Back to School Chapter 26

Friday, December 24, 1976

I got a letter from Mom. She had sent me $25.00 for Christmas. I am grateful for the much-needed money. I felt bad I had not gotten it in time to buy anyone anything for Christmas. Then I realized I would need this money to buy personal products for myself.

Saturday, December 25, 1976

Christmas was very depressing. I didn’t come upstairs when the family was opening their presents. Besides, there were no presents for me under the tree and no one invited me to come and celebrate with them. As I sat in my room, I thought about Mom, Elisabeth, and Grandma and wondered how their Christmas had gone.

Friday, December 31, 1976

Nick and his band played for a club for a New Year’s Eve party. Cosmo helps out with the lighting effects, so he was there too. It’s quite impressive to see the lights he has built so that there will be special effects in the background. The band played from 9:00 p.m. until 3:00 a.m. It was kind of fun because I was able to dance with Cosmo when he wasn’t fiddling with the lights. When the dance was over, I helped them carry all their instruments to the cars. It always takes a long time to get it set up and pulled down again. I was very tired when I got to my room and went straight to sleep.

Monday, January 3, 1977

I am sick of being cooped up in this room all day with nothing to do!  I called my old school, Britannia, to see how to get enrolled. They told me I could not come back to Britannia, and that I should call up Templeton High School

 because it was closer to where I lived. I was disappointed I couldn’t go to the same school as Nick. It would have been easy for me to get a ride to and from school every day. It’s about a four-mile walk to Templeton so I asked Teresa if she would mind waking me up in the morning so I could get a ride with her and her friends to school. She said, “Yes, that would be fine.” I am kind of scared to go back to school, but it seems a whole lot better option than sitting here in this room all day.

Tuesday, January 4, 1977

I woke up at 10:00 a.m. I was disappointed in Teresa because she never woke me up like she had promised. We used to be such good friends before I moved in, but now she never talks to me. I called Sander to ask him if he would drive me to school. He said he would be over in about 15 minutes. I got ready to go. While I waited for him, I wrote Mom a letter. I get a letter from Mom about once a week and I try to answer her letters as soon as I get them because she worries a lot about Sander and I. I wrote her that we were fine, just like I always did. As I was writing to Mom I wondered if Sander would ever show up, or if I would be able to sign up for school today since it had gotten so late in the day.  After I had been waiting for two hours he finally came. When I got to the school they told me I could start the next semester which was the following month, February 7. It seemed like a long time to wait. Sander drove me back to Nick’s house and then quickly left for work.

Sunday, January 9, 1977

It’s Cosmo’s 18^th birthday today. It’s kind of sad because he never got a cake or any presents. The only reason I found out it was his birthday was because his girlfriend gave him a present. Otherwise, no one acknowledged him. I don’t understand this family.

Monday, January 10, 1977

I got a letter from Mom today. She says that the year 1976 has been the hardest year she has ever had to live through. It has been a very cold and tough winter in Denmark, and hard for her to get to and from work on her bike in the awful weather. Mom said she and Elisabeth cry a lot. They are both sad that we had to leave Canada

 and they are stuck in that gross house. Mom still worries about Sander and me. Once again I wrote back that we are doing just fine. In my letter, I asked if and when Elisabeth and Mom were coming back to Canada and if Bent was going to sell the house in Denmark. I could tell he had no intention of selling the house he is living in, here in Canada.

Thursday, January 13, 1977

Nick’s mom always acts nice toward me when her husband is here. Mr. Petruzzellilikes me and he gets upset when she is mean to me.

Sander came over to see how I am doing. I showed him the letters that I had received from Mom and Elisabeth. As Sander was looking at the letters he started to cry. I knew, even though he doesn’t write to them, he misses them a lot. I realize he has a lot of anger because he had been left behind in Canada

. After Sander had read the letters, he left. Even though he didn’t stay long, I was glad he had stopped by to see me.

