Christmas, December 24, 1967
When we had eaten Christmas dinner and it was time for dessert, Mom brought out an ice cream cake she had bought at the store. The cake was pre-cut and in one of the slices, there was an almond. It is Danish tradition on Christmas Eve that whoever gets the almond gets a prize.
Mom handed a slice of cake to me, and then she handed a slice to Sander. Sander immediately yelled out, “Anne-Mette’s piece is bigger than mine!” Since I didn’t want any fighting I hurried and switched them. Sander quickly calmed down and we started to eat. As luck would have it, I got the almond. I said with excitement, “Look, I got the almond!” Sander at once started up again. He yelled, “You took my piece of cake, now give me back my almond!” Mom got out the almond prize. It was a bag of candy. Mom told us to share it. I didn’t mind. Sander, however, was pretty upset about having to share the almond gift. I thought it served him right that he ended up having to share the candy with me.
I drew the picture, in January 1968. The baby in the carriage is me. The cloud is raining on me because Mom has run off with her boyfriend to get married and she has forgotten all about me.
In this picture, Mom is playing with her boyfriend. I am in the baby carriage. I wanted to play with Mom but she was too busy, so I am playing by myself.
I drew this last picture because I felt Heavenly Father was aware of me. I am the child in the baby carriage. There is a cloud raining over me since Heaven is sad because of the way my life is. There is a butterfly by my feet to comfort me, it’s letting me know that I am not left totally alone.
Food Poisoning 1968
Even though the police had previously told Mom that she had to let me go see my dad on weekends, there were still times when Mom told me to stay home with her. This particular weekend that I didn’t go, Sander asked Dad if he could bring a friend named Lars. Dad said it was fine if Lars came instead.
I was so envious of Lars. I knew he would have a lot of fun since Dad always had the whole weekend planned.
The next day, Saturday, Mom decided to fix something for us to eat. She looked in the fridge and found some old leftover potatoes mixed with meat. Mom heated it up and we ate it. After lunch, Mom told me to go play outside while she took a take a nap.
As I was running around outside I started to feel sick. I went in and saw Mom was asleep. I was afraid to wake her up. I didn’t want to make her mad. However, I felt I had no choice. I was so sick! I told Mom I felt like I had to throw up. She told me to go stand over the toilet and then stick my finger down my throat. She promptly went back to sleep again.
I went to stand over the toilet, but I didn’t get a chance to stick my finger down my throat because when I leaned over, I automatically threw up. I felt so much better and went outside to play again. Later when I came back in, I saw Mom leaning over the toilet trying to throw up, but she wasn’t able to get rid of the food she had eaten. She was very sick the whole weekend. I pretty much took care of both of us. I got her some water whenever she asked for it. Watching Mom made me grateful I had thrown up before the food had a chance to get into my system.
When Sander and Lars came back they told me all about the fun they had while they were with Dad. Lars said he wanted to come every weekend. There were weekends where Mom had plans and she wanted me to go. Lars still wanted to come, so there were weekends when all three of us went to Dad’s. I didn’t mind Lars coming, I was just grateful I could come along. However, when I came, Dad hardly even talked to me. I didn’t know it was because Mom had told him I didn’t want to come. I found this out years later. I thought he didn’t like me because my hair was cut off and because I was not as smart as Sander. I admired Sander even more and hoped one day I could grow up and be just like him.
Broken Family
One weekend when Mom had me stay home with her. When it was Sunday we went to church again. The teacher gave a lesson on families. After the lesson, the teacher asked us to draw a picture of what we enjoyed doing with our family. I told the teacher that my parents were divorced and that I couldn’t draw us doing something together. The teacher told me to draw something I wished we could do together. This was the first time I was aware that I lived in a broken home.
This is the picture I drew that day. January 1968. It is my family having a picnic. It was very painful for me to draw because it made me feel like I was broken and I had to pretend to be whole.
