Monday, August 30, 1999
Beth, our mom, and I have permanent residence. Bill Clinton has changed the laws. We have to apply every 10 years to stay in the country. So much for permanent residency!
Beth and I have applied to become American citizens. We have to memorize answers to 137 questions. It’s nerve-racking since I don’t understand some of the questions.
Every chance Jared gets, he goes over the questions with me. When I have a quiet moment, he starts asking me the questions on the list. I told him that I needed a break from it. Jared is afraid I will get deported, so he keeps working with me to memorize the answers.
Beth and I have been called in to take the test. We both passed. I am sure that if it weren’t for Jared, I wouldn’t have gotten the answers right. I am grateful he was so persistent!
Tuesday, September 28, 1999
Beth and her girls moved into Mom’s house. This will give Beth more time to be able to focus on herself and her two kids. Even though my kids and I are sad to see them go, the kids are excited to have their own room.
Saturday, October 9, 1999
Richard took back all the finances and won’t let me see what’s going on. He told me it was his money and that I needed to trust him to handle it! I didn’t think it was right, but when he gets like this, I am afraid to protest. Besides, I have made an oath in the Temple to obey my husband, so I will have to trust that everything will go well.
Sunday, October 24, 1999
There has been so much talk on the news about the world ending in 2000. There is talk that computers will have problems once it’s 12 midnight. Now I am worried too!
Saturday, November 6, 1999
Richard removed the handle and lock on the front door. Now there is a hole in the door where air comes through. I asked Richard why he had done that and when he was going to fix it.
He told me it was because the lock was broken. To fix it, he would have to buy a new door. I thought it was odd because the lock had been working fine. I also thought it was strange that we would have to buy a new front door. When I questioned him further, he got mad. He told me it was not for me to worry about!
There had to be enough money to fix the door. I asked him to show me the finances. Turns out Richard is putting even more money into his 401 (k). I asked him why he was doing that, especially without talking to me about it first. He said, “I know it’s a lot. I feel it’s the right thing to do for our family. You are not to question me about our finances again! You will see that once I retire, it will be so nice to have all that money! Then we can afford to go to Denmark anytime you want!” I am so sick of not having any money and having no say in what’s going on with it.
Saturday, November 13, 1999
I am having a hard time with Richard taking over the finances. I wanted to find some comfort, so I asked Richard if he would be okay to watch the kids while I went to the temple.
Laila has her good and bad days. She seems to be doing well, and Richard assured me that I was okay to leave and that everything would be fine.
When I got to the Temple and went through a session, I was reminded that I had made an oath to harken unto my husband. After the session ended, I went to the Celestial room to pray. I couldn’t seem to feel peace. I thought of the scripture: if I endure well, I would be exalted on high. I tried to find comfort in knowing I was being obedient to the covenants I had made.
As I was driving into the driveway, I could hear Laila and Johny crying in the garage. I hurried and opened the garage. Both Laila and Johny were still in their pajamas. Since it’s winter, they were both cold. Laila was sitting on the stairs screaming, and Johny was hammering on the door to try to get into the house.
Johny is grown now. But the dents are still there. A painful reminder of a time long ago.
I asked them what was going on. Johny said their dad had locked them in the garage, and he was trying knock the door down so they could get in.
I hurried and unlocked the door for them. When we got in, Jared and Sarah were gone. Richard was in the bedroom watching TV. I asked him why he had locked them in the garage. He said he didn’t know what else to do with them. Then he added that they had only been out there for a few minutes. I knew it couldn’t be true because it was obvious they were both frozen and had been crying for a while.
I felt so helpless. I reminded myself that as long as I was being obedient and doing my part, someday I would be blessed.
Friday, December 3, 1999
We still have a hole in the front door where the lock used to be. I put a hand towel in it so people can’t look in and to keep the cold air out.
I have to keep a chair in front of the door so it stays shut. I worry at night that someone will walk in. Anytime I try to talk to Richard about it, he gets mad and says that as soon as we can afford a door, he will fix it.
Thursday, December 16, 1999
Beth, our family, and I met in an indoor stadium with 850 other people to get sworn in as American citizens. We were told that this was the first time in Utah’s history that so many people were sworn in at once. They said it was because of the new law Clinton had passed. People worried about what would happen in the year 2000. The event was filmed and put on the news. Even though it was exciting to be a part of this event, I cried. This meant I was no longer a Danish citizen. I felt part of my identity had been taken away.
Friday, December 31, 1999
Normally, we don’t celebrate New Year’s Eve, since I need all the sleep I can get. With all the talk on the news about the world coming to an end, I thought I’d better stay up to see what happens.
A little after 8:00 pm, Jared came into my room to let me know he had just seen on the news that Japan was 4 hours ahead of us. It was 12:00 o’clock midnight there, and they had just rung in the New Year. He was excited to tell me that their world had not come to an end! Both Jared and I were relieved that their computers had not crashed, and it gave us hope that America would survive as well.
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