Friday, January 14, 1977

I got two letters from Mom and Elisabeth. In Elisabeth’s letter, she wrote, “I don’t know how you can live without me, because I sure can’t live without you.” It made me cry because I missed her so much, more than I had ever imagined I could! I wrote Elisabeth back and assured her that I missed her just as much as she missed me.

Saturday, January 15, 1977

Nick and his drummer, Fred, have been talking about going to a place called Bellingham located in Seattle. It’s a store where they sell cheap clothing, across the U.S. border. Fred came over today and we all left for Seattle. It only took about an hour and a half to get there. Nick bought himself a pair of pants and a pair for me too. While we were in Seattle we went to an all-you-can-eat restaurant, a smorgasbord. It was so much fun.

When we got back to Nick’s house, Teresa asked if we wanted to go to a disco place where we can dance and eat. Teresa gets an allowance from her parents. She said that she would pay for a pizza if we went with her. We went and ate pizza and danced. It was a lot of fun. There was a guy there Teresa liked. I guess that is why it was so important for her to go there tonight.

Monday, January 17, 1977

Man, I can’t wait for school to start! I am so bored sitting around in my room, doing nothing all day. I washed my laundry and went to hang it outside, just like I have been doing these past few months. Nick’s mom started yelling at me because she didn’t think I am hanging my laundry right. What does she care? It’s my laundry! I think she must feel better about herself by putting me down, why else would she yell so much, and over such stupid things? 

Monday, February 7, 1977

I had my first day of school today! I used my alarm clock and got up early enough to walk there. I talked to the school counselor, he said if I worked hard this semester he would let me start 10th grade next year and I wouldn’t have to make up any of the half-year that I missed in grade nine. I sure hope I can do it!

As I walked the halls I saw Mary and she looked so nice. When she saw me she came running over to hug me. I asked her what she was doing at this school. She told me she had transferred last year because this was a much nicer school. She asked me if I wanted to come be with her and her friends. Oh, how I wanted to, but I was afraid to talk to her. I told her I had to get going. She said, “Okay maybe some other time.” As I walked away I almost started to cry. Mary had always been so good to me and so had her family. I thought of the time we had jumped on her bed and sang our hearts out to the song called “Going to the Chapel.” We both sang as loud as we could while we danced and held a hairbrush in our hand for a microphone. At the time it seemed like nothing could ever tear us apart.  I wanted to run after Mary and yell, “Wait for me!” But I was afraid if Nick’s sister, Teresa saw us together she would tell her brother. Oh, how I envied Mary. She seemed to have everything I ever wanted, and she was so willing to share it with me. “My dear Mary, I wonder if you will ever know how much you meant to me.”

When I got back from school there was mail for me from Mom and her half-brother, Eli. Uncle Eli sent me an invitation to my cousin Colleen’s wedding in Utah. I wish I could go there. I looked at her picture. Colleen looked so grown up! I hadn’t seen her since she and her family came to visit us a few years ago while we lived together in Canada.

Mom wrote Bent was back in Denmark. He was there because he had to see a lawyer with his sister, Lilly, and her husband, Agner because they are not happy about Bent not sharing what their parents left behind.  I can’t see why Bent doesn’t just sell that old house and all the land that goes with it and then give half to his only sister. I wondered how it would turn out.    

Saturday, February 12, 1977

I went over to see how Sander was doing. He has found himself a cat. He seemed so happy about it. I am glad he loves it, but now I can’t go see him unless I stay outside, because I get so sick when I am near it. I can’t breathe and my eyes swell up so badly that I can’t see.

Monday, February 14, 1977

I got a letter this week from Mom saying, since she and Elisabeth missed us so terribly, they are planning to come and visit this summer. Mom wanted to know if I knew of a place they could stay while they are here.  I don’t know why she just can’t stay in the house where we used to live, on William Street. I wondered if Bent had told Mom she couldn’t stay there while she visits here. I am excited to know they are planning to come and stay for the whole summer just to be with Sander and me. However, I wondered if Sander would be able to see them very much since he works full-time and doesn’t have any vacation time. I am so excited to see Mom and Elisabeth again!

