Monday, August 14, 2000
Jared is still being aggressive towards me, so we have started seeing a family counselor. His name is Mark Treuhaft.
In our first meeting, Mr. Treuhaft wanted to meet with me alone. He asked me some questions about my family and me. His comments to my replies made me feel like a complete failure! After I had talked to him, he asked Richard and Jared to come into his office. I wondered why he talked to them without me? It didn’t feel right to me. He is LDS. and was recommended to us by our Bishop. We only have to pay $25.00 a session through the church. He has his license hanging on the wall. I have to trust that he knows what he is doing.
I sat alone in the waiting room and cried. The counselor had made me feel like I was a terrible wife and mother. I wondered how I could have failed so miserably.
Then I noticed that Jared had changed the radio station to one I didn’t like. He had also turned up the volume. Instantly, I walked over to the radio to change it back to its original setting.
As I held the radio in my hands, a strong feeling came over me not to change the station. I thought it was odd because I didn’t care for the music. The feeling was so strong that my curiosity got the best of me. I put the radio back on the table and sat down. The music stopped. The Disc Jockey asked the caller, “Who do we have here?” A girl answered, “Sarah.” I thought it sounded like my Sarah.
The Disc Jockey asked, “Who do you want to dedicate your song to?” She answered, “My Mom.” I could tell the Disc Jockey was taken aback, then he asked, “Why do you want to dedicate a song to your mom?” She responded, “Because she is the best and I don’t always let her know how much she means to me!” The Disc Jockey asked, “What makes her so special?” She answered, “She works so hard and does so much for our family. Sometimes, when I get home from school, she will have cleaned my room for me or baked me cinnamon rolls or cookies. She is always there for me and takes time to listen to me.” The Disc Jockey said,” She sounds pretty special, so the next song goes to Sarah’s mom!”
This was the kind of mom I had always thought I would be! I bet this mom will never know what it is like to have trouble with her teenage kids, because she would have taught them better! I felt even more like a failure. Even though it wasn’t my kind of music, I listened to the song and pretended that it was dedicated to me. After I had listened to the song, I decided I was not going to let it get me down, and I would try harder to be like Sarah’s mom.
When we got home, Sarah opened the door. She immediately said, “Mom, you are not going to believe this, but I got through to the radio station, and I dedicated a song to you!” I responded, “That was you?! You were the Sarah on the radio?!” Sarah smiled, then she said, “You heard?!” We hugged each other tight as I cried.
Lori, my neighbor, came running over to tell me that Sarah had been on the radio to dedicate a song to me. She said, “Sarah called me and wanted to know how she could get a hold of you so that you could hear the song. I let Sarah know that we had no way of getting a hold of you and that I would make sure to let you know that she had dedicated a song for you.”
I told Lori that I had heard the song. Lori asked how. So, I told her. We both knew it was not by chance that I had heard the song. Heavenly Father was aware of me. He knows the struggles I am going through. I felt comforted.
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