Back in Canada Chapter 25

Sunday, October 31, 1976

Mom never used to go to church very much, but she seems to be taking a liking to the small branch here in Skive.

November 1-15, 1976

I spent the next two weeks doing chores. Dropping Elisabeth off at school, picking her up, and taking care of her while Mom was at work and teaching night school.

Monday, November 15, 1976

A few days ago, Grandma came from Copenhagen to help watch Elisabeth. It was nice to see Grandma again.

When it was finally time for me to leave for Canada, I said goodbye to Mom, Grandma, and Elisabeth. It was a lot harder to leave than I thought it would be. Mom has been nicer to me since Bent went back to Canada. I guess because she was hoping that I would change my mind about leaving.

I hated to have to say goodbye to Elisabeth. She asked me when she would see me again. Her question ripped my heart to pieces. I held her tight, and I told her I didn’t know.

I took the bus to Karup airport and got on the plane. It was hard not to cry while I traveled. I hated not knowing when I would see Elisabeth again.

I flew to Copenhagen, then got on a larger plane to London. When I got to the London Airport, I was afraid because there were a lot of people walking around and so many terminals.

I found an information booth and showed the lady who was there my plane ticket. She helped me find the right terminal. She also explained to me where to locate my suitcase and how to get to the next plane. My heart was pounding. I was so scared!

A big black man came over and said he would help me. I was sure he was there to kidnap me. I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t want his help. Instead, I went with him to find my suitcase.

As he was carrying my suitcase for me, I thought to myself, “That’s it! Now he is leaving with both me and my suitcase.” 

While we were walking down a long, skinny hallway, my alarm clock went off. The man threw my suitcase. Then he laid on the ground and covered his head as he yelled, “Do you have a bomb in there?!”

I was embarrassed. The man said, “Oh, okay.” He, too, seemed embarrassed over how he had reacted. He hurried, got up, picked up my suitcase, and continued helping me get it to the right destination.

I thanked him for his help, and we parted. I was grateful he had helped me, and I felt bad for being so sure he was there to kidnap me.

I had to wait five hours for my next flight. I wanted to leave the airport and see what London was like, but I was afraid I would get lost. I sat down right next to where I needed to be so I would be ready to board the plane when it was time.

I also thought about walking around to see the stores in the airport, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to find my way back. As I waited, I felt like the clock was going backwards. It was finally time to board the plane, and I was off to Canada!

When I arrived in Canada, it was late in the evening. I was surprised to see that Nick was there by himself to pick me up. I thought his family would be there too.

Nick got my suitcase and loaded it into his car. It was strange to be back in Canada and to see all those big cars driving on the wide roads.

I had sent my bedding and other things to Canada with Bent. I asked Nick if he had dropped off my things. Nick had not seen or heard from Bent, but told me I could borrow some blankets and a pillow from his parents.

When I got to Nick’s house, his family was getting ready for bed. Nick and his dad showed me the room that they had made for me. It was beautiful!

Right next to my bedroom, they had installed my very own toilet with a shower! We all said good night, and everyone went to bed.

When I went into my room, I was overwhelmed that this family would make me such a beautiful room and have me stay with them. I couldn’t wait to take a shower in the morning. It was all so exciting!

Wednesday, November 17, 1976

I couldn’t talk to Nick’s mom; she spoke Italian to me. I did my best to try to understand what she was saying. But honestly, I couldn’t understand a word!

Nick helped us communicate by translating. She showed me where the laundry room was and where I could put my dirty clothes. I offered to do the family’s laundry if she would show me how to use the washing machine.

Nick said, “Just leave your laundry here. My mom doesn’t even let Teresa touch the machine” (Teresa is Nick’s sister; she is my age). I said, “But I feel guilty having her wash my clothes!”  Nick responded, “Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind.”

A little later, Nick and I went to visit Sander. He lived in a rented house that he shared with a bunch of other boys. It was quite a mess! Sander came out of his room. He seemed happy to see me.

I told him Bent still had my stuff, and then I asked him if he would go with me to pick it up because Nick had to go to work. Sander drove me to Bent’s house.

When we got there, we could see that all the lights were on. But no one answered. Bent is afraid of wasting electricity, so we knew he had to be there.  He just wouldn’t answer the door.

