Sunday, June 10, 2007
At church today, Richard was ordained to be a High Priest. I was surprised. After he had been set apart, the old Bishop whom I had a while back pulled me aside. He said, “By the look on your face, I can see that this was unexpected. I want you to know that the Priesthood Leaders met. It included the Stake President, your Bishop, and a few other Priesthood holders. We all agreed that Richard was ready and worthy to be ordained as a High Priest. We should have talked to you first so that it wouldn’t have come as a surprise. We didn’t because it was a unanimous vote, and we all felt he was worthy. Therefore, we knew you would fully support it.”
I didn’t say anything. I just thought that out of respect, they should have told me beforehand.
When we got home from church, Richard had a smirk on his face. I asked him what was so funny. He responded that he was just so happy they thought him worthy to be a High Priest.
If all the Priesthood leaders who had met felt he was worthy, who am I to question it? He must be the worthy Priesthood holder that my Patriarchal blessing had promised me after all.
Too much had happened between Richard and me. I still think of him as someone I have been assigned to endure because I was supposed to help him get back to Heaven. I guess I should take it as a compliment that Heavenly Father entrusted me with this task.
Monday, June 11, 2007
I have worked at the hospital for 2 months now. The supervisor was fired, and I have been asked to take her place. It’s $2.00 more an hour. I accepted the position. I am now making $12.00 an hour. I get paid time and a half for overtime.
One of the employees, *Lita, is upset that I was made the supervisor, since she has been working there much longer than I have. We were good friends, but now that I am a supervisor, she is awful to be around.
By April 2008, we should be all caught up on our bills. With all the overtime I was doing, maybe I could quit even sooner. Then I can stay home with Laila and Johny. In the meantime, I am grateful for this job because I enjoy it!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Even though I do what I can to get overtime, I am still homeschooling, and I continue to teach Johny and Laila how to speak Danish. I told them that one day we would go to Denmark, and they would meet my dad, and speak Danish with him.
Johny started to question these plans. He said, “Mom, we have no money! How will that ever come to pass?” I told him to have faith and to pray because I believed in miracles. Who knows, it might be possible someday.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
When I got home from work, Johny showed me he had found a steam clock online.
He was excited to show it to me because he loved anything powered by steam. I told him I had seen that clock because it was next to the park where I used to work when I lived in Vancouver, Canada.
I told Johny in our prayer that we should include a trip to Canada so we could see it. It sounded fun, so we both got excited about it.
We then talked about how awesome it would be to travel to Europe and see all the things we had learned about.
One of the things we had learned about was the Cologne Cathedral in Germany. We thought it would be amazing to see that, too. I had always wanted to go to Peris France, and to see the Eiffel Tower. So we included that in our prayers as well.
I had prayed for miracles over the past few years that never came to pass. It was strange, but I felt that if we prayed for this miracle, it would somehow come to pass.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Jared got married today. Jared and his wife will be living with his wife’s parents to save money.
Her parents only live about 15 minutes away from us, so hopefully we’ll see them often.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
I enjoy being the supervisor and working in the office. *Bree, the kitchen manager, wants more time off, so she is teaching me how to do her job.
I was amazed at how quickly I learned to enter everything on the computer. I never imagined that I was capable of something like that. I smiled to myself when I thought about how scary it had been for me a few years ago to just check my emails.
When my manager had trained me in everything she did, she expected me to do her job as well as the tasks I had been assigned as a supervisor.
I don’t mind the overtime, but it’s hard to keep up with homeschooling. Since I get up so early and work so many hours, I am exhausted! When I get home and sit down, it’s hard to stay awake.
Laila and Johny do the chores they are asked to do and keep up with their schoolwork. I don’t know how much longer I can keep up with this schedule, but for now, we are able to make it work.
Friday, August 10, 2007
My uncle, Sonny, called to tell me that my farmor had passed away.
She lived to be 93.
I had always envisioned that when her time came, I would be able to go to Denmark for her funeral.
I was sad that I couldn’t go to Denmark and say my last goodbye to her.
After I had talked to my uncle, I went to work. I didn’t tell anyone about my grandma’s passing.
No one had ever passed away at the hospital while I had worked there. As I was working, my manager asked me to get a cart ready and place a grievance tray on it. I let her know that I had no idea what she was talking about. She then showed me how to make it and told me it was for family members who had a loved on someone pass away.
It had drinks placed on a cart, along with a tray of food neatly placed on it. When we were done preparing the cart, I was asked to take it to room *204.
As I was about to wheel the cart into the room, I looked at the chart to see who had passed away. It was an older lady. She was born the same year as my farmor.
When I brought the food into the room, I saw her lying on the bed, with family members grieving around her. I wanted to tell them that my grandma passed away this morning and that she was the same age as their loved one. I also wanted to ask them if it was okay for me to stay and grieve with them since I couldn’t go to Denmark. But I knew that would be odd, so I offered my condolences and left.
I stood outside the room behind the door where no one could see me. I could hear the family member crying. As I stood grieving, I talked to my farmor in my heart. I told her I was sorry that I had not been able to call her on her birthday, especially since it was her last. I felt her presence and that she understood. I told her goodbye and that I hoped to see her again when it was my time to leave this earth. After talking to her for a little while, I went back to the kitchen.
