Friday, March 25, 1977
Today in school, there was an announcement over the loudspeaker. We were reminded that we were off for spring break all next week. They announced there were jobs available at Stanley Park for students who wanted to work while they were off. As soon as class was over, I hurried to the office to find out how to apply for the job. When school was over, I made the phone call. The lady I talked to asked me to come in at 2:00 p.m. tomorrow and apply in person. Oh, I hope I get the job!
Saturday, March 26, 1977
I took the bus to Stanley Park to see about the job. There were other girls there too. While there, a lady told us if we wanted the job we were to call in the morning. Whoever called first would get the job for the day working in a concession stand. If we got the job for the day, they would see if they liked us and then we could call again the next day. The job was a day-to-day position, nothing permanent. I was going to try to be the first one to call in the morning.
Sunday, March 27, 1977
I turned my alarm on so I could wake up early. I was told to be at Stanley Park today at noon sharp. I took the bus and was there just in time. I first took orders from people and I had to add the money up on a cash register. When the customer gave me money, I had to figure out how much change they should get in return. (In those days the cash register didn’t do that for you.) Since I was not used to doing that, it was kind of hard. There wasn’t much time to stand still. It made the time go by fast. The stand is right in the middle of the park, and there were lots of people who wanted food. I had a ten-minute break where I was allowed to have a hot dog and a drink. I got off from work at 5:00 p.m. I was asked to call tomorrow morning and if I was one of the first callers again, I would get the job for another day. When I got back I asked Nick if he had any money so I could practice giving change back. To my surprise, it didn’t take long for me to catch on, and it was kind of fun. I thought, maybe I’m not as dumb as Mom and Bent had always told me I was.
Monday, March 28, 1977
I woke up early again so I would be the first to call. I was told they didn’t feel like working today, so the concession stand was closed. I guess I never know if I will be working.
Tuesday, March 29, 1977
I was able to work today! I am so happy that I was one of the first girls to call so that I can earn some money. Two ladies own the concession stand. Both ladies like to give orders and want to show they are in charge. It’s hard to know what to do since I can’t do two things at once. Both ladies are kind of hard on all the girls that work here.
Wednesday, March 30, 31, and April 1, 1977
I’ve been able to work every day so far. I like working here, except I have a hard time with the two female managers. It is hard when they both want me to think she is the main person in charge.
Saturday, April 2, 1977
Before I left for work today, one of the bosses asked me if I was planning to come and work the next day. I told her I was planning on it. She said, “Okay, we will see you tomorrow.”
Sunday, April 3, 1977
This morning Nick asked me if I was working today. I told him I was planning on it. Then he told me his mom, sister and I were invited to go to a wedding shower for one of his cousins. I told Nick his family probably wouldn’t care if I was there or not, besides I would rather go to work. Nick said his mom would be upset if I didn’t go. I didn’t want to upset her so I called work to let them know I couldn’t come in that day. The lady said, “You can have today off and while you are at it, you can have every day off because it looks like you don’t want to work.” I assured her I needed the job and I only needed today off. But the lady told me to come in and get my paycheck, and then she hung up the phone.
I felt really bad because I liked the job and I needed the money. I had hoped I could work there every weekend. I got ready to go to the shower with Mrs. Petruzzelli and Teresa. While we were at the party Teresa asked me if I managed to get the day off from work. I told her since I had asked for the day off they said they didn’t want me to come back and work for them again. Teresa translated this to her mom. Mrs. Petruzzelli said something in Italian. I couldn’t understand what she was saying but I did understand, “Sei uno stupido.” I didn’t ask Teresa what her mom was saying, because the part about me being stupid was coming across loud and clear. I felt so frustrated! Here I took the day off from work so I wouldn’t upset her, and now she is upset because I had lost my job! It doesn’t matter what I do, I still get in trouble, no matter how hard I try.
Wednesday, April 6, 1977
Now that I am not riding my bike and walking everywhere I go as I had done in Denmark, I have gained weight. My clothes feel so tight, it’s terrible because I don’t have the money to buy bigger clothes. After I got back from school today, Nick and I went for a long jog. I felt so out of shape. When we got back, Nick’s mom looked at me and then she puffed up her cheeks and with her arms, she walked like a monkey. Then she said something in Italian to me. I asked Nick what she was doing. He said, “She is making fun of you because you are fat.” I didn’t say anything I went downstairs. I don’t understand why she is so mean. I guess I shouldn’t take it personally, but it still hurts.
