Saturday, April 23, 1983
When we got to Hawaii, Dave’s Dad and stepmother, Susan, came to pick us up at the airport. When they saw me, they gave me a beautiful lei with pink and white flowers as they welcomed me to Hawaii.
They drove us to their house. They own a big, beautiful house with a pool in the backyard facing the ocean. Everything was picture-perfect and very impressive!
After we had dropped off our luggage, we went to a birthday party for Dave’s grandmother. There, I met many of Dave’s relatives. Most of the people were Hawaiian, and I must admit, I felt a little out of place. All his relatives were kind to me.
As we drove away from the party, Dave said to me, “I always wanted to marry a Hawaiian. I never thought I would be marrying a white girl.” It was as if he had been thinking out loud. I didn’t quite know how to react, so I responded by saying, “I always thought I would marry a white boy. I never imagined it would be a Hawaiian.” It kind of made me mad, but I never let it show. It made me feel like being white was a bad thing. I never thought that race would be an issue with us.
Hawaii is truly beautiful! However, I don’t know if this is where I belong, especially after Dave’s remark.
Sunday, April 24, 1983
When we got to church, Dave introduced me to some of his friends. I was disappointed to learn that none of them knew he was engaged. They all seemed surprised to see me.
Monday, April 25, 1983
Dave drove me around to show me a little of Hawaii. There were trees I had never seen before, including coconut and banana. When we got back to the house, we sat on the back patio, and we snuggled together under a blanket. We looked at the ocean while we talked about our future together. The view was beautiful. Today was so different from yesterday. I enjoyed our time together. I wish love wasn’t so complicated.
Tuesday, April 26, 1983
Today we got up early because Dave had a full day planned for us, including going snorkeling. I had never gone snorkeling before and didn’t even know what it was. Dave told me all about it. It sounded fun, and I was excited about it!
Then a girl Dave knows from school called to ask Dave to come over. Dave asked if it was all right if we went to see her before we did everything he had planned for us. I thought it was kind of strange, but I agreed to it because I didn’t think we were going to stay for very long.
When we got to her apartment, three girls Dave knew from school were standing outside. Dave parked the car and got out to talk to them. I stayed in the car because, a while back, Dave told me I was never to get out until he opened the door for me. I told him I felt silly about it because I was not used to this custom. But Dave had assured me I was his princess, and he wanted to do this for me.
I felt like an idiot as I sat there in the car waiting for him to come and open the door for me. Dave started walking off with the girls, obviously forgetting about me.
Then one of the girls turned around and yelled to me, “Aren’t you coming?!” I felt stupid as I got out of the car and tagged along behind them.
When we got into the apartment, Dave sat down and talked to the girl who had initially called him. The other girls left. I wanted to go with them, but I was stuck there.
Dave sat and talked to this girl for hours. I felt like a third wheel and was bored out of my mind! I could not believe what was happening, nor could I understand why Dave was doing this to me.
When we finally left her place, it was too late to go to any of the places that Dave had promised me. By now, we were both hungry, so we went to a fast-food place to eat dinner.
While we were eating, Dave asked if I was upset with him. I asked him why, just to see what he would say. But all he said was, “Oh, just wondering.” Then we both acted as if nothing had happened. I was disappointed in him. I wondered why it had to be like this. I thought I should say something about it, but what good would it do? If he truly cared about me, this would never have happened in the first place.
Wednesday, April 27, 1983
Dave got up and went to school this morning. His parents are gone on a business trip, so I have the whole house to myself. Dave wants me to become a better speller, so he gave me a list of words to learn. I spent the day studying them. When he gets home, he is going to go over the words with me.
Later in the day, I went and laid out in the sun by the pool. I could get used to living here, but again I felt like I didn’t belong. I am tired of feeling so bad about myself.
Thursday, April 28, 1983
This morning, Dave took me to see the Polynesian Cultural Center. It is an amazing place with plenty to see. In the evening, we had dinner there. Dave and I had a wonderful day together.
Friday, April 29, 1983
This morning, after Dave had left for school, I found a letter he had written me. It was a poem about how much he loved me.
When he got home from school, he gave me a card with a picture of a dog and a cat on the outside, and on the inside it said, “Ours is a strange and wonderful relationship.” In it, he wrote that he loved me and thanked me for putting up with him. After a nice day like yesterday, and then getting this letter with a card, makes me confused. I guess he does love me after all, and I just have to be patient with him.
Saturday, April 30, 1983
Dave said he thinks we should get married on December 6, 1983.
