Saturday, September 26, 1998
My calling has not been easy! I am still tending. In the afternoon, when the children go down for a nap, I read and work on the assignments that I have been given. As soon as the daycare kids go home, Beth takes care of my children, makes dinner, and does whatever else needs to get done so that I can work on my calling.
When Laila is too much for Beth, she comes and gets me so that I can take care of her. When I get behind on my assignments, I spend all weekend trying to catch up. My calling takes up about 6-8 hours a day. If I miss a day, it’s almost impossible to get caught up. I have to admit, I don’t think it’s right. My kids are still so young. I never see them anymore. During the day, they are at school, and in the evening, I’m in my bedroom working away. I am doing this calling for free. Everyone tells me, just think of the blessings you get! Right now, all I can think of is that I am missing out on being with my kids.
I feel bad that Beth has to do so much for me since her girls are so young. I wonder if the church understands what a burden this is. I have been called, so I will serve and keep my opinions to myself!
Sunday, September 27, 1998
Beth’s husband Philip has started acting weird. He is always trying to get Sarah alone in his bedroom. When Philip gets home from work, I keep a close eye on Sarah and make sure she is not too far from me. It’s not been easy since I still have to do my calling. Even Richard has noticed that Philip tries to be alone with Sarah and mentioned it to me.
Saturday, October 24, 1998
At first, I thought it was an accident that Philip would come out naked. He was very careful not to do this when anyone else was around. There were times I would need something in the food storage, and I would go into the basement, forgetting that Philip was there, ready to jump out naked. These past couple of months, I have done all I can to keep Sarah close to me and stay away from Philip.
I wanted to tell Beth that her husband was being weird, but I didn’t want her to be upset with me. I also didn’t want her to think I had done something to encourage this behavior. I am worried about her marriage. I have always been able to talk to Beth about everything. I know I need to tell her, I just don’t know how.
I tried to talk to Richard about it. I asked Richard what he would do if Philip were being inappropriate with me. Richard said, “What?! Then he needs to go!” I ran after Richard and told him to talk to me before he kicked him out. Richard came back, and we went into the bedroom to talk about it.
I didn’t want Richard to kick out my sister and her family because I knew they couldn’t afford to live somewhere else. For my sister and her girls’ sake, I said to Richard, “Philip is not doing anything weird. I was just wondering if he did, what you would do.” Richard asked why I would even bring something like this up. I told him I was just wondering. Later, it seemed as if our conversation never happened.
I thought I could handle Philp by myself, but then one day, when I was in the kitchen, he came up from behind me and grabbed my chest. At first, I froze, then hurried to where Beth was because I didn’t know what else to do.
Jared is 13 years old now. Jared has always been wise beyond his years, so I told him about what was happening. Jared said he would make sure to stay by my side whenever Philip got home from work and on weekends. I felt bad for putting this on Jared, but I didn’t know what else to do.
Monday, October 26, 1998
Since I get up at 5:00 am, Jared got up with me and stayed by my side till Philip went to work. At first, I didn’t think it would be necessary since Philip didn’t get up so early before he went to work. To my surprise, Philip got up at 5:00 am too. As I was folding laundry with Jared, Philip came into the living room. Philip was surprised to see Jared sitting right next to me, so he turned around and left. Both Jared and I were astonished that Philip had gotten up so early and had come into the room where we were. Jared said, “Wow, it was a good thing I was here!” I let Jared know how grateful I was for getting up so early so that he could be with me.
Friday, November 20, 1998
Philip installed alarm systems for his work. I had noticed that he was working later and later. I tried to mention it to Beth to see if she thought anything suspicious about it. Beth had been wondering about it too. When Richard and I had gone to bed, Richard asked me if I had seen Philip come home from work. It was past 10:00 pm. I told Richard that I had not seen Philip. But Philip had told Beth that he was working late. Then Richard said, “No one has alarms installed or looked at, this late at night.”
Saturday, November 21, 1998
At 4:00 am, Beth came into our room. She was crying. It was the most painful cry I had ever heard! I knew this moment was coming, and there had been nothing I could do to prevent it!
Beth told us that Philip had left her. Neither Richard nor I could help Beth calm down, so we called our Bishop and asked him to come over. I felt bad about asking him to come at this hour, but I didn’t know what else to do.
The Bishop came right over! He talked to Beth and asked her what her worst fear was. She said it was being left alone to raise her two girls. I assured Beth that we would be here for her! The Bishop let her know that whatever help she needed, the church would be there for her, too.
Before the Bishop left, he and Richard gave Beth a blessing.
Monday, November 30, 1998
Philip came to get some of his things. I was standing by Beth to support her while Philip was here. When Philip had gotten his things, and he was about to leave, I was surprised that he barely looked over at his girls.
His oldest daughter, *K, was now 2 and a half years old. As Philip was about to walk through the door, K said, “Daddy! Oh, Daddy!” and then she burst into tears. Even at her young age, she seemed to understand what had just happened. My heart ached for her!
Thursday, December 10, 1998
Since it’s Christmas, I have been given time off from my calling. With everything that’s gone on with Beth, it was good timing!
Beth has not been able to get out of bed. I take care of her kids and whatever else she needs. Two weeks after Philip left, I told Beth that we needed to go through all her stuff and separate everything. Beth wasn’t up to it. I told her I understood and that she could stay in bed while I brought everything to her, so she could tell me which pile it was for.
I made 3 piles. One was Beth’s, one was Philip’s, and one was Don’t know. Then I called Philip and told him to come get his stuff and help us go through the Don’t-know pile.
Philip came. I gave him his stuff, and we went through the Don’t know pile. I was grateful it went quickly and easily. For Beth’s sake, I wanted to get everything cleaned up as quickly as possible so that she could get on with her life.
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