Sunday, February 4, 1979
Ever since Mom went back to church, the missionaries have been coming to our place regularly.
Missionaries have come and gone. They have all tried to get me to come to church. I smile and say, “No, thank you.”
I thought, “The church is true and perfect; how could God want someone like me there?” Especially since I had been baptized and not kept the covenant I had made when I was eight.
I still hoped to marry in the Temple someday, but it seemed so far down the road, and I didn’t know how that would all work out. For now, I wasn’t going to worry about it.
One Elder who came to our home discovered I was going to night school to learn photography, so he brought his camera.
He told me it was very expensive and could take pictures, making beautiful images in the background with lights. He took some pictures of Beth and me and promised to show them to me when they were developed.
The next time he came over, I was looking forward to seeing the pictures. But he told me if I wanted to see them, I would have to come to church, and he would show them to me.
Monday, February 5, 1979
I didn’t go to church yesterday. When the missionary came over, I thought I could talk him into showing me the pictures, but he wouldn’t budge. I reluctantly agreed to meet him at church next Sunday.
Sunday, February 11, 1979
I went to church. I came expecting to see the pictures right away, so I could go home. But the Elder said he wouldn’t show them to me until all the meetings were done.
The Elder could see the disappointment on my face, so he told me the pictures had turned out well and would be worth the wait. I thought to myself, “How hard can it be to sit through church just this one Sunday?”
It just so happened that Mom’s visiting teacher, Mina, was giving a talk about the atonement. It was as if her talk was written just for me. She talked about repentance and how we could be washed clean again. She also explained why we took the sacrament.
I was excited to think I could repent of anything I had ever done, and start anew. I was so grateful to Jesus for providing me with the atonement. This meant that the Lord loved me, even though I had not been active in His church after my baptism.
I could hardly sleep for the next few nights. I was excited to think that I was not a lost cause after all! It was so overwhelming to think about the love the Lord had for all his children.
Sunday, February 18, 1979
I was scared to talk to the Bishop. But after hearing Mina’s last week, I had learned it was part of the repentance process, and I had to get it over with.
Before church started, I asked the Bishop for an appointment. I was hoping he would say he could talk to me a few months down the road, but instead, he smiled and said, “Sure, just come see me in my office right after church.”
Right after church! I wasn’t prepared for it to be so soon. It was hard for me to sit through church. I had never talked to a Bishop before. What would I say to him? What was he going to say back to me? Would he judge me and tell me what a terrible person I was? I was so scared! I thought about telling him we could talk some other time, but I also wanted to start going to church with a clear conscience. I had to get it over with!
The Bishop made it easy for me to talk to him. He was very understanding. He told me of some of the things he had done before he became a member. It blew me away. I thought, not him, he was perfect. He made me feel so much better about myself. He helped me understand that there was hope if I kept trying my best.
I made friends with the few girls who were in the branch. Dina was one of these girls. After I had gone to church a couple of times. Dina told me all about the different members and the rumors that ran rampant in the branch.
Then she told me the rumors about me were that I was just there because of the missionaries. When Dorthe told me this, we both laughed. But inside, I was hurt because I thought these people didn’t know me or what was in my heart.
Monday, February 19, 1979
The rumor got even worse. I put some cream on my face. It turned out I was allergic to it, so my face swelled up and felt as if it had been burned. I could hardly see out of my eyes. I asked Mom to call the missionaries to come and give me a blessing.
Even though it was late in the evening, the missionaries came right over on their bikes. I was embarrassed for them to see me looking like this, but I believed the blessing would help. After they had given me the blessing, they went home.
Tuesday, February 20, 1979
The Elders came by early this morning to see how I was doing. I was doing a little better. I thanked them for stopping by.
Sunday, February 25, 1979
When I got to church today, I was in for a shock. The Bishop handed me a pamphlet that read, Why stay morally clean? I asked him why he had given me this pamphlet.
He told me one of the members had seen the Elders’ bikes outside Mom’s place late at night, and when she looked again, they were still there in the morning.
They had assumed the missionaries had spent the night. I explained to him what had really happened. I thought the Bishop believed me.
Sunday, March 4, 1979
When I got to church, both missionaries had been given emergency transfers, and we had two new Elders.
I was angry about what had happened. I never wanted to set foot in church again!
Then I thought, I shouldn’t care what the members think about me. Even though it’s going to be hard to come to church, I decided I was not going for them, but for myself.
Tuesday, March 13, 1979
The missionaries came over and asked me to join them later today to teach a woman who worked in the same building as I did. I had seen her at work, but other than that, I didn’t know her.
I told them I didn’t want to go with them. But the Elders came to pick me up anyway. That evening, they gave the first discussion about Joseph Smith. I was excited to finally learn who he was, how he got the Book of Mormon, and how he died. At the end of the discussion, the lady said she didn’t want any more lessons about our church.