Sander drove me back to Nick’s house. Before he dropped me off, he asked if I had any money. I asked Sander if he was working. He admitted to me that he had quit school and found a full-time job, but he still wanted money. I told him I didn’t have a job, and I would need what little I had. Sander promised to pay me back. So I “loaned” him $3.00. It didn’t take me long to learn that the word “lend” to Sander meant a permanent loan.        

Friday, November 19, 1976

Mom had bought me some new underwear just before I left Denmark. I wanted to keep them nice for as long as possible. I had saved the underwear that I had received while I was in the hospital in Denmark for when I had my period. They were disposable underwear. I thought, if I used the hospital underwear, I wouldn’t ruin my nice ones. I happened to have my period a couple of days after arriving in Canada

As planned, I used the underwear I had been given from the hospital. Since Nick didn’t live far from Bent, I thought the garbage man came the same day here as he did when I lived on William Street. Since I just assumed the garbage man would come the same day, I put out my garbage along with the dirty underwear.

I shoved the dirty underwear to the very bottom because I didn’t want anyone to see them.

As Nick’s parents, Nick, his brother Cosmos, his sister Teresa, and I were sitting at the table about to eat dinner, Nick’s mom started yelling at me. I wanted to know what I had done and why she was so upset with me.

Nick explained to me that I had put the garbage out on the wrong day. I asked him why she had to yell. All she had to do was tell me, then next week I would make sure to put the garbage out on the right day.

Nick said, “She went through your garbage and found your dirty underwear. She wants to know why you are so lazy and didn’t just wash them instead of throwing them out.”

I was mortified! I wanted to die of embarrassment! To make matters worse, in front of everyone, she pulled out my dirty underwear that she had taken out of the garbage and put them on the table. Everyone looked on with horror.

I explained to Nick that I had received the underwear free from the hospital, and they were meant to be disposable underwear, but I had washed them and saved them for the next time I had my period.

We continued with our dinner. I was sure everyone had lost their appetite. I know for sure I had!

His mom still wouldn’t let the subject go. All through dinner, she kept yelling at me in Italian and called upon “Mother Mary and Jesus Christ!”

I pleaded with Nick to help her understand that those underware were meant to be disposable! I had saved them to use when I had my period, and I had brought some new ones with me!

Nick just ignored me and never translated a single word I had said. It didn’t seem to matter what I said because everyone just ignored me. I felt like a crazy lady sitting among his family. It was the worst dinner I had ever sat through in my life!

Saturday, November 20, 1976

Each Saturday, the family dusted everything and cleaned the bathroom. Nick’s mom told me I had to clean the downstairs bathroom. She showed me how she wanted it done. I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I cleaned it as best I could!

When I was done, she came downstairs to inspect the job. It was clean, and I felt good. Then she went down on the floor to stick her head as far as she could behind the toilet.

Then she showed me there was a dirty spot behind it. I couldn’t believe she could even see that far! She then started yelling at me and called upon Mother Mary and Jesus Christ. When she was done rating to them about me, she told me that I would make a lousy wife because I was such a pig!

After that, I was nervous every Saturday when it was time to clean the toilet, but I did my best to make sure there was not a speck on the toilet or around it!

Monday, November 22, 1976

I got a letter from Mom. It sounded like she and Elisabeth have been crying a lot since I left. Mom wants to know what it is like living here. I didn’t want Mom to worry, so I wrote to her that they’re treating me like family.

Mom wanted to know if I ever see Sander. She told me to ask him to write her. I don’t see him very often, and when I do, he always asks for money. The next time I saw him, he said he would write Mom and come to see me soon. I thought he meant it, but he never seemed to get around to it.

I called my old friend Mary to see how she was doing. She was surprised to hear that I was back in Canada. It was good to talk to her again!

When Nick found out that I had called her, he got upset with me. He told me I was never to talk to her again!

She was my best friend, so I asked him why. He told me that she was nothing but a troublemaker and a whore. Mary was the sweetest girl you could ever meet! I think he felt threatened by her because I cared a lot about her. I was sad that I couldn’t talk to her again. I didn’t want to cause any more trouble, so I never called her again.

Tuesday, November 30, 1976

I should be starting school, but I am too scared. I have missed about three months of the school year. I have such a hard time going to school as it is. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like trying to catch up on the work I have missed so far. 

I was interested in cutting hair, so Nick went with me to a beauty school. There, I was informed that I would have to complete ninth and tenth grade before I could attend their school. I was devastated to hear that.

I spent my days waiting for Nick to come home from high school, only to see him leave again for work.

