Sunday, July 10, 1983
Richard took me to Temple Square, where he proposed to me in front of the Christ statue and, of course, my answer was yes. After I had said, yes, Richard tried to talk me out of it. He said, “You don’t want to marry me! I can be an awful person!” I answered, “I’m sure I can put up with you and that it will be fine!” Then he said, “But I have a big nose!” I looked at it and then laughed as I reassured him it would be fine. We set the day for October 14, 1983. Then Richard pulled out two tickets to Lagoon. He told me that tomorrow we can go pick out my wedding ring and afterward we will go to Lagoon because it’s Stake Lagoon Day.
The next day Richard took me to a jewelry store where he let me pick out whatever ring I liked. I got a pretty diamond just like I always wanted! After he had bought the ring, we were off to Lagoon. I finally got to see it for the first time. I smiled to myself because I had told my cousins a few years ago that one day I would see Lagoon and it would be a very special day, and it was!
Saturday August 6th, 1983
The Single Adults were having a swimming party by the lake. Richard and I went to it. I was on my period and having terrible cramps, and I knew from past experience that if I went into the cold water, it would get worse.
There were 3 other single girls already there. Richard went in the water with them. I felt bad sitting there by myself watching them have fun in the water. I didn’t know if it was okay that I was feeling this way. Just then a guy from the ward named Marlin showed up. He asked me why I was sitting there by myself, and why I wasn’t in the water with those other girls. I didn’t want to tell him that I was on my period, so I just smiled embarrassed and shrugged my shoulders. Then Marlin asked me, “Isn’t that Richard out there in the water with those girls? Man, if I was engaged to be married to you, there is no way I would leave you sitting here by yourself and run off with those girls!” Marlin was a returned missionary and seemed so nice and was good looking too. I wanted to tell him I’ll call off the engagement and we can run off together. Once again, I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled at him. Then Marlin said, “It’s not right that you are sitting here by yourself, let’s see if we can get his attention! Maybe we can make him jealous!” Marlin scooted close to me. As we sat and talked, Richard was having too much fun with the girls, so he didn’t even notice us. Then Marlin said, “This is incredible! He’s so busy with those girls to even notice us, this just isn’t right!” Then Marlin scooted even closer and called out, “Hay Richard! I’m stealing your fiancé. You don’t’ even notice since you are paying so much attention to those other girls when you should be with her!” As he pointed to me. I was so glad Marlin did this! Marlin was the kind man I had hoped to one day marry, but because of the abusive way I had grown up, I thought Marlin was too good for me.
When Richard noticed this, he came running out of the water towards us. I was hurt that it took Marlin to get him to come out of the water and stop flirting with the girls. I thought to myself that Richard did this because he was extremely stupid, so I never mentioned it again.
October 1983
A couple of weeks before the wedding Richard’s mom offered to have a Bridal shower for me. I have a lot of family here in Utah, so mom invited all of them. We also invited friends I have come to know, and people form mom’s ward.
Richards’ mom asked for a list of who all was coming to my shower along with their phone numbers.
I was so excited to see who had all come to my shower. Richard’s mom had called everyone on the list and asked them to bring a few dozen cookies. As all the guest arrived, she got the cookies and put them in her freezer and only left a few cookies out on the table. When the shower was over some of my relatives asked where why their cookies had not been out on the table. Richard’s mom explained to them that she had stuck them in the freezer for another time. It was extremely awkward! I was embarrassed but didn’t know what to say.
As our wedding day grew closer, Mom became ruder and ruder towards Richard. He took it very well and, to my relief, he still wanted to marry me. When Mom realized that Richard and I were getting married, she told me to cancel the wedding. She said she wanted me to wait to get married so that she could give me a great big wedding. I told Mom that I didn’t want a great big elaborate wedding and that I was grateful for all the help that I was receiving from family and the members of our ward. Mom got upset. She told me that I would get divorced because all men were evil, and I needed to learn from her mistakes and never get married. I responded that I was blessed to find a return missionary just like I always wanted. If it ended in divorce, then at least I had tried it for myself. Mom told me that I needed to mind her because it was a very selfish thing I was doing, and I was being disloyal towards her and Elisabeth. She needed me here to help out and it wasn’t right for me to break up our family. I told Mom that it was normal for a person my age to get married. Then Mom locked herself in the bathroom. I asked her to come out so that we could talk about it. But she was hysterical and wouldn’t hear of it. I tried to talk to Mom through the door. I could tell that I was not getting anywhere with her so it ended with me saying that I was sorry if she couldn’t understand or support me, but this was normal for a person my age to do, and I was going through with it.
People in the ward have been so kind towards me. Since they know that I don’t have any money someone in the ward lent me some wedding decorations from when they had a wedding for their daughter.
October 7, 1983
I went to the Temple today with Richard’s parents and my mom to get my endowments, so that I can come back next week to get married in the Temple. You are not to talk about what goes on in the temple, so I didn’t know what to expect.
It was all so strange to me. I didn’t understand a thing that was happening. I looked around to see if anyone else thought this was odd too. I was expecting someone to say, just kidding. But everyone seemed to take it all so seriously and it was probably because I was dumb that I didn’t understand what was going on. I had so many questions. I kept them to myself and figured that someday I would understand what was going on and it would all make sense to me.
October 13, 1983
Richard came over in the evening as planned since we were going over to the hall to decorate it. When he showed up, he told me that he had made plans to hang out with some of his friends from the singles ward. I told him, we were getting married tomorrow, and I didn’t want to decorate the hall by myself. Then he responded that he didn’t care if the hall was decorated. I told him that I did. He said, “Then you go decorate it yourself!” I told him that I was scared to go by myself. He told me it wasn’t his problem and left. I had never seen this side of Richard before. I wanted to call off the wedding. I would have called it off if Mom had been a nice person. I figured that surely, he would be better to live with than her. Besides I didn’t want Mom to rub it in my face that all men were evil. I convinced myself it would be fine and decided to go ahead with the wedding.
I knew Mom wouldn’t go over to the hall and decorate it with me, and since I was scared to go by myself, I had Elisabeth come with me. I wiped away my tears and together we decorated the hall for tomorrow evening.
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