Spring 1968
Whenever Mom had spring vacation she sent Sander to Dad’s and as usual I was not allowed to come along. Instead, I went with Grandma Helfred to visit her sister, Ada, who lived in Germany. My cousin Peter came too. Peter was about four years younger than me, but we still had fun playing with the chickens and rabbits that Ada had in her backyard.
Summer 1968
Mom had her usual summer vacation. This time she was going to Canada to visit Bent and from there she would take a bus to visit family she had in Salt Lake City.
Mom arranged for her uncle, Frederick and his wife Tove to watch us. Tove and her husband had kids who were almost adults. Their family had planned to ride their bikes and tour Denmark this summer. Tove told Mom if she was to watch us I would need to learn how to ride a bike. This was the condition under which Tove would take Sander and I for the summer.
Mom bought me a used yellow bike. To my surprise, it didn’t take me long to learn how to ride it. At the end of June Mom was off to Canada. Tove came to pick us up and we went on a train that took us to where she lived. Sander and I didn’t know her or her family very well since we didn’t see them often. They treated us kindly. It didn’t take long for us to feel at ease.
During the day we would ride bikes all over the country and only stop to eat. When it got late we slept in a tent in an open field. On July 1st we went on a 40-kilometers (25.8 miles) bike ride. It was hard on me, but I didn’t want anyone to think I was any trouble so I did my best to keep up. Tove’s daughter, Bente would stay in the back to make sure I didn’t get too far behind.
One day we stopped by the ocean. We relaxed and played in the water with a beach ball. When we toured a lot of the island called Sjæland, we took a train ride to a place called Fyn. We stayed with one of Tove’s sons, Klaus, and his wife Bente. We stayed with them for a few days. They were both so kind to us. I am glad we were able to spend some time with them while we were on this trip.
July 7, 1968
While touring Denmark, I turned seven years old. I thought it was fun that I was born on the seventh day of the seventh month, and if you add the year I was born ’61 you get seven also. I felt so special turning seven this day.
I had told Mom I wanted a teddy bear for my birthday. While we were on the road, Tove and her family stopped and sang “Happy Birthday to me.” Then Tove pulled out a teddy bear Mom had bought for me. It was white and the ugliest bear I had ever seen. Even though it was not what I had expected, I was happy to get it, since it was from Mom, but I couldn’t understand why she picked this white, ugly, stiff bear. There were so many cute, soft, brown bears to choose from at any toy store.
Tove gave me a coloring book with some crayons. I didn’t have time to color in it because we were on the road. Tove and her family had been so nice to me, but inside I felt a little sad because I secretly hoped I would spend my seventh birthday with Mom. I had dreamed that she would get me a birthday cake. On the eve of my birthday, we slept in tents along the side of the road.
July 8, 1968
We woke up and got ready to pack our things. I found I had left my coloring book out on the grass. It was all ruined because it had rained during the night. I felt terrible. I should have brought it into the tent with me.
This day we went 33 kilometers (20.5 miles) in less than three hours. It was very hard on me, and it was impossible for me to keep up, so I was allowed to stop and rest twice along the way. I was glad when we stopped to get something to eat so that I could finally get some rest without feeling guilty.
We got to see quite a bit of Denmark that summer. When we got to Copenhagen it was time for Tove to go back to work. She took Sander and I with her. She cleaned houses for elderly people. Tove bought Sander a toy car and me some paper dolls to help keep us busy while she was cleaning.
One day while we were with Tove she told us we had to play at the playground that was nearby while she cleaned. While we were there, a boy pushed open a big steal gate that was by the playground on top of my big toe. It was hard for us kids to get the door off my foot and the door had crushed my toenail into pieces. Sander sat down beside me and tried to comfort me while we waited for Tove to come back. When she was finally done cleaning, she saw what had happened. Tove took me to the pharmacy and bought some alcohol, tweezers, and Band-Aids. After she had cleaned my toe off with the alcohol, she proceeded to pick the broken toenail out with the tweezers. Boy, was I glad when she was finally done and was able to put the Band-Aid on.
