Sunday, February 4, 1979
Ever since Mom went back to church, the missionaries came to our home often. Missionaries have come and gone. They have all tried to get me to come to church. I just smile and say, “No, thank you.” I thought, The church is true and perfect, how could God want someone like me there? Especially since I had been baptized and not kept the covenant I had made when I was eight. I still hoped to marry in the Temple someday, but it seemed. So, far down the road and I didn’t know how that would all work out, for now, I wasn’t going to worry about it.
Since I have been working days, I started going to night school to learn about photography. One Elder who came to our home discovered my love for pictures, so he brought his camera over. He told me it was very expensive, and it could take pictures and would make beautiful images in the background with lights. He took some pictures of Elisabeth and me and promised to show them to me when they were developed. The next time he came over I was looking forward to seeing the pictures. But he told me if I wanted to see them, I would have to come to church, and he would show them to me.
Monday, February 5, 1979
I didn’t go to church yesterday. When the missionary came over I thought I could talk him into showing me the pictures, but he wouldn’t budge. I reluctantly agreed to meet him at church next Sunday.
Sunday, February 11, 1979
I went to church. I came expecting to see the pictures right away so I could go home. But the Elder said he wouldn’t show them to me until all the meetings were done. The Elder could see the disappointment in my face so he told me the pictures turned out good and they would be worth the wait. I thought to myself, “How hard can it be to sit through church just this one Sunday?” It just so happened, mom’s visiting teacher Mina was giving a talk about the atonement. It was as if her talk was written just for me. She talked about repentance and how through repentance we could be washed clean again. She also explained why we took the sacrament.
I was excited to think I could repent of anything I had ever done, and start anew. I was so grateful to Jesus for providing the atonement for me. This meant that the Lord loved me, even though I had not been active in His church after I had been baptized. I could hardly sleep for the next few nights. I was excited to think that I was not a lost cause after all! It was so overwhelming to think about the love the Lord had for all his children.
Sunday, February 18, 1979
I was scared to talk to the Bishop. But after hearing Mina’s talk last week, I had learned it was part of the repentance process and I had to get it over with. Before church started I asked the Bishop for an appointment. I was hoping he would say he could talk to me a few months down the road, but instead, he smiled and said, “Sure, just come see me in my office right after church.” Right after church! I wasn’t prepared for it to be so soon. It was hard for me to sit through church. I had never talked to a Bishop before. What would I say to him? What was he going to say back to me? Would he judge me and tell me what a terrible person I was? I was so scared! I thought about telling him we could talk some other time, but I also wanted to start going to church with a clear conscience. I had to get it over with!
The Bishop made it easy for me to talk to him. He was very understanding. He told me of some of the things he had done before he became a member. It blew me away. I thought, not him, he was perfect. He made me feel so much better about myself. He helped me understand there was hope if I continued to try to do my best.
I made friends with the few girls that were in the branch. Dorthe was one of these girls. After I had gone to church a couple of times. Dorthe told me all about the different members and about all the rumors that went on in the branch. Then she told me that the rumors about me were, that I was just there because of the missionaries. When Dorthe told me this, we both laughed. But inside I was hurt, because I thought these people didn’t know me or what was in my heart.
Monday, February 19, 1979
The rumor got even worse. I put some cream on my face. It turned out I was allergic to it, so my face swelled up and it felt like my skin was burned. I could hardly see out of my eyes. Even though it was late, I asked Mom to call the missionaries to come and give me a blessing. The missionaries came right over on their bikes. I was embarrassed to have them see me looking like this, but I believed that the blessing would help. After they had given me the blessing, they went back home again.
Tuesday, February 20, 1979
The Elders came by early this morning to see how I was doing. I was doing a little better. I thanked them for stopping by.
Sunday, February 25, 1979
When I got to church today I was in for a surprise. The Bishop handed me a pamphlet that read, “Why stay morally clean?” I asked him why he had given me this pamphlet. He told me one of the members had seen the Elders bikes outside where I lived late at night, and when she looked again the bikes were still there in the morning. They had assumed the missionaries had spent the night. I explained to him what had happened. I don’t know if the Bishop believed me because, shortly after one of the Elders was transferred. Whether that was a coincidence or not, I don’t know. I told myself I believed the church was true, but I was never coming back again.
