Sunday, September 2, 1984
After church, Richard and I dropped by his parents’ unannounced. His mom had set the table. Richard grabbed a cracker from one of the plates. His mom slapped his hands and said it was for the guests who were arriving soon. As we were about to walk out the door, I asked who was coming over. His mom said it was her other two sons and their girlfriends. I could tell Richard was hurt that we hadn’t been invited.
I hope when Richard and I have children, it will bring us closer to his parents.
Richard has been looking into schools so he can become a nurse. Then he will make more money, and I will be able stay home when we have children.
Richard went to enroll at Bryman. Richard was having second thoughts about being a nurse since not much is known about AIDS.
After visiting the school and seeing what they have to offer, he decided he wants to be a secretary instead. He has to pay $500 to sign up.
Richard said that since we didn’t have the money, he’d ask his dad for it. After Richard had visited with his dad, he cried.
I had never seen him cry before. Richard said his dad had told him to let him know if we needed anything; he would be there for us. That’s why he went to see his dad in the first place. Richard was upset about all the mean things his dad had said to him.
Richard told me that he never wanted to see his parents again. It took him a long time to get over how his dad had treated him.
Richard ended up going to our Bishop to ask for the money. The Bishop lent him $500 out of his own pocket because Richard promised to repay it.
He never did pay it back. 14 years later, I looked up that Bishop and paid him with the money that I had earned from babysitting.
Now that Richard has started school, he works for half a day. Then he heads off to school. He seemed excited about his class. He would tell me all about being the only male in the class.
Richard bought cologne and put it on just before class. I asked him why this was necessary since he would never wear it when we were together. After I confronted him, he got mad and threw it away.
Soon after he had started school, he would constantly talk about Barba. Before I knew it, Barba was calling our home. He would sit for hours, talking to her. Richard claimed he was helping her with her homework. I asked him if there wasn’t someone else who could help her. He told me it was helping him learn, too.
October 14, 1984 –Our first anniversary
After church, I made a special dinner to celebrate our first anniversary. Richard went into our bedroom. I opened the door and told him dinner was ready. He said he didn’t have time to eat with me because he was working on an important assignment and couldn’t be interrupted.
Just then, Barba called and asked to talk to him. I let him know she was on the phone. I was sure he was going to tell her he couldn’t talk. But instead, he took the phone, grabbed his dinner, and went back into the bedroom. He couldn’t close the door because the cord was in the way.
I ate dinner alone in the kitchen, while listening to Richard laugh as he “helped” Barba with her homework.
Since Richard worked half a day and then was off to school, I needed a ride home from work. One of my coworkers lived close by, so she said she would drive me. I wanted to give her gas money, since she had to go out of her way to bring me home. When I asked Richard for it, he told me we didn’t have any to give her. I felt so bad and embarrassed, but there was nothing I could do to change his mind.
I saw a waitress job available at a nearby restaurant. I applied for the job so I could have my own money and not always feel so broke. Soon after I started working there, Richard told me that now that I wasn’t home in the evenings, Barba would come over so they could do their homework together.
Here I was working two jobs so money wouldn’t be so tight, and all he could think about was spending the evenings with Barba. Richard didn’t seem to understand why I thought this was wrong, so he insisted she come over. I wanted to make my marriage work, so I quit my job.
I wanted to see what Barba looked like. A friend of mine was curious too, so she offered to drive me to the school. When we got there, we waited for the class to take a break. Richard was surprised to see me. He wanted to know what I was doing there. I told him we just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought we would stop by and say hi.
All the girls stood still, staring at me. Since Richard didn’t introduce me, I introduced myself so everyone would know I was his wife. I asked, “So, who is Barba?” A chubby, manly-looking girl said, “I am.” I was blown away to see what she looked like. Not at all what I had expected. I tried to make small talk, but nobody seemed to know what to say. It got awkward, so I said, “Nice to meet you all.” As I was about to leave, one of the girls said they were happy to have Richard in their class because he was always so funny and knew how to make everyone laugh. I just smiled and then left.
As my friend and I drove away, my friend said, “I am surprised to see what Braba looks like. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” I told her that’s what I was thinking too. We both laughed.
Whenever Richard and I were with Mom and Beth, Mom was nice to us. Richard and Mom began talking about buying a house together.
It had been so nice to be away from Mom. I told him I didn’t want to do it. Beth was excited about the idea. I told Richard that my mom was only being nice because she wanted something. Richard was convinced that she had changed.
He told me that this was the only way we would ever be able to afford a house. He said he had already saved half the down payment. Mom said she had the other half that was needed. Richard convinced me that even if we had the full amount, we could never afford the mortgage. Mom said that we would split the mortgage and all the utilities. I reluctantly agreed.
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