On the weekend, he played in a band. I went along, but it was so boring sitting there watching everyone else dance while I waited for Nick and his band to be done playing for the night.

The first few days were exciting living here, and his family was nice to me, but ever since Nick’s mom went through my garbage, it feels awkward being here.

It is hard to communicate with his mom, so I stay in my room. Ironically, I wanted my own room and a real toilet and shower. Now I have it, but I am confined to it all day because I’m trying as much as possible to avoid Nick’s mom.

Nick’s mom, Mrs. Petruzzelli, doesn’t want my help with the dishes. I feel bad that she always does them. Teresa dries and puts them away.

One evening, when the family was out, I thought I would surprise her by doing them for her. There were a lot of dishes, and I thought she would be happy when she got home to see they were all done.

When I finished the dishes, I went back to my room. When Nick came home from work, he came downstairs to see how I was doing.

As we were talking, his family came home. I could hear his mom yelling upstairs. I asked Nick what on earth she was so upset about. Nick told me not to worry about it. I could hear her banging pots and pans, so I went upstairs to see what she was doing.

She kept yelling, “Mother Mary, and Jesus Christ!” over and over again. It was all in Italian, so I didn’t understand most of what she was saying, but I could understand “Mother Mary and Jesus Christ.”

She was pulling out all the dishes I had done. I asked, “Is everything all right?” Nick’s brother, Cosmo, said, “Don’t worry about it.” I realized she was upset that I had done the dishes.

I told Nick, “Please tell her I didn’t mean to upset her! I just wanted to help out.” Cosmo said, “My mother has had a hard life, so she gets upset over the strangest things. Don’t take it personally.” I asked what she was saying about me. Nick told me to go downstairs.

I felt bad about the whole thing. In broken English, his dad told me he knew I had meant well and not to worry about it.

Later in the evening, Cosmo came downstairs and told me his mom feels no one can do the dishes as well as she can, and that I was never to think I was better than her. I assured Cosmo that was not why I had done the dishes. Cosmo said, “I know my mom is just a little delicate.” I wanted to say, “You mean nuts!” From then on, I thought I better stay out of her way.

Wednesday, December 1, 1976

Nick’s mom stopped doing my laundry. Since I don’t have much money, I can’t afford to take them to the Laundry mat, so I began to wash them by hand. When I was about to wash the clothes, I noticed she had hidden the laundry soap.

From then on, while I lived here, I washed my clothes by hand without soap since I could not afford to buy my own. She has also taken my toothpaste away. I don’t want to make trouble; I will just have to buy my own toothpaste when I get some money.

I began sneaking a dab of toothpaste from upstairs to brush my teeth when no one was home.

Saturday, December 4, 1976

It is so uncomfortable being here! It’s Saturday, and everyone is home from school and work.

This morning, Mrs. Petruzzelli started to yell again. It was about the dishes. She was upset that I never helped wash them. Then Nick ordered me to go help. I was too scared to go upstairs because of the way she was yelling. It was as if she was possessed. I had never heard anyone yell quite like that before!

Monday, December 6, 1976

In the evening, after Nick had gone to work, his mom, dad, brother, and sister went to visit the family they have here. I was so glad to have the house all to myself!

I went upstairs and turned on the radio. I found some Christmas music, so I started to dance. As I was dancing, I started to jump around and, out of nowhere, my shoe flew off and right into a statue they had standing on a shelf.

I was horrified to see it was broken! I ran to get some glue so that I could put it back together. I put it back on the shelf and hoped no one would find out, especially Nick’s mom!                                   

Tuesday, December 7, 1976

In the evening, Mrs. Petruzzelli started to yell again. I was so sure she noticed the statue had been broken. I asked Nick what I had done this time. He told me not to assume that every time she yelled, it was about me.

I asked Cosmo to translate because I knew he would tell me. He told me his mom said I had gone into her room and stolen some of her pads. I assured Cosmo that I would never do that! I told him I don’t like pads, and then I showed him that I had my own tampons that I used. I asked him to please translate this to her.

His dad was standing close by and seemed to believe me. He got mad at her. She ended up sleeping on the couch. I felt bad about them getting into a fight, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Thursday, December 9, 1976

I got a Christmas card from Mom. It was a picture of our “family.” This was the only family picture ever taken professionally.

It was only done because Mom had a free coupon. It was taken right before Mom, Elisabeth, and I went back to Denmark to live in Bent’s house.

