Non Sono Stupido – I’m not stupid
Monday, May 23, 1977
It’s been two weeks since Sander moved. He still has not called to tell me where he is. I just don’t understand. Doesn’t he know I worry about him, and that he is the only family I have here in Canada?
Tuesday, May 24, 1977
When I came back from school, Teresa told me that my brother had just been there. I asked her what he wanted and if he left a telephone number or an address where I could reach him. She said, “No, he just wanted his mail, and then he left again.” Sander knows I get out of school at 3:15 every afternoon. He knew I would be home soon, yet he couldn’t wait five minutes for me. If he had known I had money, I am sure he would have waited for me!
Friday, May 27, 1977
Sander stopped by this evening to see if there was any mail for him. I told him I was hurt that he had not let me know where he was. He didn’t seem to care. Then I told him that Mom had written that she would be calling here on June 5th and wanted him to be here too. Sander said he would stop by at that time, and then he left.
Sunday, June 5, 1977
Sander came over, and together we waited for the phone to ring. When it rang, both Sander and I talked to Mom for five minutes each. I wanted to talk to Elisabeth too, but Mom said it was too expensive. I just wanted to say “Hi” and hear her voice. When we were done talking on the phone, I asked Sander what he had talked to Mom about. Sander couldn’t answer me because he was crying. Sander didn’t say much, and then he left.
School is out in two weeks. Julia is both my science partner and my cooking partner. We made cream puffs in class last week, but they didn’t turn out. The teacher said we needed to get together and try it again, and bring them to school on Monday to prove that they had turned out. I went over to Julia’s place, so we could try to make the cream puffs again. We have so much fun together.
I think because we have so much fun together, we haven’t paid close attention to what the teacher had said. That is most likely why our cream puffs didn’t turn out in class.
When we had made the cream puffs, we stood anxiously by the stove to see if they would rise. Otherwise, we would have to try again. We were both relieved to see the cream puffs turned out!
Once they cooled off, we filled them and put the icing on top. When we were done, Julia said she would bring them to school tomorrow so the teacher could see them for herself.
That evening, when I got back, Nick read the Book of Mormon to me again. He was almost done with the book. Then he read Moroni 10:3-4. Nick stopped reading, then he looked at me and asked, “Do you know what this means?” I answered, “No.” Nick read it again. Then he said with great excitement, “It is a promise to us that we can find out for ourselves if this book is true or not! Let’s pray right now and ask God.” We knelt right then and there. Nick said the prayer.
Monday, June 6, 1977
After school, when I saw Nick, he asked me, “Did you get an answer about the book?” I asked, “Did you?” He answered, “Yes.” He seemed so sure. Then Nick asked me, “Do you believe it?” I answered, “Yes.” Even though I doubted it. I felt kind of envious of the excitement Nick had for the book. I wanted to feel it too. That night, I knelt and asked the Lord to help me know without a doubt if the Book of Mormon was true or not.
When I fell asleep and had a dream. I dreamt that I saw the Salt Lake Temple. It was nighttime. Temple was lit up by the lights around it. I saw families all dressed in white. The families looked happy.
Next, I looked outside the Temple. There I saw people dressed in all kinds of beautiful, colorful clothes. They seemed happy too.
I held my hand so I could be with the families, all dressed in white. Then I held out my other hand so I could be with the people running around, because I was curious to see where they were going and liked their colorful clothing.
I couldn’t hold on to both places, and I would not let go of either. I fell into a pit of darkness. Just then, I woke up with a jolt. I sat up in bed. I wondered what this dream meant. I wondered if this was an answer to the prayer I had said, asking whether the church was true. I lay down to think about it. I concluded that it meant I could choose whichever one I wanted.
I had hoped for a clear answer. Then I remembered a lesson I had at church in Denmark when I was younger. It was about families and thinking that if I married in the Mormon church, I would no longer be broken. Therefore, the church must be true.