As we left her house, the missionaries felt rejected. They thought that their evening had been a waste of time. I didn’t know how to tell them how excited I was about the lesson they had just taught. After all, I was a fifth-generation Mormon, baptized at eight. How could I not know who Joseph Smith was?
When I went to bed, I thought about the lesson. I wanted to go on a mission so that I could tell the whole world who Joseph Smith was and about the Book of Mormon. Girls can’t serve a mission until they are 21, so a mission would have to wait.
Wednesday, March 14, 1979
No one in town wanted to hear about the Church, so the missionaries came to our home almost daily because there was nothing for them to do here in Skive.
I thought the missionaries had no luck because no one knew them. I wanted to convert every person I knew! I was so convinced that once they heard the message, they would feel the fire just as I did. They would believe and would want to change. The missionary told me I was welcome to help with their work. I soon learned that converting someone was a lot easier said than done.
Saturday, April 7, 1979
I have a coworker named Vibike. She has asked me so many questions about the church. I invited her to my place so the Elders could teach her. Vibike is accepting the message. At first, her parents didn’t mind. The Elders and I were even invited to come to their place.
A few weeks later, her parents realized Vibike was getting serious about the church, so they forbade Vibike from having anything to do with the missionaries and me. It is so frustrating how the people here view the church.
Sunday, May 6, 1979
Elder *McKay asked me if I pay a full tithing. I sort of remember hearing about it when I was little and went to Primary, but I wasn’t sure what it was all about.
Elder McKay explained it to me. I told him he must be kidding and that I didn’t want to make that kind of commitment. Especially since I already had to give my mom a large portion of my paycheck, and the government also takes its share, there wouldn’t be anything left over for me!
The missionary showed me some verses in the scriptures about tithing. He asked me to have faith, and then he made me promise to give it a try. Even though it was hard for me, I ended up agreeing to pay a full tithe.
Saturday, May 12, 1979
The Elders asked me to bring my friends to church. I have tried, but no one wants to go. If anything, they seem to think I am crazy for going to church every Sunday. Then the Elders asked me to help them put on a dance at our church and invite all my non-member friends.
It took a lot of work to get everything just right for the dance. I was so nervous about how it would turn out and wondered if any of my friends would even show up. I was surprised to see that almost all of them came!
Since the Elders can’t dance, they stayed on the side and made sure there was food and drinks on the table. We ended up having a lot of fun. I think it was good for my friends to see that you can still have a good time without alcohol. Those who wanted to smoke were asked to do so outside. They seemed okay with it.
Saturday, June 16, 1979
The Elders liked how the dance had turned out, so they asked me to invite everyone to a sports day. Again, I was nervous about whether anyone would show up. This time, even more of my friends came.
The Elders were in their regular clothes, so they could play too. We all had a lot of fun. My friends don’t mind coming to the fun stuff, but none of them want to hear anything about the gospel. I think it’s going to be impossible to convert anyone.
Sunday, June 17, 1979
It turned out that I was grateful none of my friends had come with me to church today!
Grandma had lived through World War II. For Grandma, wasting food was unthinkable…
I was sitting in church next to Beth and my Grandma Helfred.
A missionary who was serving in our branch had been asked to give a talk on chastity. While the Elder stood at the pulpit, he got out an apple and started to peel it. He proceeded to cut it into pieces with a knife. Then he placed the apple slices on a plate and handed them to the congregation, asking them to touch them.
When all the members had a chance to put their hands all over the cut-up apple slices, the plate was handed back to the Elder.
The Elder then asked, “Is there anyone who would like to eat this apple?” Everyone in the congregation said, “No,” except Grandma.
Grandma went up to the pulpit, took a piece of apple off the plate, and proceeded to eat it. Grandma didn’t want to look selfish, so she held up the plate and asked if anyone else would like a piece.
Everyone looked mortified at Grandma, reassuring her that they did NOT want any of the apple. Grandma then said, “No sense in letting a perfectly good apple go to waste.” She went back to her seat with the plate of apple slices.
She sat down and began munching on the apple. Grandma turned to me and tried to hand me a piece of apple. I begged Grandma to leave the apple alone and return the plate to the speaker.
Grandma ignored my plea and turned to Beth, saying, “It’s a really good apple. Would you like a piece?” Beth (being young and innocent) looked at the apple and grabbed a piece. Then Beth and Grandma sat together, crunching on the apple slices, as they looked up at the speaker, waiting for him to continue his talk.
The Elder stood there in disbelief. Then he said, “Well, I was going to make a point about chastity and how…ah….well….ah… I don’t know what to say, because I didn’t expect anyone to actually eat the apple.” It looked like the Elder was at a loss for words, and since he didn’t know how to continue his talk, he sat down.
I wanted to die! I couldn’t believe what had taken place. I was embarrassed and extremely upset with Grandma!
My grandmother has since passed away. I still remember how mortified I was that day. Now I can look back and laugh. I believe that Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, and I am sure he had a good laugh that day.
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