I thought it was such an ironic picture because here we were, all split up, living in different places.

Friday, December 10, 1976

I had a little transistor radio that I kept in my room. While listening, I heard an announcement that if I heard the sound of a giant zipper, I could call the station. The first caller would win a Glen Campbell’s record.

I loved his music. I had nothing else to do, so I grabbed the phone. I held the phone in one hand and the radio in the other. I kept listening, hoping I would be the first caller.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the giant zipper sound came on. I hurried and called the number. To my surprise, I was the first one to call in. It was so exciting!

I was live on the radio. I was told they would send the record to me, and it should be arriving within the next few days.

Tuesday, December 14, 1976

My Glen Campbell record arrived today!  I was excited to listen to it. When I was alone, I went upstairs and put it on their record player so I could listen to it. It was such a nice moment, I felt like it had been sent from Heavenly Father to help cheer me up in this dark time. Despite everything that was happening to me, I felt like He wanted me to know that He was aware of me!

Saturday, December 18, 1976

I went with Nick to see his band perform at a banquet. As I sat and watched them, I noticed my old friend, Mary, was there. I was excited to see her! I ran into the hall to hug her. I was hoping Nick wouldn’t find out I was talking to her. She asked me how I was doing and if I was happy. I wanted to cry, but instead, I smiled and said, “Oh, yes, I am so happy!” She told me she served food at banquets on weekends to earn some money. 

After we had talked for a few minutes, I could hear the band had stopped playing. Nick came running into the hall where we were. He was furious with me!

I told Mary I’d better go. When we got home, he asked me what I was thinking, talking to that whore. I told him not to call her names, and before I knew it, he was hitting me.

I couldn’t believe he had struck me. The next day, I asked him why he had hit me and if he thought it was okay. He told me once in a while his dad hit his mom, and it was a man’s right to hit a woman when she got out of line.

His dad was such a nice guy. I couldn’t imagine him hitting his wife. I told Nick that we could talk about things and that he was never to hit me again. But Nick was very arrogant about it and told me that as long as I didn’t step out of line, then he wouldn’t have to hit me.

Wednesday, December 22, 1976

With the money Nick earns from his band, he is expected to give it all to his mom to help out. Nick always takes some of the money before he gives the rest to his mom.

Today he took me to the store so I could pick out a Christmas present for myself. I was scared his mom would find out. While we were at the store, I found a beautiful dress. I felt bad I can’t buy Nick anything since I didn’t have any money.

Thursday, December 23, 1976

I finally got a hold of Bent, so I could get my things. He didn’t say much to me. He just handed me my things and shut the door. It was clear he was glad to be rid of me.

I got a letter from Mom saying that this would be her worst Christmas ever. Sander, Bent, and I are here in Canada. She was there in Denmark alone with Elisabeth and Grandma. I thought it was strange that Bent, Sander, and I are here in the same town, and yet we are not even going to be spending Christmas together.

I began to wonder why Bent had come back to live in Canada. Why was he living here, while he was perfectly content for Mom and Elisabeth to live in Denmark?  

Bent didn’t have a job here. He never did. He worked only when he felt like it, doing odd jobs.

I found out years later that while Sander and I lived with him in Canada, Bent was living on the childsupport my dad had been ordered to pay my mom.

Mom and Bent were living separate lives. I also wondered whether Bent would ever return to Denmark to live again.

Cosmo’s girlfriend is so kind. She came over and gave me a beautiful shirt for Christmas. It was the prettiest shirt I had ever seen! I thanked her for it. I felt bad because I couldn’t buy her anything. I sure hope she understands.

I was so happy to have this new shirt since I hardly have any clothes. The shirt was 100% polyester. I wanted it to look perfect for Christmas, so when no one was home, I borrowed Mrs. Petruzzelli’s iron and started to iron it.

To my horror, I watched the shirt melt into the iron. When I lifted the iron, the shirt had a big black hole in the middle. The iron was covered in this black-looking plastic.

I couldn’t believe I finally got a new shirt, and then I went and did such a stupid thing! I never even got to wear it.

I could hear Bent in my mind telling me how stupid I was, and he wasn’t even here!

I did all I could to scrub the iron clean. Since the iron was hot, the more I scrubbed it, the more the burnt plastic spread. I was so nervous that Nick’s mom would find out I had used her iron without asking, and then on top of that, had burnt my shirt on it.

As the iron cooled, I could peel the burnt parts off. Oh, was I ever relieved!