Monday, February 21, 1977

I got a letter from Mom this week. She wrote and asked Sander if she and Elisabeth could stay with him when they came for a visit. Sander wrote back that they can stay with him, but only if they pay him rent. Sander had to pay Mom’s rent from the time he was 14 years old.  He feels it would only be fair if she does the same while she stayed at his place. I could tell by Mom’s letter that she was really upset with Sander. It sounded like she was mad at me, too. I can’t help what Sander wants and what he feels is fair. In a way, I don’t blame him. Mom wrote, “You better watch your tongue when you are with Sander. After I have read Sander’s letter I am sure all you do is bad mouth me and my husband and talk about how awful he was towards you, after all he has done for you!” I wonder if Mom has completely blocked out how cruelly Bent had treated us while we lived with them on William Street. Mom ended her letter by saying that she and Elisabeth are not coming after all because she was very upset with Sander for asking her to pay rent while they are here.

Tuesday, February 26, 1977

When I got home from school the mailman had brought me two letters from mom. In one of the letters, she wrote about being in the hospital. She had a nervous breakdown. She is now going to rehab to recover. This letter made me sad. In the other letter, Mom wrote that she and Elisabeth are coming to Canada after all. She asked me to make sure Sander wrote to her.

Sander has started to lift weights with Nick two nights a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This evening, he came to pick Nick up. Before they left for the gym, I did as mom had asked, and asked him to write to her.  He has such a temper!  He got very angry! I thought he was going to hit me. I don’t think I will ever ask him to write mom again.

Friday, March 4, 1977

Since I started school I have met a lot of my friends from my old school, Lord Nielson Elementary. I have also run into some friends that used to go to Britannia High School

 last year. I am surprised by how many people I know at this school. It’s nice because I don’t feel so alone. I still see Mary in the halls once in a while, but I don’t talk much with her since I am afraid. I miss her friendship so much.

After we had eaten dinner, Nick’s mom went to work with Teresa. His mom works some nights as a janitor. It’s nice when she is not home.

Nick went outside to work on his car. While he worked on his car I wrote a letter to mom letting her know I still wanted her to bring Elisabeth and come for a visit.  I wanted to see them, even if Sander didn’t.

Later this evening Fred and Tony came over for band practice. Fred and Tony are such nice guys, I enjoy listening to them practice their songs. They asked me if I would sing in their band. I would love to, but singing is not my talent. They would end up losing business. Sometimes when they have finished practicing we go out and eat pizza.

Tuesday, March 8, 1977

Sander wrote to Mom and told her that instead of using her money for the plane tickets to have her and Elisabeth come to Canada, he would rather she just send the money to him. Sander also wrote about how angry he still is at Bent, due to the way he treated us.  Mom was very upset with his letter. When I got home from school today I had a letter from Mom saying that because of Sander’s letter, she has changed her mind again about coming to spend the summer in Canada

. It’s not my fault that Sander is so blunt and tells her just how he feels. Mom also wrote that Bent was so good to us! She told Sander that we are ungrateful for all he has done for us.

I wrote back “I am sad to read that you have changed your mind about coming after all. I thought you were coming for both our sake, I am sorry that Sander had written that he would rather have the money.” I also explained that Sander had lost his job and right now, all he could think about was money. “He is asking you not to come but doesn’t he know that you are coming not just to see him, but to see me too? I don’t understand how he can only think about himself, and not consider my feeling too.” He just makes me so mad! He doesn’t seem to care for anyone but himself. I also told Mom about the other night, when Sander was here, he had asked me to give him $15.00. I showed him I only had $5.00 in my purse which I badly needed. Before I knew it he grabbed the money and said, “I will pay you back next week.” I told her that I knew I would never see the money again. I don’t get that he didn’t care that I said that I needed that money. 