Thursday, April 7, 1977
Most of the Petruzzelli family was away from the house this morning. Cosmo got all his things and moved out. When I got back from school I saw him carry out one of his last boxes. I asked him where he was going. He told me he was moving in with a friend. He said he has been dying to get away from home for a long time. Now that he was 18 years old he could finally make his dream come true. He said, “I don’t like how my mom always has to yell when she is upset about things.” I thought it was my fault, so I apologized to him for all the contention I have caused. To my surprise, Cosmo said, “No, before you came, it used to always be me she would yell at. I can never be as good as Nick in anything I do. I am just sorry it is you she is picking on now.” As Cosmo left he said, “I will still be helping out the band, so I will see you soon.” Then he left.
As he shut the door I knew I would miss him. He is such a funny guy. He always made me laugh. Every Friday he used to go steal gas, and then every Saturday he would go and confess to the priest what he had done. All Saturday morning he would be a basket case because he hated going to confession. One Saturday I asked him, “If you dread going to see the priest so much why do you steal gas in the first place?” He answered, “Because it is a lot cheaper to pay the priest $2.00 and then be forgiven than it is to pay $10.00 at the gas station. I thought it was strange that the priest had this power to forgive him when he planned to turn around and do the same thing again the next week.
Nick and Cosmo have shared a bedroom ever since Cosmo was born. Now Nick will have the bedroom to himself. However, he seems sad his brother is gone.
Saturday, April 16, 1977
This morning after Nick and I got back from our daily jog, I went into my room to get changed. There was a plastic bag. I picked it up to see what was in it. Nick’s mom bakes her bread and when it gets hard she throws it out and bakes some more. But instead of throwing out the bread, I guess she thought she would put it in my room. I just don’t understand her!
Later in the day, I made a banner that Nick will be wearing in a contest that he is entering tomorrow at school. Nick and his friends all seem excited about the contest. After I had finished the banner, Nick asked me if I could sew some patches on his work jeans, so I did. Later, his mom brought the pants down to my room. She was screaming and yelling at me. I asked Nick what was wrong. He said, “She is just upset because she doesn’t know how to sew on patches. It made her mad that you know how.” I don’t know why she can’t just be grateful I sewed them on.
Sunday, April 17, 1977
I went with Nick to church today. His family doesn’t always go to church, but they still consider themselves very strong Catholics. They mostly go to confession when they have stolen something. They want to make sure their sins are forgiven before they die.
I have never been to a Catholic Church before. When we walked in I could see everyone kneeling in front of the statue of Mary. They kiss their hands, make the cross on their chest, and then kneel at her feet. As we walked in, Nick did the same. When I walked past the statue Nick whispered, “Kiss your hand, make the sign of the cross, and kneel.” Even though I had never been active in the Mormon Church I knew that making the sign of the cross was wrong. I hurried and walked past Mary and went and sat down. Nick wanted to know what my problem was. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable doing what he had asked. As we sat and listened to the priest talk in Latin, a man held a bowl that was at the end of a stick. The bowl came past me. I was supposed to put money into it. I felt very uncomfortable because I had no money. Even if I did I didn’t want to put it in the basket. Nick threw in a couple of dollars. When we left Nick told me I had to get used to making the sign of the cross since I was going to become Catholic. I asked him why he assumed that. He said, “Because that is what I am, and I am expected to marry in my religion. Besides, then my mom will like you.” I had not thought about religion for a long time. I knew God was there! I figured we all worshiped the same God, so I agreed to join their church.
That night I had a hard time falling asleep. I thought about when I was little and Grandma had told me about the Mormon Church. I had always felt it was true. I reasoned with myself, that there are so many churches. What were the chances I happened to be born into just the right one? Surely God didn’t care which church I went to.
Monday, April 18, 1977
At Britannia High School they have all the 12th grade boys dress up as girls. They have a talent show to see who looks most like a girl and he will be crowned “Miss Britannia.” The boys only enter the contest if they want to. Including Nick, 14 boys have signed up this year. The school takes it very seriously. For the past month the students who are participating have been practicing a dance they will be performing together.
After school, Nick and I went over to his cousin’s house to borrow a dress for the talent show. When we got back Nick shaved his legs for the performance. When all 14 boys had done their dance it was time for the judges to pick out five boys who are to be in the final show to be held tomorrow. The judges were teachers who work at the school. The judges called out four names. There was still one more name to be picked out. I was hoping that Nick would be the name they called out because I knew how much this contest meant to him. One of the judges asked, “Can you guess who the fifth winner is?” All Nick’s friends yelled, “Miss Nickie!” The teacher called out, “Yes, it’s Miss Nickie!” Nick’s friends all cheered.
