Monday, May 29, 2006
Laila, Johny, and I went with Richard to his dad’s house to borrow his tiller. When we got there, his dad said he wouldn’t lend it to us after all. He said, “It shouldn’t cost that much to rent one.” I told him we were having a hard time making ends meet and that we were getting food from the church.
His dad looked at Richard and said, “It doesn’t look like Richard is starving to me!”
As we were about to leave, his dad told us he was getting married to a 29-year-old. Then he told me I was making the dress and the wedding cake. I was stunned. I didn’t say anything.
In hindsight, I wish I had said, “It shouldn’t cost that much to rent a wedding dress or to buy a cake.” If he ever brings it up again, I’ll know what to say.
Driving home, Richard didn’t say much. Now he was even more depressed than he had been before we went to see his dad.
Friday, June 9, 2006
Laila and I have been to Y.W. Girls’ camp all week. This time it was up in the mountains. We slept in cabins, with bunk beds, showers, and flushing toilets. It was so peaceful in the mountains! Beautiful birds were singing and flying around. We even saw a moose. It came close to us.
On the last night at camp, it was time to have Testimony meeting around the campfire. Everyone just sat there.
After we had sat there for a while, Laila got up and bore her testimony. She could hardly speak because she was crying so hard. She said, “You guys don’t ever leave the church. My sister has left us and the church. I miss her so much, and I’m worried about her!”
After Laila had borne her testimony, everyone was crying. Slowly, one person at a time, got up and talked about a family member they were worried about. This was the saddest testimony meeting I have ever been to at girls’ camp.
When we got back from camp, I asked Richard if Sarah had stopped by or called while we had been away. Richard said he hadn’t seen or heard from her.
Oh, how I worry about her!
Sunday, June 12, 2006
After church, when I got back from a meeting, Richard told me that Sarah had stopped by, and she had left just before I got back. I felt so bad I had missed her.
I sent Sarah an email letting her know I missed her and hoped she was doing okay.
Sunday, June 18, 2006, Father’s Day
After we had gone to bed and were asleep, I heard someone knocking on the front door. It was Sarah. She had just gotten off work and wanted to stop by to wish her dad a Happy Father’s Day. I let Sarah know that I would tell him in the morning that she had stopped by. Sarah stayed and visited with me for about 30 minutes. I hugged her and let her know I loved her before she left again.
After she had left, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I worry so much about her.
Monday, June 19, 2006
I cried all morning. My heart is so broken! Ever since Sarah left, I have had a hard time getting up in the morning. I have a hard time doing anything anymore. Even homeschooling has been suffering because I can’t seem to get it together.
Laila had an orthodontist appointment today. On the way home, I was pulled over by a policeman. He gave me a $40 ticket because our license plate had expired.
With Sarah being gone, my mind has been elsewhere. I had not noticed it had expired. When the policeman handed the ticket, he said, “I hope the rest of your day goes better.” I don’t understand why he couldn’t just have given me a warning. I am already having a hard time, and this didn’t make it any better!
When I got home, I told Richard I had gotten a ticket because our license plate had expired. He said he had gotten an email about it a while back but had forgotten to tell me. It frustrates me that he knew but never told me.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Beth called this week to tell me that Mom was sad about everything that happened at Christmas. Mom had asked Beth to ask me if Richard and I would go out to lunch with her and Arnie so that she could apologize.
I don’t recall Mom ever being able to apologize for anything.
I did not want to go to lunch with her. But I knew if I didn’t, Mom would continue to harass me one way or another. So, I agreed to go eat with her.
Richard, Mom, Arnie, and I met at a restaurant close to where we live. While eating, we talked about everyday things. No one addressed the elephant in the room.
Mom never did apologize. I never expected her to. Mom paid for the dinner. This was Mom’s way of thinking that she had made things right.
When we got home, Sarah called and demanded to use our car because her rusty old van no longer worked.
I let Sarah know she couldn’t drive our car because she wasn’t on our insurance. But I would be happy to drive her wherever she needed to go. Sarah got mad and hung up.
20 minutes later, Sarah called back and told me to come pick her up because she needed a ride to her friend’s house.
I went and picked her up. It’s hard to see her with gauges in her ears, piercings all over her face, and tattoos.
I wanted to tell her that instead of wasting her money on those things, she should be saving up for a car. But I know if I am to say anything, it will only make her mad. It’s hard for me to think that she is 18 and can’t seem to take care of herself.
During the week, I shampooed the room that Sarah used to live in. No matter how many times I have shampooed it, it is still gross!
I didn’t want Jared to return to his old room, being so disgusting. Richard was more than happy to go buy paint and new carpet. I have also sowed curtons to match. Jared’s room is starting to look nice. Now I am even more excited for him to come home from his mission.
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