Thursday, September 2, 1976
The doctor called and said that Elisabeth is well enough to come home today. Mom took the train to Viborg and got her. When she had left, Bent, Lilly, and Agner went to the nursing home to pick up the things Mr. Ramsdahl had left there. While I was at the house alone, I called up the operator and asked her to forward me to the airport. Once I got a lady from the airport on the phone, I asked her if I would need my parents’ permission to go on the plane since I was only 15. The lady said, “All you need is your passport and a plane ticket.” All I had to do was find my passport. I looked around, but it was nowhere to be found. I am determined to get out of here.
I still had a few kroners left, so I went into town to buy some stamps. On the way, I passed two guys that looked about my age. They smiled at me and said, “Hi!” It was strange to have someone my age talk to me again. I got scared so I hurried on my way. After I had passed them, I felt bad. I wondered why I couldn’t just say hi back and not get so frightened.
When I got back, the next-door neighbor came over. She wanted to know if I could stay with her two daughters while she went to work. She told me she couldn’t pay me. I assured her that it was fine, I was just glad to get away from this house for a while.
When I got back to the house Elisabeth was home. Oh, it was good to see her again. She looked so thin and pale. She told me all about the hospital. It had been very traumatic for her. When it was time for bed, Elisabeth helped me make the bed on the sofa and slept with me. Even though it was hard to sleep there together I didn’t mind, I was just glad to have her back again.
Friday, September 3, 1976
In Nick’s letter today, he had written that on Friday, September 3rd he would write his last letter to me. Since I would be getting the place ticket soon, it was no use for him to write anymore because, by the time his letters got to me, I should be there. I thought, September 3, that is today. It made us wonder if this was to be the last letter. I hoped not because I looked forward to getting mail from him each day. I wished this pain I was feeling inside would go away. I feel so lost.
When Mom, Bent, Lilly, Agner, and Elisabeth had gone outside, I saw Mom’s purse. I took a chance and opened it to see if I could find my passport. As I was about to look through the purse I could hear footsteps at the front door. I hurried and put Mom’s purse back, and then I ran over and sat on the chair. It was Mom who was coming in. She saw me sitting in the chair and since I looked sad, she started to yell at me. Tears started to flow down my face. This only got her more upset, but no matter how hard I tried I could not stop crying. Her abuse is just too much to take. When mom was done yelling at me she took her purse and went back outside.
Later in the day, we all walked to the cemetery to visit Mr. Ramsdahl’s grave. When we got back, I came down with an allergic reaction. I don’t know what; all I know is that it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Mom called the doctor. When he came, he asked me to pull down my pants so that he could give me a shot in my behind. I felt uncomfortable with everyone sitting there in the living room right by me. When I pulled down my pants I hoped everyone would have the common decency to turn away as the doctor gave me the shot.
The shot the doctor had given me made me very tired. I was anxious to get the sofa ready so that I could go to sleep, but I couldn’t. Everyone was still up because Lilly and Bent were in a heated argument over the will of their father. I overheard Lilly say, “You were to have the house, and I was to have half the land that is in the back!” Bent insisted that he got all of it. He said it just wasn’t right to split up their father’s property. It was obvious that Bent was not going to budge. The argument ended with Agner saying, “It’s not worth fighting over, Lilly. Let him have the whole damn thing!” I could not believe that Bent was not willing to give his sister any of their inheritance.
Saturday, September 4, 1976
This morning Lilly and Agner went back to Sweden. I was glad they left because Agner always hugs me every chance he gets. It makes me feel so uncomfortable!
I thought about seeing if I could find my dad, but then I got scared that Mom would find out. I was sure that even if I did find him, he would not want me anyways.
Leave a Reply