Sunday, September 5, 1976
Mom told me that she has written up the letter that she wants Nick to sign and then she added that she wanted Nick’s dad and Nick’s uncle to sign it too. I could understand if she wanted his mom and dad to sign it, but not his uncle. I asked, “Why don’t you have his sister, his brother and all his aunts and uncle sign it too while you are at it?” Bent was sitting right there, he angrily responded, “Don’t get smart with your mom, you Snot-Nosed Brat!” I know he will be glad when I am gone, and I likewise will be more than happy to get out of here!
Monday, September 6, 1976
I woke up at 4:45 a.m. because it was hard to have Elisabeth sleep on top of me. Not to mention that stupid clock that makes sure to bong every half hour.
The mailman had nothing for me today. I wonder if Nick really had given up on me and if he was ever going to write to me again. Later in the day Mom, Bent, and Elisabeth went into town. I was left here to get the chores done. When they had gone I started to unpack my suitcase because I was trying to accept the fact that this is where I was going to be living for a while. But there is nowhere for me to put any of my things, so I put them back in my suitcase again. I cried really hard. I hate this place! I wonder if I am really stuck here until I am old enough to move out on my own. Would I really have to endure these conditions? Is there really no way out of here?
Tuesday, September 7, 1976
Then the mailman came today he had a letter from Nick. In the letter, he sounded really down because he didn’t know if I was ever going to come back. He also told me that he was losing weight over this whole thing.
We have been invited to go eat lunch at Bent’s aunt’s house. I have been to her house once when we first got here. She is a nice lady and makes sure always to have lots of home-baked goods for whenever people come over. I am not allowed to come with Mom, Bent, and Elisabeth. I have been told to stay behind and get the chores caught up.
I knew they would be gone for a long time. So, once they were out the door I started to write some letters. I wrote to Nick that I only have one piece of paper left and a few more stamps. When I was done with the letters, I stole some envelopes and some paper from Mom so that I could mail my letters and have some papers to keep writing on. Then I hurried into town to mail my letters.
When I got back I listened to the radio that Bent inherited from his dad. Bent has inherited quite a few things from his dad, including the house and all the land. When Mom found out that Bent was getting all the land, she asked him to sell part of it so that there would be money to fix up this place. Bent seems content with the way things are. I don’t think that will ever happen.
Later in the day when Elisabeth came back, I was asked by the neighbor lady if I would babysit her girls again. I told her I would love to. She doesn’t pay me. I don’t mind because it is nice to go to their house, and even nicer to be able to go on a real toilet. Elisabeth came with me, and together we had fun with the girls while we were there.
Wednesday, September 8, 1976
I walked three times up the hill today to see if the mailman was coming. Finally, the third time I saw him and I ran towards him. He was really late today, and when I got close to him I could tell he was a little tipsy. When he saw me he handed me one letter from Nick as he smiled and said, “I guess I was worth the wait.” I smiled and walked back to the house while I read my letter. Nick wrote that he is working a lot of overtime so that he can afford my plane ticket.
Thursday, September 9, 1976
Today when the mailman handed me a letter from Nick, he said, “That’s all I have.” I smiled and answered, “That’s all I want!” When I got back to the house I counted down to see how many days there are until November 15th. If all goes as planned I have 68 days left here.
Before I went to bed tonight I was in a lot of pain. I am starting to get another boil on my back. I sure hope it will go away soon!
Friday, September 10, 1976
Mom, Bent, and Elisabeth are off visiting with his family again, and again I am left here to do the chores. I am glad they are gone so I can have some privacy to write. When I was finished with the chores, I wrote a letter to Nick. It had to be short because I have only one stamp left. If I write one more page it will cost too much and I will not be able to send it off.
This evening when everyone was back, I got to thinking about my dad, and about how my brother and I had been ripped away from him. I also thought about the children who live around here. They all looked so carefree as they run around playing. It made me wonder why my life has to be so much harder than the average person. Since it doesn’t make any sense to me, it made me cry. I was worried that Mom or Bent would see it, so I kept my head held low. Luckily they never noticed I was crying, they only seem to notice me if I don’t get the chores done.
Saturday, September 11, 1976
In one of the letters I got from Nick today, there was a picture of his car. He calls it our car. I can’t wait to ride in it!
Just before Mom and Bent went into town today she handed me a list of chores that she has written down that she wants me to get done while they are gone. When they had left I started my daily letter. I realized I didn’t know when they would get back. I thought I better get the list done so that Mom won’t get upset with me when she gets back.
When Mom and Bent were back, Bent told me he had forgotten to buy something while he was in town. He asked me if I would go get it. To my surprise, he gave me 10 kroners for doing it. It is so out of his character, I guess it is because he wants me to have money for stamps so that I can keep writing to Nick. Now I have enough money for five more letters.
The boil in my back is hurting worse. It made it even harder to sleep with Elisabeth. I prayed hard that it would be gone by tomorrow.