I continued to write about how bad I felt that Mom had insisted Bent was so good to us. I reminded her of some of the things he had done to us that were mean and unfair. It is as if she is in complete denial about what happened to Sander and I while we were together. I ended my letter by telling her that she had written that it was of no use coming where she is not welcome. I let her know that she was always welcome to come and see me. I also let her know I had nothing to do with Sander’s letter.

Wednesday, March 9, 1977

While I was in math class today, Sherri, my old friend from Britannia leaned over and asked me how my mom and sister were doing in Denmark. I never got a chance to answer her because the teacher looked at me and then I got in trouble. Oh, it made me so mad. The teacher said to me, “Anne, I will call your parents and let them know you are not behaving in class!” I answered, “Go ahead and call them, but I’ve got to warn you, they live in Denmark

 so it will be one expensive bill!” The whole class laughed. The teacher got even more upset with me. After class, Sherri apologized for getting me into trouble. I told her it was okay.

Monday, March 18, 1977

Mom’s friend, Vivi, who lives here in Vancouver called last week to invite Sander and I to her place to eat dinner with her and her husband, Gert. When I got home from school Sander came and picked me up. We went to their home. Vivi had made such a nice dinner for us. We had new potatoes, gravy, rød kåll, and turkey.  For dessert, we had rice pudding with strawberries. It was a real Danish meal!  It was fun to be able to talk Danish again. We laughed a lot while we were together. They are just the nicest people. After we left their house, Sander took me to his girlfriend’s place. We didn’t talk much. We mostly just watched T.V. and then Sander drove me back to Nick’s house.

Tuesday, March 19. 1977

When I got home from school I got another letter from mom. She wrote, “How evil is it possible for one’s own children to get?” Sander writes letters to Mom about how he feels. I sat down to write her back. I wrote that whatever Sander writes to her and whatever she writes to him is between the two of them. It is not fair that she gets angry with me for what he writes, especially since I am not the one writing the mean letters. I let her know that I understood that she is upset, but it didn’t give her the right to take it out on me.

She writes she is going to send Sander the money instead of buying a plane ticket. I wrote back that if this is what she was going to do there was nothing I could do about it. I also let her know that I was sad to know that neither she nor Sander seem to care about how I felt at all.

Tuesday, March 22, 1977

I got my report card from school today. I got a B in science. It’s mostly because of my science partner, Julia. Since I have a hard time reading, she reads the assignments to me and we discuss the answers and since I have a hard time with spelling, she writes them down and I copy what she has written. I love Julia! She is the best, and she makes science so much fun and we laugh a lot while we are together. 

Wednesday, March 23, 1977

I usually love my cooking class.  Today was different.  The teacher told us the school needed money so they are going to have a bake sale. She showed us all a piece of paper that said all students were to bring baked goods from home. We are to bring them to the office and once they are taken to the office they become school property. We were asked to sign a paper to make sure we understood what was asked of us. The teacher had a different paper for each of us. She walked down the aisles and handed each student his or her paper.  She stood there to watch as each of us signed the paper. When it was my turn the teacher handed me a paper which said I was to make a cake and decorate it. I explained to the teacher that I didn’t live at home and I didn’t have the money to buy the ingredients for the cake. The teacher said, “If you don’t sign the paper, then you will fail this class!” Then she added, “The school is not interested in your personal life and your excuses for not bringing what you have been asked.” I was horrified! I didn’t want to fail the cooking class. It seemed like I didn’t have a choice. I reluctantly signed the paper. When Nick got home from work I told him about the assignment. Nick said he would buy the ingredients and I could bake and decorate it while his mom was at work.

Thursday, March 24, 1977

It makes me so mad that I am forced to do this assignment!  On top of it all, they call it a baking “contest,” I don’t remember volunteering for this contest. I wanted to have Nick help me write the principal a letter telling him how wrong I thought it was. But I was afraid of what the principal would do to me in return. Tonight, as soon as Nick’s mom left for work, I baked the cake and decorated it. I was scared she would return sooner than she usually does. I have cleaned the kitchen and I have done my best not to leave any trace of me being there.