After the contest, we stopped by Sander’s place because I wanted to take a picture of him so I could send it to Mom and Elisabeth, but to my disappointment, he was not home.
Tuesday, April 19, 1977
After school, Nick and I went over to his cousin’s house to borrow a long evening dress. When we got back Nick practiced the song he was going to be singing in the talent show. He practiced singing it in a high voice, it was funny.
Later in the evening, we went to Nick’s school for the second segment of the beauty contest. The five finalists performed their talents. The judge called out who had come in fifth, then fourth, and then third. The final two contestants were Nick and this other skinny Chinese guy who had just walked in circles on the stage as if he was doing ballet as his talent. The students in the audience started to chant “Nickie, Nickie, Nickie.” Before we knew it most of the students stood up and shouted, “Nickie, Nickie, Nickie!” The teacher called out, “Miss Nickie is in second place!” The winner was the little skinny Chinese guy. I was so sure Nick was going to win. A lot of the students started to yell, “BOO, we want Nickie!” Someone from the audience threw a raw egg. One of the five finalists got the egg right in the face. The teachers tried to figure out where it came from, but they didn’t have any luck.
After the contest, we stopped by Sander’s place again. I asked one of the boys who lives there if he knew where my brother was. He said, “I think he is going to be in the hospital for the next few days.” I asked him if he knew why. He told me he was having an operation. When I got back to Nick’s house I called the hospital, but they couldn’t find anyone there by that name. I called up Sander’s girlfriend’s house. A recording came on saying the number I had called had been disconnected. I don’t understand why Sander has not called me to let me know what is going on. He knows I worry about him.
Wednesday, April 20, 1977
As soon as I got home from school I called Sander’s place, but he was still not there. At 4:30 p.m. Sander stopped by because he said he had something sent to this address for him. Sander didn’t say much he just wanted his mail. I asked him where he had been. He said, “I can’t talk, my girlfriend is waiting for me in the car.” I told Sander I had been worried sick about him, at least he could tell me where he has been these past few days. He lifted his shirt to show me his chest. It was all bandaged up, he said, “I have 18 stitches on the right side”. I asked him what happened, he told me that his chest was starting to grow like a girl’s breast. The doctor removed whatever was behind it. I wanted to talk some more but it was clear Sander had only stopped by to see if there was mail for him. It made me sad that he didn’t seem to care that I had worried about him.
Sunday, April 24, 1977
Nick’s cousin, Tommy came over to visit today. He has just arrived from Italy
. He doesn’t speak a word of English. He is going to be living with Nick’s other cousin until he finds a job and place of his own. Tommy is a very nice guy. He gave me a gift. He said it was from his mom. On the gift, it said, “To Nick’s future wife. From: Nick’s Aunt.” I was surprised he had a present for me because I had never heard of him or his family. I opened up the gift, and inside the box were two beautiful charms for a bracelet. I thanked him for them, Nick translated for me. I wrote to Nick’s Aunt to thank her. Nick translated the letter for me then I rewrote the letter in Italian so they would be able to understand my letter.
Monday, April 25, 1977
On my way home from school, I walked to Sander’s place. He showed me the 18 stitches he had on his chest. He said he felt fine and he would be going back to the doctor in a few days to get the stitches out.
When I got back to Nick’s place, I found a letter from Mom. She still asks me to tell Sander to write her. I wrote back to tell her I don’t see him much. That is unless he wants money. I don’t have much so I can only “lend” him $3.00-$5.00 at a time. I go back to his place to see if he can pay it back, but he always tells me he doesn’t have it. I don’t know why I bother asking for it.
It looks like Mom is still thinking about coming here this summer, and wants me to find a room she can rent while they are here. I wrote Mom and said that I would help her find something. Before I went to bed I went on the scale. I am so excited that I have lost almost all of the weight I had gained since I got here. Now my clothes aren’t so tight anymore!
Sunday, May 1, 1977
When it was time for dinner I was downstairs in my room. No one called to let me know it was time to eat. I knew it had to be dinnertime, so I came upstairs. Everyone had already eaten, even Nick. I asked him why no one had called me. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I didn’t think you wanted any.” I wished there was a place I could call home. A place where someone wants me around.
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