Sunday, September 12, 1976
Bent has shown Mom that there is a Mormon church just up the street from where we live. This morning, Mom, Elisabeth, and I went to church. I have never seen such a small branch before. Not many members belong to it. There were two girls a little younger than me, but we never spoke to each other. There were two Elders here from America. They came up and talked to us. It was nice to be able to speak English again.
After we had been to the first meetings there was a break for lunch and then we were to have come back again for the next half. By now I was in a lot of pain because of the boil on my back. Mom called the doctor and when he saw the boil he said that we needed to go to the hospital immediately. It was raining outside and mom didn’t want to ride her bike, but I needed medical help so she didn’t have a choice.
When we got there, it was a lady doctor with really thick glasses who took a look at me. I was very worried when she was about to give me a shot and cut into me. After the shot, I told her I could still feel that she was cutting into me. I was glad she wasn’t afraid to give me another shot because she ended up giving me a total of five. By then I could still feel it, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been last time I was cut into. After she had cleaned it out and put in the gauze, she told me to see my own doctor tomorrow.
When I got back to the house, I helped out with the chores because I knew Mom would never agree to let me rest. When it was time for bed it was very painful to have Elisabeth sleep by me. I have no other alternative because there is no carpet on the floor. We are not allowed to sleep in Bent’s old room. Only Lilly and Agner are allowed to sleep up there when they come for a visit. The painkiller that I was given at the hospital soon wore off and it ended up being a very long night!
Monday, September 13, 1976
I got $20.00 in the mail today from Nick. Now I won’t have to steal paper and envelopes from Mom any longer. I was relieved because I was afraid she would find out I have been taking it from her.
When I went back to the doctor today he got the Q-tip with the alcohol and started to dig. When he was done he got the long tweezers and started to push new gauze back in. I can’t understand why he doesn’t numb me first!
I can’t believe how much pain I have to go through all because of that gross old couch!
Tuesday, September 14, 1976
I got the letter back today that Mom had asked Nick, his dad, and his uncle to sign. I am relieved to know that’s taken care of.
It’s been another rough night. Before I went to the doctor today I was told to pick up Elisabeth from school. When we get got to the doctor and he was done cleaning out the boil, I thought he was going to put a band-aid on it. But instead, he pushed in some more gauze. Ugh, how many times do I need to go through this?
From there we met Mom at the hairdresser like she had asked. Both Elisabeth and I thought we were going back to the house but instead, we went to a daycare center. Mom wants Elisabeth to start going there after school. I don’t understand why Elisabeth can’t just come home from school just like she always does. After mom was done signing her up she told Elisabeth that she had to stay there. Elisabeth got upset, but Mom didn’t care. I wanted to help Elisabeth, but I have no say in it.
When Mom and I got back to the house Mom started to read the newspaper. Then she said, “There is an ad that says Dr. Thompson needs someone to watch his kids and take care of his house while he and his wife go to work.” I told Mom it would be silly for me to apply for the job since I was going back to Canada in a few weeks. Mom told me that was not true, and that I was to lie when Mrs. Thompson asked how long I could stay on the job. Before I knew it, Mom had called her up and set up an appointment for an interview with her.
Mrs. Thompson said we could come right away. In the interview, Mrs. Thompson said that she wanted me to stay on for at least a year and that her last babysitter had quit on her after only being there for a few months. Then she added, “It’s just too hard on the kids to get used to a different babysitter!” I felt sick to my stomach because I knew I couldn’t commit to what she was asking. I looked over at Mom. Mom quickly responded, “Oh yes! She can do that.” I felt even sicker.
After Mrs. Thompson had talked to us for a while she said that she thought I was too young for the job. I was so relieved. It was as if a heavy weight had just been lifted off of me.
When we got back to the house Mrs. Thompson called us back to tell us that she had talked it over with her husband. Her husband remembered me from the night he had come and given me a shot in my behind and he wanted me for the job. Mom told her I would be there first thing in the morning.
When mom got off the phone I asked her why she would agree to this. Mom said, “It is time you learn it is a cruel world out there. That’s why there is a saying, Every man for himself! Just think now you will have money again, and you don’t have to worry about going to school.” I wasn’t worried about going to school because I figured if they haven’t come back for me by now they weren’t going to. As for the money, I don’t think it would be worth deceiving the Thompsons over. Even though Mom seemed so sure of it, it just didn’t seem right to me.
When Elisabeth got back from daycare she was very upset about being left there. Mom assured her that she would get used to it really soon. Elisabeth told me all about the daycare as we went to sleep. I felt so bad for her but there is nothing I can do about it.
Wednesday, September 15, 1976
When I got to Mrs. Thompson’s house, she introduced me to her two children. Her boy was a year old and her daughter was six. Then she showed me how she wanted her house cleaned. She also told me that I had to answer the phone when she and her husband were out and take messages for any sick patients who called. This made me really nervous since I can’t spell worth beans. Then she left for work.
