Tuesday, May 21, 1996
Mom called because she and Sander were upset with me. They found out that I have been writing to Bent Ramsdahl in Canada. Mom told me I was only doing it to get his money, and that she and Sander had decided I needed to stop having contact with him. Mom said that Sander had gone to see Bent to ask him for money, and he wouldn’t give him any and therefore, I shouldn’t have any contact with Bent. Mom added that Bent never gave me a wedding present, and I should be upset about it. I thought it was ironic because neither she nor Sander.
I told Mom that Sander had called me collect when I got married and asked for the money that I had received for wedding presents. Mom said it was my fault for accepting the collect call.
I wish they would leave me out of all their drama. I am not writing Bent to get money. I am doing it because I have forgiven Bent for how he treated Sander and me while we lived in Canada. Bent writes and calls me once in a while. I enjoy hearing back from him.
Sunday, June 2, 1996
Mom still demands that I have no contact with Bent. I got caller ID, so I can see who is calling me. I stopped answering the phone when she called because I didn’t want to deal with her.
Richard and I got called into the bishop’s office. The bishop told us that my mom wanted both Richard and me excommunicated. She had said that Richard was molesting our children and that I was enabling him. Therefore, she wanted both Richard and me excommunicated. I was shocked. If Richard got excommunicated, he would lose his job since he works for the church. Mom knows that, yet she is still trying to do so much harm to us.
We have been in our ward for 6 months, and the bishop hasn’t had a chance to get to know us. I was worried that he was going to excommunicate us.
When I got home from church, I called Elisabeth. Elisabeth told me that she and her husband had been called in to see their bishop, too. Turns out mom is also trying to get Elisabeth and her husband excommunicated. Elisabeth said that Mom was mad because Elisabeth was not supporting her in getting us excommunicated.
Monday, June 24, 1996
The bishop asked Richard and me to come by his house when Richard gets home from work. I thought for sure that the bishop believed Mom, and the worst was about to happen. Turned out that the bishop believed what I had told him about my mom, and we aren’t getting excommunicated after all.
Friday, June 28, 1996
Richard gives me a little bit of money each month. It’s not enough to buy food or necessities. I have asked for more money. Richard told me that he couldn’t give me more, and if I needed to buy something, I should charge it. He knows I won’t charge because of the interest that’s added on. I asked him why there is always money for all the nice clothes he buys himself. Richard said that he needed to look nice for work. I pointed out that he has 7 tailored suits, not including the ones he already had before he started working for the church. I am sure he didn’t need that many for work. This upset Richard. He got so angry that I got scared of him. Since he has hit me before, I stopped asking for more money.
I sew or knit the children’s clothing, but the material is starting to cost more than buying clothes for them.
Richard tells me I can’t do anything in the yard because the outside is his and the inside is mine. He has let me have a garden to try to cut down on the grocery bill.
Monday, November 4, 1996
A childcare business just opened in Stansbury. I went and applied for a job there.
Monday, November 11, 1996
I started my new job today. It only pays minimum wage. $4.50 an hour. But at least I will be able to buy food and clothes for the kids.
In the morning, I drop off Jared and Sarah at their school. Then I take Laila and Johny with me to the daycare. Laila’s school bus picks her up. Johny stays with me for free while I work.
Monday, April 7, 1997
At the daycare where I work, they have a menu that they have to post by law. It always says “fraught” and “vegetables” for snacks. And a healthy lunch. But the truth is, they only get saltine crackers for snacks and a cheap lunch. I worry about Johny. He is gaining so much weight from all the starch he is fed at the daycare. I tried to bring him some fruit and vegetables. But it’s impossible to give it to him when the other children aren’t looking. They see me give Johny healthy food, and they want some too. I can’t afford to bring fruit and vegetables for everyone.
I have tried to let the state know that the daycare is not feeding the children what is on the menu posted. The person I talked to didn’t seem to believe me. The daycare is allowed to have 18 children in the classroom where I am working. I have 24. I can’t give Johny the attention that he needs. When the state came in to do an inspection, I told the lady that I had more children in the classroom than allowed. She just smiled and nodded, then she left. I realised the state must have known what was going on and didn’t seem to care. Since I can’t change what’s going on, I have put in my two weeks’ notice.
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