Sunday, March 4, 1979
I have thought a lot about what happened last Sunday. I realized it didn’t matter what the members thought about me. It was hard to go to church, but I have decided I was not going to church for them, but for myself.
Tuesday, March 13, 1979
The missionaries came over and asked me to come with them to teach a lady who worked in the same building as I did. I had seen her at work but I didn’t know her. I told them I didn’t want to go with them. But the Elders came to pick me up anyway. That night they gave the first discussion about Joseph Smith. I was excited to finally know who he was and to learn about how he got the Book of Mormon, and also how he died. My heart was pounding as they were teaching the lesson. At the end of the discussion, the lady said that she didn’t want any more lessons about our church. As we left her house the missionaries felt rejected. They thought that their evening had been a waste of time. I didn’t know how to tell them how excited I was about the lesson they had just taught. After all, I was a fifth-generation Mormon who was baptized at the age of eight. How could I not know who Joseph Smith was?
That night it all came together for me. For the first time, I understood! I knew even more so without a doubt, that this was the true church. I am so grateful to understand the Plan of Salvation. That He is there for me, and that He knows me personally. All the things that helped me gain a testimony could not have happened by chance. My heart felt like it was going to burst. I wanted to go tell everyone about the church. I couldn’t wait to serve on a mission!
Wednesday, March 14, 1979
The missionaries came to our home almost daily, since there isn’t much to do for them here in Skive. Most Danes don’t want to hear about the Mormons. The people here are so set in their lifestyle and their traditions. It’s hard for the Elders to get in anywhere. I thought it would be different for me. I was going to convert every Danish person I knew! I was so convinced that once they heard the message they would feel the fire just as I did and they would have to believe and want to change. The missionary told me that I was welcome to help them in their missionary work. I soon learned that converting someone was a lot easier said than done.
Saturday, April 7, 1979
I have a coworker named Vibike. She has asked me so many questions about the church. I invited her to my place so the Elders could teach her. Vibike is accepting the message. At first, her parents didn’t seem to mind. The Elders and I were even invited to come to their place.
A few weeks later her parents realized Vibike was getting serious about the church, so they forbid Vibike to have anything to do with the missionaries and me. It is so frustrating how the people here view the church.
Sunday, May 6, 1979
Elder McAllister asked me if I pay a full tithing. I sort of remember hearing about it when I was little and went to Primary, but I wasn’t sure what it was all about. Elder McAllister explained it to me. I told him he must be kidding and that I didn’t want to make that kind of commitment. Espically since I already had to give my mom a large amount of my paycheck, and the goverment also took their share, there wasn’t going to be anything left over for me! The missionary showed me some verses in the scriptures about tithing. He asked me to have faith, and then he made me promise to give it a try. It was hard for me to agree. I ended up agreeing to start paying a full tithe.
Saturday, May 12, 1979
The Elders asked me to bring my friends to church. I have tried but no one wants to go. If anything, they seem to think I am crazy for going to church every Sunday. Then the Elders asked me to help them put on a dance at our church and invite all my nonmember friends.
It was a lot of work getting everything just right for the dance. I was so nervous about how it would turn out and wondered if any of my friends would even show up. I was surprised to see that almost all of them came!
Since the Elders can’t dance they stayed on the side and made sure there was food and drinks on the table. We ended up having a lot of fun. I think it was good for my friends to see you can still have a good time even if there is no alcohol involved. The ones who wanted to smoke were asked if they wouldn’t mind doing it outside. They seemed okay with it.
Saturday, June 16, 1979
The Elders liked how the dance had turned out, so they asked me if I would mind inviting everyone to a sports day. Again, I was nervous to see if anyone would show up. This time, even more of my friends came. The Elders were in their regular clothes so they could play too. We all had a lot of fun. My friends don’t mind coming to the fun stuff, but none of them want to hear anything about the gospel. I think it’s going to be impossible to convert anyone here.
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