That night, when I said my nightly prayer, I told Heavenly Father that I knew what happened at the hospital today was not a coincidence. I knew He knew I was sad about not being able to go home, so I thanked him for allowing me to still feel close to my grandmother and say goodbye.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I called Sander to tell him our grandmother had passed away. He had hoped to visit her someday. He was never able to save up money for a plane ticket, and now it was too late.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sarah and I email once in a while. She has moved to Colorado with her boyfriend. I am glad that I love my job. It’s helping me not to think and worry about her as much.
On occasions, I still cry over her. It happens when I least expect it. I wish I could cry over her once and for all and get it over with, but it doesn’t work that way!
I am glad I work on Sundays. I feel like such a failure when I go to church. When I work on Sundays, I listen to church music. It’s helping me heal. I hope to someday go back to church without feeling so much pain!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Laila has to get her blood tested every 3 months because she is taking Lithium. In April, I got a call from the doctor saying that I had to take her to a thyroid specialist because her thyroid levels were off.
I took her to see the specialist, as I had been asked. He gave me some pills to give Laila. They were to help her thyroid levels return to normal.
I was told not to come back for another year and that they would test her to see where her levels were at. I told the doctor that I thought a year was an awful long time. He said the pills were slow-working, and that’s how long it would take to see results. Even though I had doubts, I trusted the doctor.
In June, Laila acted tired and not like herself. It was hard for her to do her schoolwork and get her chores done. When I got home from work, she would apologize and say she didn’t know why she was so tired.
I called the thyroid doctor to see if I could make an appointment. I was told it had not been a year, and it was too soon for them to see her. I told the receptionist something was wrong and asked her to please make an appointment so her blood could be checked. Again, I was told it was too soon for them to see her and to call back when it was time.
I worried about Laila. It was not like her to sleep all the time and not want to do anything.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Laila was getting worse. I took her to the doctor, who gave her lithium. I asked him to have her blood tested. I was told they would call me back if her blood levels were off. If I didn’t hear from them meant she was fine.
A few days later, the nurse called my house to let me know that Laila’s levels were concerning. Johny answered the call and told them he would let me know they had called. When I got home from work, Johny forgot to tell me about this important phone call.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Laila was so sick she didn’t get out of bed. She sleeps 24 hours a day. She can barely get up to get something to drink and go to the bathroom.
I was home from work today. I tried to talk to Laila. She just looked at me as if she was trying to comprehend what I was saying. It was as if she was far away. I asked her if she was okay. It took her a while to answer. Slowly, she said, “I feel like I am dying.”
I took Laila to her regular doctor. They tested her blood. It turned out that the thyroid medicine she had been taking was the opposite of what she needed.
I called the thyroid office and demanded to speak with the doctor. I asked him how he could have made such a terrible mistake! He was rude and arrogant. He said, “If you were so worried about her, why didn’t you come back and see me so I could test her blood?” I told him to look in his record, and he would see I had called and was told it was too soon to come back. I waited as he looked up her records. Then he casually said, “Oh well, these things happen.”
Then he told me to stop giving Laila the pills and come back and see him in a couple of months. I let him know there was no way I was taking her back since he almost killed her.
When I went to work, Bree could tell something was on my mind. I told her about what had happened to Laila. Bree told me to come with her. We went and talked to one of the doctors at the hospital.
This doctor had Laila’s lab results faxed to him. After looking at the results, he looked at me very concerned, and said, “Are you aware that your daughter is in serious trouble? I’m amazed she is still alive!”
Then he said a normal thyroid count is between 2 and 3. When Laila was first seen, her count was 4. Now that she had been on the pills they gave her, the count was 256. The highest level he had seen was 13, and that person was very ill, and they didn’t know if she was going to make it.
Then he said, “I can’t believe her organs haven’t shut down.” I told him Laila had told me that she felt like she was dying. He said that about sums it up, her organs are shutting down and she IS slowly dying.” I wanted to take her to the emergency right away.
The doctor called Primary Children’s Hospital. He was told there was nothing they could do for her and that all I could do was to take care of her and wait for her levels to go back down. I was sick about what had happened to Laila.
Friday, November 2, 2007
I took Laila to see her regular doctor to see if there wasn’t something he could do for her. He apologized and said there was nothing he could do.
I called Primary Children’s Hospital. They told me the same thing. I told them I was afraid that Laila was going to die in the meantime. They let me know that there was nothing they could do for her other than what I wasn’t already doing. Then they said to keep an eye out to see if she was still going to the bathroom because that meant her organs were still working.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Laila sleeps all the time and hardly goes to the bathroom. I called the Primary Children’s Hospital and asked to speak to the thyroid specialist. I told him I was worried about Laila and asked if there wasn’t something that could be done for her. He told me it would be dangerous for them to give Laila any more pills because she was so sick from having the wrong pills for so long. He said, “I am going to be honest with you. All we can do is hope she gets better.”
I feel so bad for Laila! I feel even worse that I had not tried harder for someone to listen to me when I saw she was getting sicker.
I am so worried! All I can do now is to pray that she will make it.
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