After this incident, Tove was afraid to leave us by ourselves. It was so boring to come with her even though she had bought us some toys, after all, there was only so much Sander and I could do with his toy car and my paper dolls. The days seemed to drag on forever.
After Tove had been watching us for over two months, it was obvious she was starting to get tired of us. One evening she had told us to sit still and eat our dinner without talking or laughing. Sander and I laughed because Tove’s husband had dentures. His dentures were too big for his mouth and they made a funny sound when he ate. We tried not to laugh because we could both sense that Tove had had enough of us. We did all we could to be good. However, we glanced at each other at the same time and broke into laughter. The food we had in our mouths went everywhere. Tove dismissed us from the table and told us to go to bed. We had not finished our dinner so it seemed like forever before we were able to fall asleep and even longer before it was time for breakfast.
August 1968
Finally, the day came when it was time for Tove to bring us back home. We were so excited to see Mom again! When we got home Mom had not yet returned. Only Grandma Helfred and Grandma’s sister, Ada were there, along with Edith and Edith’s husband. They were visiting from Germany. It was fun to have this family visiting with us. I remember wishing that I could speak to Edith and her husband, but they didn’t understand Danish. Edith taught me to say a few words in German. It was fun to learn this new language.
After a couple more days, Mom came through the door. She set down her suitcase and proceeded to hand us the presents she had bought for us while she was away.
We were anxious to hear all about her trip. Mom told us she first flew to Canada and stayed with Bent for a while. She then took a bus to Utah and visited with family. I thought it would be fun to go there someday and see this part of the family Mom was telling us about. Mom told us after she had visited with family she took the bus back to Canada and spent the rest of her vacation with Bent.
Mom gave Grandma a copper Temple. Grandma showed such excitement and gratitude over this gift. When I was alone with Grandma, I held the Temple in my hand as I wondered what this building was. I asked Grandma why she was so happy about it. She lovingly put me on her lap and told me it was called the Salt Lake Temple. Next, she explained to me it was a very special place, where people get married and are sealed forever. She told me I should get baptized when I turned eight and when I grew up and met the right man, this was the place where I should go to get married. She then told me that she had made a lot of mistakes in her life and she didn’t want me to do the same. I remember a burning feeling in my heart and I knew what she was telling me was true. That day I told myself, “Someday I will go to America and get married in this special place, then I will finally have my own family. I would no longer be broken and my children will have a dad.”
First Day of School. August 16, 1968
I was excited to start school. I couldn’t wait to see what it was like since Sander had talked so much about it. I wore my prettiest pink dress with little yellow flowers. It was one Grandma had bought for me. I walked into the classroom and noticed the tables. Each table had a name tag to let us know where to sit. We each got an apple, a box of crayons, and a few books. On the first day we were only in school for one hour. It was to introduce us to the school and to our new teacher. I was glad to see my friend, Tina, in my class. She was a girl who lived in our apartment building.
A few days later, Tina’s mother watched Sander and I for a few hours. While she was watching us, I overheard her say to a neighbor that she felt sorry for Sander and I because our mother never spent any time with us. I thought it was true and I couldn’t wait to tell Mom what I had overheard. Mom got very upset and made me go back with her to Tina’s place. When we got there Mom told Tina’s mother not to talk behind her back, especially in front of her kids. Tina’s mother said she was only speaking the truth. She asked Mom why she only spent time and attention on her boyfriends. I thought it was brave of her to ask. I had often wondered that myself. I was curious what Mom would answer back. Mom said, “These two kids will grow up and leave me, and then I will be left all alone unless I have a man to be with me.” Tina’s mom said, “You should pay more attention to your kids, rather than chase men the way you do!” Mom got very upset and the two women got into a heated argument. When we left, I was glad the lady had told Mom what she thought about our situation. Mom, however, wasn’t so impressed. After this happened I was never allowed to play with or talk to Tina again.