Later in the day, Dr. Thompson came home sooner than expected, he told me I could leave for the day. From there I went and saw my own doctor. This time I was sure, he would put a band-aid on the sore when he was done cleaning it out. But no. After he had cleaned it out, he pushed in yet another piece of gauze. I asked him why he couldn’t just put a band-aid on it. He told me it was still too infected.
When I got back to the house I did the chores. When it was time for bed, Elisabeth told me all about the daycare again. I don’t think she will be getting used to it anytime soon.
Thursday, September 16, 1976
When I got back from working for the Thompson’s I saw that mom was wearing my dress. I have everything folded and neat in my suitcase. I could tell that she had rummaged through it. I asked Mom why she was wearing my dress. She very arrogantly said, “It’s just as much my dress as it is yours!” I reminded Mom that I had paid for that dress with my own money that I had earned while we lived in Canada.
Mom kept walking around as if she didn’t hear me. I was not going to back off! She had no right to take my dress, especially without asking me first! She finally took the dress off and threw it at me. I can’t understand why she has no respect for me. She would have flipped out if I had taken any of her clothes. Even if I asked her, she would never let me wear anything of hers.
Friday, September 17, 1976
Before I went to the babysitting job, I went to see the doctor again. This time after he had cleaned out my soar he FINALLY put a band-aid on it. The doctor said, “This time it should heal, but just to make sure, come back and see me on Monday.” I was glad to know the sore is getting better. Even though it’s been painful, I have not been as sick with a fever as I was the last time.
Saturday, September 18, 1976
Both Mr. and Mrs. Thompson are very kind to me. I feel bad about making them think that I am here to stay for a while. When I was done working for the Thompsons and got back to the house, there was a letter from Nick. In one of the letters, he sounds mad at me and wants me to write him every little detail of what I do each minute of the day. He also asked me to send him a copy of the letters that I send to my girlfriends in Canada. I wrote him back that I was upset with him for not trusting me. I told him since I could not yell at him I would write in all capital letters. I wanted to let him know I did not appreciate his letter.
Later in the day, I went out in the backyard to pick an apple. Bent has told me if I ever want an apple or a pear, I have to ask first. There are so many apples and most of them fall to the ground and go to waste, but I thought I better respect his request. I didn’t know where he was, so I asked Mom if I could pick an apple. She answered, “Sure.” As I was picking the apple, Bent saw me and came running while he yelled at me. “If you want to eat MY apples, you are to eat the ones on the ground! You are NEVER to pick the apples off the trees!” I guess he feels the apples on the trees are too good for me, but he doesn’t mind me eating the ones that are on the ground bruised, filled with worms and ants crawling all over them. If this was how he felt, I don’t know why he can’t just tell me. I don’t understand why he feels it is necessary to yell at me like this.
While we lived in Canada I was only allowed 6 oz of powdered milk a day, but now that we live in Denmark they don’t have powdered milk. At dinner time Mom drank two glasses of milk. I asked if I could have some too. Mom quickly responded, “No, the milk is almost all gone.”
After dinner, when Bent had left the table, I told Mom that where I babysit, the milkman delivers milk and other dairy products for free. Bent overheard what I was saying so he came running back into the living room and started to yell at me again. I told him there was no need for him to yell at me like this and the only reason I gave mom this information was so she wouldn’t have to carry milk from town. I just thought having the milkman come might lighten the load. This only made Bent angrier. He demanded I shut up and then he called me the usual names, “No-good-for-nothing! Snot- Nosed, Brat!” Mom never defended me. Instead, she started to kiss Bent as she smiled at him. Before I knew it, they were making out pretty heavily. I felt most uncomfortable. I am not allowed to leave the table unless I ask first. I asked if I could be excused from the table. Neither one of them answered me. Mom just looked at me and laughed.
I got up and left the table. When I put the food back into the fridge, I saw there were two more bottles of milk left. Plenty for me to have had some. I don’t understand why mom had lied to me, or why I can’t have any. When I had done the dishes I went to turn on the T.V. Bent then started to yell at me again, “Don’t you ever touch MY T.V! If you want it turned on you ask ME to turn it on for you! Do you understand that?” I wanted to walk over and spit him in the face, but of course, I didn’t and instead, I said, “Okay.”
Sunday, September 19, 1976
It’s Sunday and even though the L.D.S. church is right up the street, we didn’t go. I think Mom only wanted to go last week out of curiosity.
Later in the day, Elisabeth went to turn on the T.V., I didn’t want Elisabeth to be yelled at so I hurried and said, “You better ask Dad before you turn it on, or he will get upset with you.” Elisabeth looked puzzled. Then she said, “Dad doesn’t care if I turn on the T.V.” Bent was standing right there. He smiled at Elisabeth as she turned it on. Oh, it just makes me so mad how the rules are so different for me! But as usual, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want Bent to have an excuse to start in on me again.
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