Friday, June 10, 1977
Next Friday is the last day of school. When I got back from school, I told Nick I couldn’t spend the summer at his house. I needed to go back to Denmark. He understood. He said, “I will send you another ticket when you are 18, and you can come back, and we will travel to Utah and then get married in the Salt Lake Temple.”
I called up the airline about my ticket to Denmark. Luckily, the ticket Nick had bought me was one that let me go back anytime within a year. The lady I talked to said the soonest I could fly back was Sunday, June 19, 1977. I said that would be fine. She said my ticket would arrive in the mail in a couple of days.
Later in the evening, Nick’s family was having a get-together at his cousin’s house. They were all speaking Italian as usual. Then, in front of everyone, Nick’s mom came over to me and put her arms lovingly around my neck. Then she said, “Sei uno stupido,” which means, “You are stupid.” Everyone laughed. She had pretended to say something loving to me. I have learnt a little Italian while living with Nick and his family, so I smiled lovingly back and said, “Sei uno stupido tu,” which means, “You are stupid too,” or if you ask Google, “You are an idiot.”
Everyone laughed even louder. Nick’s mom pushed me. Since I have started to understand a little Italian, I understood when one of the relatives said, “Hmm, apparently she is not as stupid as you think she is.”
Nick’s mom gave me a cold, hard stare. If looks could have killed, I would have been struck dead right then and there. Oh, I can’t wait to get away from here!
All the relatives except Mrs. Petruzzelli have been nice to me. But still, I couldn’t wait to leave!
Friday, June 17, 1977
Today was the last day of school. Nick finally earned his High School diploma.
After school, Sander came over. I told him I was going back to Denmark next week. Nick asked Sander if he wanted to go out and eat pizza with us. When we got to the restaurant, I saw my old friend, Anne.
I had not seen her since I went to Sir James Douglas School to learn to speak English. It had been five years since I had last seen her. We stopped to talk for a few minutes. She said, “I can’t believe how well you speak English now. When I saw you last, you were just learning.” We both laughed. I said. “Yes, that was a long time ago.” She wanted my phone number so we could keep in touch. I told her I was leaving for Denmark next week. I gave her my address in Denmark so she could write me.
Saturday, June 18, 1977
I had a few dollars left that I had been saving. Nick and I went to the store to find gifts I could bring back for Mom, Bent, Grandma, and Elisabeth. After I had bought the presents, I was all out of Canadian money.
After we got back, I packed my belongings. I could not fit everything in my suitcase, including the beautiful crystal rocks Erik once gave me.
Erik was a man who had lived in Bent’s basement. He had owned a jewelry store. When he retired, he had given me the collection that he had used to display in the window of his store.
The rocks meant a lot to me because they contained valuable gemstones in all different colors. Nick told me not to worry, he would take good care of my things until I got back.
Later that night, I got ready to go to a dance where Nick and his band were playing. While we were at the dance, I saw one of Nick’s cousins. I started to talk to her and her husband. They were sorry to hear I was going back to Denmark.
When Nick and his band had a break from playing, his cousin told us they needed someone to watch the apartment complex they owned. They said Nick and I would be perfect for the job. We could have our own apartment, and in return, I could vacuum the halls and keep them clean. Nick could watch the apartment and collect rent money.
Nick thought it was a good idea. He said excitedly, “This is the perfect solution! You don’t have to leave tomorrow after all!” I said, “But my ticket is all made out. We will lose it if I don’t leave tomorrow.” Nick responded, “So, what? It’s okay. We belong together!”
For a split second, it sounded exciting and the solution to everything! Then I got a sick feeling in my stomach, and besides, I missed Elisabeth terribly! Then I said, “Nick, we are too young.” He responded, “But I am ready to settle down.” I answered, “Yes, you are 19, but I am only 15. I will be back when I am older.”
Nick’s cousins tried to talk me into staying, but I stood my ground. Nick cried. I felt bad, but staying just didn’t seem right to me. It was time for Nick to go back on stage. As he sang, it was hard for him to keep his composure. Later, when the dance was over, I helped him and his band pack up their equipment.
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