Monday, March 8, 2021
I got an email saying that Richard had tried to postpone tomorrow’s mediation. Thank goodness it was denied!
Tuesday, March 9, 2021
The mediation will take place on Zoom at 9:00 am. Jared and his wife came over so that we could set up my laptop and have it ready for the meeting.
Before the mediation started, I was able to talk to my lawyer. He told me that he hadn’t had time to look into Richard’s accounts. So, if I wanted to, we could postpone the meeting.
I thought, what do you mean you haven’t had time?! You knew about this meeting since November! But I didn’t say anything.
While the lawyer listened, I talked it over with Jared and his wife. The divorce had taken a toll on me, and I didn’t know if I could keep raising money to continue to pay for the lawyer. Then my lawyer said, “If you want, we can go ahead with the divorce, and then we can address the accounts later.” It sounded good, so I agreed to it.
The mediation lasted 5 hours. By the time we were done, my head felt like mush!
I get to keep the house I paid 5 times over because of the loans he took out on it. It wasn’t addressed since I had signed my name thinking it was because we got the house refinanced. It was with my inheritance, which I had no way to prove, since he waited just long enough for the banks to no longer have records of it. Therefore, he claimed he had paid for it.
Since I got to keep the house, he got to keep the 401(k), plus whatever retirement income he would get when the time came. Something that was worth way more than my house.
I could have sold the house; we could have split the proceeds, and then he would have to share his 401(k). However, he lied and said he had consolidated all his 401 (k) into one. I had told my lawyer in advance, but he never looked into it. So even then I wouldn’t have gotten half of it.
I didn’t have it in me to find another place for Laila, Lily, and me to live. So agreed to it.
I would receive alimony for 8.5 years. The alimony was less than the money he had given me a month for groceries while we were still married.
My lawyer told me to agree to the amount, because I could go on disability.
During the mediation, Jared texted his dad and said, “You can’t do this to mom.” But he never cared.
After the divorce, I looked into getting disability. I was denied because I had not worked enough hours outside the home. The hours I babysat during our marriage didn’t count, since the taxes were filed under Richard’s business.
A few months after the divorce was finalized, I called my lawyer and asked him when he would look into Richard’s various bank accounts. His reply. “It’s too late now; we should have done that before the divorce was finalized. What did you hope to find? You got the house, you don’t owe him the money that he claimed, you should be happy and move on with your life.”
Jared called shortly after and asked me when my lawyer would look into the accounts. I told him what my lawyer had told me. Jared said that can’t be right, so he called and talked to him. He was told the same thing. Then I was charged for both phone calls.
Life’s not fair is an understatement!
Whenever I get down about how the mediation went, I remind myself I still have 3 of my kids, their spouses, and all of my grandkids in my life. Something that no amount of money can replace.
I no longer believe in David and Goliath. However, I do believe that Heavenly Father must have his reasons. Reasons I don’t understand, and I still believe He’s watching over me.
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