labor. I was so excited!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Later, when my grandson was born, Laila, Johny, and I went to the hospital to see him. He was perfect!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Later, when Richard came home from work, we went to the hospital again so that he could see the baby. It is hard to believe I am a grandma now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m a farmor!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n










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Monday, September 1, 2008 When Bent was alive, he had rented a room in his basement to a lady named Maggy. Bent had mentioned in his will that she was to get $50,000.00. Maggy had moved out a few months before Bent killed himself. Beth got a call from Maggy’s lawyer. He claimed that Maggy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2855","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2855"}],"version-history":[{"count":58,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2855\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17864,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2855\/revisions\/17864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2855"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2855"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annemettehowland.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}