Part-Time Home
Now that I was going to school I no longer went to the daycare. Daycare was only for newborns up to age seven. I would now be going to what was called a Part-Time Home. This is where Sander went after school. When Sander and I were done with school we rode our bikes to this place. I liked it better because it meant I was getting older.
On the way to the Part-Time Home, there was a tree with a large hole in it. Sander told me that in the hole there lived two squirrels. He said one of the squirrels was stupid and the other one was smart. He told me I was the stupid one and he was the smart one. I protested, but I finally agreed to it because I was afraid he would hurt me.
Whenever we passed by the tree Sander told me we had to stop and see if the squirrels would come out. I’d watch for a while and then get bored and look away. Each time I turned my head he would say, “There they are.” I looked back but didn’t see anything. I finally realized they were just make-believe. Sander kept insisting they were real, but I knew he was doing this just to torment me. I went along with it so that he wouldn’t hurt me.
Stitches
When Sander and I were at the Part-Time Home we were always the last children to be picked up. Since all the other kids had already gone home Sander and I got bored. Sander decided we should play together in the playground. Most of the workers had gone home so there was no one outside to watch us. Sander got a bike and tied a wagon to it. He said he was a taxi driver and I was to sit in the back while he drove me around. It sounded like fun, so I hopped in. I lay in the back of the wagon and looked up into the sky. All of a sudden Sander stopped. I asked him why we were not moving. He said, “This is where you get off.” I was having fun and I asked him if I could have a longer ride. Sander insisted this was my stop and told me I needed to get out of the taxi. I stood up and was about to get out of the wagon when Sander started to move again. I lost my balance and fell forward, hitting my head against the steel bar that was around the edge of the wagon. I felt a thump and passed out. When I woke up, I was laying in the arms of one of the workers. He was holding a cloth to my face. It hurt so I pushed it away. The worker told me to lie still because the cloth was there to help stop the bleeding. He said an ambulance was on its way to take me to the hospital.
At the hospital, I was brought into an operating room. I was terrified. I looked around the room hoping to see a familiar face. The nurse in the room told me to lie still. Then she gave me a shot to numb the area where they were going to put the stitches. While they were sewing up the cut they kept telling me I was a big girl to be able to lie so still for them, so they could do their job. When they were almost done, Mom came running into the operating room. She was all in tears as if she was the one who had gotten hurt. The doctors told her I was fine and I could go home as soon as they were done. When I got home Sander told me that he was sorry I got hurt. I was surprised that he cared.
October 1968
When Sander and I were at the Part-Time Home, Mom would come to pick us up after she was done with work. One day in October, it seemed like Mom had forgotten us. All the other children had been picked up. Sander and I started to wonder if Mom was ever going to come and get us. One of the caretakers waited for a little bit with us. After a while, she said it was time to lock up the center because she needed to go home. She told us to go home explaining that our mom was probably there. (I was seven and Sander was almost ten.)
When we got to the apartment we rang the doorbell, it was obvious that Mom was not home. Sander and I started to worry. We didn’t have a key to get in, and it was cold outside. Then Sander asked me to kneel with him in front of the doormat so that he could say a prayer. He asked Heavenly Father to watch over us because we were scared.
When he was done with the prayer, a peaceful feeling came over both of us. We both felt reassured that everything would be fine. Then Sander said, “Let’s go down to the playground and play in the sandbox. I am sure Mom will be back soon.”
It started to get colder and dark. However the peaceful feeling never left either of us, and we just kept playing in the sandbox. When three hours had gone by, Sander and I saw a car with shining lights come toward us. A police car pulled up next to the playground where we were. We were surprised to see Mom get out of the car.
Both Sander and I ran toward Mom to ask her where she had been and why she was driven home by a police officer. Mom told us when she was on her way to the Part-Time Home to get us she had been hit by a car. Mom had been in the hospital.
I know that Sander and I were being watched over. I am grateful for the peaceful feeling that Heavenly Father sent to help us this day.
A few days later Mom said it was time for Sander and I to get our own key to the apartment. We both got a chain with a key on it, so that we could let ourselves in whenever we needed to.
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