Going back to Denmark. Wednesday, July 21, 1976
After living in Canada for almost 5 years, Bent got the news that his mom had passed away. He was also told his father was not in good health and had been brought to live in a nursing home. It was written in the will that Bent was to inherit part of the house and all the land that went with it. Bent decided that Mom, Elisabeth, and I would return to Denmark.
to live in his parent’s house. He would stay behind to take care of some things and meet up with us later in Denmark.
Bent didn’t want to pay for Sander’s plane ticket to go back. He said Sander would have to stay behind and take care of himself. Bent reasoned that Sander was now 17 years old and almost an adult. I thought to myself, “How could he almost be an adult when he had not graduated from high school and only held a part-time job? How was he to support himself?”
I couldn’t believe it! After praying for so long that we would go back to Denmark, my prayer was about to be answered. The only problem was that in the past year, I had adjusted to living in Canada. My friends were all here and I had finally accepted that this was how my life was to be. Even though I was only 15 years old, I asked Mom and Bent if I could stay behind with Sander. Mom said she wasn’t sure how Sander would support me if I stayed. I told her I could get a full-time job and I would make it work. Mom shook her head no.
I had a farewell party for my close friends. It was hard to say goodbye, especially to my boyfriend, Nick, who had been there for me during this past year. We had planned to marry when I graduated high school. What was I to do without him? No matter how much I asked, Mom and Bent said I could not stay behind.
At first, I was dying to leave this country and I was told we have to stay here. Now, I don’t want to leave. Sander wants to go, but he has been told he has to stay. Life just seemed so messed up and unfair!
Bent drove Mom and Elisabeth to the airport. Sander also came so that he could see us off. I rode with Nick in his car. While Nick and I were driving to the airport, a song came on the radio called, “Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye.” I had heard this song so many times, but never thought anything of it. Now it came on the radio as I was about to part from Nick. It made us both cry. I cried all the way to the airport.
When we got to the airport and were about to board the plane I hugged my brother Sander and asked, “So, will you be coming to Denmark anytime soon?” Sander said, “You bet!” Then he pulled $10.00 out of his pocket and said, “See, I sold my black and white TV. So I am well on my way to save enough money for my plane ticket.” This just broke my heart. A ticket to Denmark
was about $800.00 and I knew he would need this money for food. I had to hurry and turn around so that he wouldn’t see me crying.
Since Bent didn’t care much for me, we never hugged or said anything to each other. I then said my goodbyes to Nick and hurried on the plane because my heart felt like it was being ripped into a million pieces. Just as I was about to go through the gate, I turned around one last time. I saw Sander standing there looking so lost. I thought to myself, “How could Mom just leave him there?” I comforted myself by thinking that maybe when I have a son of my own, I would understand. I will never forget this moment, for as long as I live.
The flight to Denmark seemed to take forever... It was 3 p.m., Canadian time, and most of the people on the plane were asleep. It was light outside and with each passing minute, we were coming closer to Denmark. I just couldn’t sleep! I was wondering if Nick was awake too and thinking about me. I was worried about Sander, wondering how he would get along and if he was sleeping in his car or if he would he find a friend to stay with?
As we were flying, it seemed like we were flying over an endless amount of water. All of a sudden I could see flat land. This could only mean one thing. We were heading towards Denmark. As I looked out the window, I thought to myself, somewhere down there my Dad is walking around. The thought of it made my heart pound. I wish I knew exactly where he was or how I would find him again. I knew I couldn’t ask Mom for help in finding him. I was hoping once I got to Denmark that I could look him up in the phone book.
Back in Denmark. Thursday, July 22, 1976
We finally landed in Copenhagen. I never thought I would see this place again. It was so strange to see that the airport looked just like it did five years ago when we left. Everyone around us spoke Danish. It seemed so bazaar to me and exciting all at the same time. I wanted to stay in Copenhagen since I knew this is where my dad lived. But, we were headed for a little town called Skive, which was at the other end of Denmark.
When we got to Skive everyone who lived there spoke a different dialect than the one I had learned as a child. I could not understand much of what anyone was saying.
Bent’s sister, Lilly, and her family had come from Sweden to greet us. Lilly showed us around the house. The house looked a lot smaller than I had imagined it to be from the pictures that I had seen.
When we got inside the house, it was old and smelled bad. I couldn’t believe this is what Bent had talked so much about. The smell of mold just reeked throughout the house. The house had no running hot water, no room to take a bath or a shower, and no toilet. It had a small, old-fashion kitchen, a small bedroom, and two small living rooms that were kind of hooked together. Upstairs there were two small bedrooms: one was used for storage and the other used to belong to Bent. It still had his things in it. It was as if I had just stepped into the past. His room still had his old poster of pin-up girls, dating back to the fifties. His walls also had guns and knives from World War II hanging on them. There was even a calendar left with the date on it when Bent had left some 20 years ago, at the age of 18. It was as if no one had stepped foot in this room since the day Bent had left for Canada. There was dust and cobwebs all over.
The basement was just as creepy. It was full of old bottles, dust, and spiderwebs. There was a bucket at the end of the basement where we were to go to the bathroom. It smelled so bad.
I went outside to look around. There was lots of land. It was at least one block that belonged to the house. There were flowers and different fruit trees on the land. As I walked around in the backyard I saw the biggest frog that I had ever seen. There were also lots of big ladybugs everywhere. I had never seen ladybugs that size. When I got back inside the house, Lilly said I looked pale. I felt sick. I asked if there was a place I could lay down. Lilly told me I could go to the room where her mom and dad used to sleep. I went in there to lie on the bed. I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted by everything I had been through. I soon fell asleep.
Friday, July 23, 1976
I had planned to call my dad at the first chance I got. I asked Lilly where the phone and the phone book were. She told me there wasn’t one. But, if I needed to make a phone call I could go into town and use the phone booth and if it was an emergency she was sure the neighbor would let me use their phone.
Lilly walked with Mom, Elisabeth, and I into town to show us where it was. It was about two and a half miles from where we lived. We bought some food and had to carry it back. I saw a phone booth but, since Mom was with us, calling Dad would have to wait.
In the evening we went to the old folks home to visit Bent’s dad. He was old and didn’t look like he was going to live much longer. He kept asking for his wife. He couldn’t seem to understand that she had died. I felt so bad for him.
Saturday, July 24, 1976
When I got up this morning I wanted to take a bath. Since there was no bathroom or hot running water I had to heat some water in a kettle. I had to stand by the kitchen sink and try not to spill water on the floor. It was very uncomfortable because there was a window right in front of the sink and there is no door to the kitchen. I had to make sure no one was coming and hoped no one would be passing by the window.
I tried to wait for another kettle of water to get hot so I could rinse the soap off, but it was too cold standing there in front of the window. It only got worse when it became fall because then the wind came through the cracks in the old window. This was how it was every time I had to try to wash up. By the time I got done, I never felt very clean.
The garbage man comes once a week here, just like it did in Canada. But Bent’s dad didn’t want to pay for the services and neither did Bent. So, Lilly showed us how to sort the garbage. The paper went into a pile to get burned later. Compost just goes in the backyard. The rest of the garbage we had to dig into the ground in the backyard. Next, she told us we had to empty the poop bucket that was in the basement. It had to be buried in the ground. It was one nasty job! I couldn’t imagine not having a toilet and that it was worth it not to spend money on getting one put in. What was Bent’s dad thinking? I guess he was extreme just like Bent when it came to spending money.
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