House Chapter 54

Richard, Mom, Beth, and I went looking for a house together. I must admit it seemed exciting. Especially since Mom was acting so nice towards us.

We found a house in West Valley that we liked. It seemed perfect for Richard and me to live upstairs, and we could make the basement into a separate apartment for Mom and Beth.

December 1, 1984

Mom and Beth came with us to see the Christmas lights being turned on at Temple Square. It was so pretty! After the lights had been turned on, Richard turned to me and said, “You know we can afford to have you stay at home now. Let’s start our family.” I was so excited to hear that! We embraced each other. Everything seemed to be working out after all.

January 1985

Mom, Beth, Richard, and I went out to eat pizza. When we got home, I threw up. I was sure it was the pizza that was bad. Everyone else who had eaten it was fine. I thought maybe it was just my piece that was bad.

It turned out I was pregnant. I was excited to tell Mom and Beth the good news! Beth was excited. The first thing mom said was, “What are you thinking! I am too young to be a grandmother!” I reminded her that Sander had kids. She told me they didn’t count, then she added, “Great! Now it will be even harder for you to get divorced!” She paused, then she said, “Don’t you ever expect me to babysit that snot-nose brat!” I was so hurt by her remark. I assured her she would never have to babysit for me.

I was so sick. It seems to me that most women are only sick for the first 3 months. Not me, I was so sick all 9. When I was halfway through, I remember thinking it was a good thing I didn’t have a choice about whether to continue this pregnancy, because I would have called it quits!

March 1985

I told the doctor I wanted to quit my job since this pregnancy was so hard on me. The doctor assured me that I was fine and that I was not the first woman to ever have a baby.

Even though I was pregnant, my employer wouldn’t let me bring a water bottle to work. There wasn’t enough time to drink water during my breaks, and I wasn’t eating enough because I was so sick.

Even though it was so hard on me, I pushed myself to keep going to work every day.

April 1985

I went to my monthly doctor visit. This time, the doctor told me that I would lose the baby if I didn’t take better care of myself. I told my supervisor this, but there was no compassion. Rules were rules. One of my coworkers told me that ZCMI wanted me to quit because it would save the company money. Then they wouldn’t have to pay me maternity leave. Since the company was owned by the Church, I was surprised that there wasn’t more compassion for expectant mothers. To make matters worse, my supervisor had me stand up to mark prices on things and move heavy boxes, while the other ladies who weren’t pregnant could sit down and do the easy labor.

Monday, May 27, 1985

While I was working today, I got cramps again. I was so worried that the baby was trying to come. When I got him from work, I told Richard that I could time the cramps and I was sure the baby was coming. Richard took me to the hospital. At the hospital, they asked me why I was there. I told them I thought I was in labor and that the baby was trying to come. They asked me a few questions. The doctor told me that since this was my first baby, I didn’t know what labor felt like. Then they told me to go home and come back when the baby was actually due.

Just as I was about to leave, the nurse said, “Since we are not busy, we ought to hook her up to a machine so that she can see that she’s not in labor.” The doctor thought this was a great idea. To their surprise, they saw I was indeed in full labor.

The doctor ordered the nurse to give me some shots to make the baby stop coming since it was too soon for him or her to be born. Then they took some blood samples to see what was going on. It turns out my body needs more rest, and I need to drink much more water. The doctor gave me a note to let my manager at work know that I needed a leave of absence, or else I would lose the baby.

Tuesday, May 28, 1985

I was so glad I could finally stay home from work and get some much-needed rest. Thinking back, I am surprised that I lasted as long as I did at my work.

Since I was at home all day, Mom didn’t think we should take turns doing the dishes. Instead, she told me to do them all. She also wanted me to clean for her and do her and Beth’s laundry too. I was so sick that I could barely do my own. But mom had no compassion and told me not to use my pregnancy as an excuse to lie around all day.

We didn’t have a dishwasher, so the dishes had to be done by hand. When I would attempt to do the dishes, by the time the sink had filled up with water, I would be so sick that I had to go lie down again. When I felt I could get up again to finish the dishes, the water would be cold. And I would have to start over. It was a never-ending battle.

Richard never seemed to care about how much laundry or dishes we had as long as he didn’t have to do them. When mom came home from work, she would be upset to see that I had not cleaned for her, too.

Sunday, May 12, 1985

I had such a nice Mother’s Day. Richard gave both mom and I a beautiful Red Rose in a white vase.

July 1985

The baby was due at the beginning of next month. June and July were so hot, and we didn’t have an air conditioner. I was sick and miserable. It felt as if the baby would never get here.

One day, while resting on the couch, trying to endure the heat, I watched TV. On TV, they showed people exercising, which made me feel even more nauseous, so I turned the channel. The next channel was all about cooking. I thought I would throw up, so I turned the channel again. This channel was all about cleaning your house. I ended up turning the TV off and thinking August couldn’t get here soon enough. I was trying to be grateful that I didn’t have to work and that I could rest when I needed to. This thought helped me to endure the heat.

I heard a knock at the door. I was going to pretend no one was home. But whoever was at the door kept knocking, determined I would open it. I figured it must be important. It took everything I had to walk down the stairs to answer the door.

When I finally opened it, there was a lady from my ward. She said, “Oh, I knew you would be at home! You are my visiting teacher. So far, you haven’t made any attempts to come see me, and I would like you to start making your monthly visits!” My mouth dropped. I had forced myself off the couch and walked down all those stairs for this?!” After I had digested what she had just said, I tried to explain to her that I was having a hard pregnancy.

This was none of her concern, and she would appreciate it if I could start making my monthly visits. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and let her know that visiting her was the last thing on my to-do list. Instead, I apologized and promised I would start coming. Then I hurried and shut the door so that I could go lie back down.

After I got back on the couch, I thought for sure that I wasn’t going to live through the rest of my pregnancy.