We spent the day at the beach. The sand is so soft, and all the flowers smell so beautiful. Hawaii is truly a magical place.
Sunday, May 1, 1983
It was Fast and Testimony meeting today. Dave got up and bore his testimony. In his testimony, he talked about how much his friends meant to him. About how he liked going to school, and about how much he loved his family.
He didn’t say one word about me, his future, or being engaged. When he sat down beside me, he said, “Oh, sorry. I forgot to say something about you.” I told him it was all right. But I was hurt. I wondered if I was that easy to forget; how could I mean anything to him at all?
After the meeting, his Bishop came over to ask who I was. When he found out I was Dave’s fiancée, he said we could rent his basement in July for as long as we wanted.
Dave told him that we weren’t getting married until December. The Bishop asked, “Why wait until then? You will not be done with school by then either.” Then the Bishop added that he would rent us the basement at a low price. He also said that he would help me get a job. Dave didn’t want to talk about it. I was uncomfortable, and I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood there.
When we got home, Dave and I didn’t talk much. It’s as if we were strangers. I feel like he is playing games with me, and that he is still not sure of what he wants.
Monday, May 2, 1983
I went to school with Dave today. He told me that he and his friends had made a short film for one of his classes. I asked him if I could see it. He didn’t seem too excited about showing it to me. But then he brought me to a room where I could see the film.
The film didn’t have a story. Except, all the way through the film, Dave was holding a pretty girl’s hand. At the end of the film, they sat beside each other along with some of their friends. It ended with them all being trapped together. Dave asked me what I thought about the film. All I could answer was that I thought it was interesting.
Tonight, Susan bought a lot of different Hawaiian dishes for dinner because she wanted me to try them. Oh, it was awful! There was even some cut-up Octopus. I don’t think I could ever get used to this kind of food. But I didn’t complain. I tasted it all and pretended it was good because I didn’t want to offend them.
Tuesday, May 3, 1983
While Dave went to school today, I stayed in the car and mended some clothes that Susan had asked me to sew for her.
When Dave was done with school, we went and saw where they grew “Dole” pineapples. Dave also took me to see fields of sugarcane.
Wednesday, May 4, 1983
While Dave was at school, I did some more mending for his parents. When Susan came home from work, she seemed very impressed with the work I had done. She asked where I had learned to sew like that. I told her it came naturally to me. She also seemed impressed that I had gone the extra mile and ironed it all. She wanted to pay me for it. I didn’t want money; I was happy I was able to do it for her.
Thursday, May 5, 1983
Dave took me to the beach where they had a show called “Kodak.” It was a variety of Hawaiian dances.
After the show, they invited the audience to come down and try to swing their hips like them. I wasn’t about to join in.
Then a man from the show came up, kissed me, and placed a yellow lei on my head and another around my neck. I could tell it bothered Dave. But he never said anything. I thought it was funny and I was flattered.
Friday, May 6, 1983
I packed some of my things since I am leaving tomorrow. In the evening, Dave took me to a school dance. I could tell by the way his friends were talking that Dave had been to school dances with them before.
I was hurt, but again, I never said anything. I told Dave that he was welcome to dance with other girls besides me. I didn’t want him to feel tied up. Besides, there were some of Dave’s friends who wanted to dance with me, and I didn’t mind.
Dave could tell what was going on, and he seemed a little annoyed. He said, “No! We will just dance with each other!” Despite everything, Dave and I ended up having a nice time together and danced almost every dance.
Saturday, May 7, 1983
Susan gave me a beautiful Hawaiian shirt before I left. She told me it was because she was grateful for all the mending I had done for her.
The price tag was still on the shirt. I have never had a shirt that expensive before!
His parents also gave me a lei. It was made out of bright red roses. Then they sang a Hawaiian song for me. I think they like me. It’s been nice visiting with them.
Dave drove me to the airport. After we checked in my suitcase, we still had some time together. Even though it was dark, we went to the beach and laid on a blanket on the soft sand.
While we were together, Dave asked me some personal questions about my past. I don’t like talking about it, because I know it is hard to understand. But I answered his questions truthfully. Dave was confused about my life and had so many questions that I almost missed the plane.
It was hard for us to part. Then Dave said the quote that he has said to me so many times before, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I responded with the quote that I have said so many times before, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Dave smiled, then told me he would see me again in July, during his school break. He added, “Before we know it, summer will be here.”
I hated to board the plane alone. As I flew to Utah, I was scared to see Mom again. I hoped that she wouldn’t be too upset with me for going to Hawaii.
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