Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Laila, Johny, and I have been helping our Stake get ready for the trek. It’s only for the youth in our stake who are 12-18.
I have been called to serve on the food committee on the trek. Johny does not want to be left home alone again. He will be turning 12 in 5 months, so he is not allowed to go on the trek. I have asked if he could serve on the food committee with me. I was told no. I don’t understand why. I hate to have to leave him at home.
Laila is going, so she has been given a pamphlet of things she needs to do to prepare for the trek.
I feel bad because Johny is still hoping they will let him come, so he is doing all the requirements.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Sarah stopped by. She had a box of chocolates for me and said it was for my birthday, which was coming up. She also gave me a bag of nuts for her dad’s upcoming birthday. She also gave Laila a box of her favorite cookies and Johny a bag of cereal. Sarah stayed and watched a movie with us. It was so nice to have her home and spend some time with her.
Saturday, July 1, 2006
Johny has completed all the requirements for the trek on his own. Since it’s Fast Sunday tomorrow, Johny is fasting and praying that he will be allowed to come with me and help me on the trek. Johny asked me to fast with him so that his prayer would be answered.
Sunday, July 2, 2006
When I got to church, I talked to the lady in our ward who oversees the food committee. I told her that Johny had fasted and completed all the requirements. She knows Johny and that he is a hard worker and doesn’t want to be left home alone. But she still said no to him coming with me. It breaks my heart for Johny.
I wanted to tell her that I didn’t want to leave him home alone so I wouldn’t be going after all. But since my Patriarchal blessing said that if I were obedient and went above and beyond in my callings, I would be blessed. If anyone needed blessings, it was me, so I didn’t say anything.
Wednesday, July 5, 2006
Laila and I went on the trek. I didn’t think it would be hard to be on the food committee. But it was! We had to get up at 5:00 am so that we could have the food ready for the youth. The food committee couldn’t go to bed till 11:00 pm because of all the work there was to do.
Everyone who was participating in the trek has been asked to wear pioneer clothes.
I sewed a blue pioneer dress and a bonnet to go with it.
Thursday, July 6, 2006
I have a hard time going to the bathroom when I am not home. While I was there, I got constipated. There was a nurse. I knew her because she was in my ward. I asked her if she had anything to help me to go to the bathroom. She gave me a few drops of Visine in a cup of water. I said, “But those are eye drops.” She told me Visine was also good for helping with constipation. Since she was a nurse, I trusted her.
I woke up in the middle of the night because my heart was beating funny. I was scared. I thought it was because I had been out in the heat all day. I didn’t know it was from the Visine.
Friday, July 7, 2006 – My 46th Birthday
During the day, I felt sick and was desperate to lie down. But I didn’t want the other people on the committee to do my share of work, so I kept going.
My stomach hurt worse than it had before. The nurse asked if the Visine had helped. I told her no, if anything, I feel worse. Then she gave me HALF the bottle of Visine in a cup of water and told me to hurry and swallow it, so I did. Then she said, “There, that ought to get you to go to the bathroom!”
I woke up in the middle of the night because my heart was acting stranger than it had the night before. I felt so sick and thought I was going to die. I didn’t let anyone know since I thought I might be overreacting. Instead, I just lay there and tried to go back to sleep.
Saturday, July 8, 2006
In the morning, I felt even sicker than I had before. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. Since I didn’t want to be a burden, I didn’t let it show. It took everything I had in me to help feed everyone, and then I helped pack up so we could go home.
As soon as I got home, I lay down. I wanted to go to the hospital, but again I thought I was overreacting. I thought if I got some rest, I would get better in no time.
Sunday, July 9, 2006
All night, my heart was pumping strangely. I was too sick to go to church. While my family was at church, I wondered if it was the Visine that had me feeling so sick. When Richard got home from chruch he called poison control.
When he got off the phone, he said, “Visine is only for eyes.” If you drank it, it could mess with your heartbeat. He told me to get some rest and that I should feel better soon.
I still felt like I was going to die and that I needed to go to the hospital, but poison control said to rest, that’s what I would do.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
It’s been more than two weeks since I drank the Visine. I am still not all better. I went online to learn more about the effects of drinking Visine.
I was alarmed to read “When consumed by mouth, it can result in serious toxicity, slow heart rate, seizures, coma, and even death. If digested, seek immediate medical attention.”
“Even small amounts can affect the nervous system, cardiovascular system, low blood pressure, slow heart rate, loss of consciousness, and can lead to life-threatening complications.”
That would explain why I had been feeling so sick, and why my heart was pumping weirdly. When I thought about how much Visine the nurse had given me, it seemed that it was a miracle that I was still alive!
I figured it was too late to go to the doctor. If the Vicine hadn’t killed me by now, I would be okay.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
When I got to church today, I found the lady who had given me the Visine to let her know how sick it had made. She seemed like she didn’t believe me. I told her to read up on it. Hopefully, she will think twice before giving it to someone else!
Since Richard and I are getting food from the church, we have been asked to go to a class called “Self-Reliance.” It’s a 6-week course. Richard and I already took the classes a while back. I felt bad about having to take them again.
The teacher talked about making do with what you have to avoid getting into debt. It makes me want to scream! She also talked about prayer. She said that the Lord answers all “Righteous and Earnest prayers.”
The lesson bothered me! Are my prayers not earnest or righteous?! Is that why they are not being answered?
To top it off, when we got home from church, our oven stopped working.
Monday, July 31, 2006
I hardly slept last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about the lesson. My prayers seem to bounce off the walls, and no one is listening. I try to do what is right, yet it all seems to be in vain. Maybe my blessings are reserved for the life hereafter.
Friday, August 4, 2006
I got an email from Sarah saying that she had moved to Montana with 2 guys she had met online. She ended her email with, “Even though you guys might not love me anymore, I hope that you know that I still love you.”
Now I am even more worried about her than I was before.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
All month, I have been working with Richard since his manager needed someone to answer the phones. It was supposed to be temporary, but the lady who used to work there isn’t coming back.
It is hard on Laila and Johny when I am gone all day. I have asked them if they want to return to public school, but they have both said no.
It’s hard on me too. I leave them a list of things to do and what they are to work on while I am gone. When I get home in the evenings, we go over their schoolwork.
I have to look on the bright side. I am making money so that we can afford gas when we pick up Jared from his mission, and for other necessities.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Jared’s room is all finished. It has fresh paint on the walls and trim. The carpet has been installed, and I have finished sewing the curtains. It also has a ceiling installed. All that’s missing is Jared.
Leave a Reply