Saturday, August 10, 1985
As far back as I can remember, I looked forward to being a mom. There are no words to describe how grateful I was to have such a perfect, beautiful baby!
Jared was such a good baby! He didn’t fuss, and I enjoyed every second with him!
Richard and I had told that they would have a bed where Richard could sleep while he was in the hospital with me. We asked the nurse to bring us the bed. We were told there were 9 ladies who also gave birth during the night. 2 of the 9 babies who were born had died during childbirth. I was saddened to hear this, but grateful that my baby was one of the babies who had made it.
Since an unusual number of babies had been born, the extra beds were reserved for the families whose babies had died. Richard slept in a recliner that was already in the room.
It was late in the evening, and Richard, Jared, and I had gone to sleep for the night. Just as we were falling asleep, the night nurse came in. She held a bottle in her hand and told me to feed it to Jared. I told her I was breastfeeding him and therefore I wouldn’t need it. The nurse insisted that it was best for the baby if I could get him to drink it.
As a first-time mom, I didn’t know any better, and I wanted the best for my baby, so I made sure he drank the whole bottle.
To my horror, Jared started to scream and pull up his legs. It was obvious that he was in pain. It was the formula that I been told to give him that had upset his stomach. I felt so awful for having him drink it. But there was nothing I could do to ease his pain. It was a long, terrible night!
Sunday, August 11, 1985
I wanted to go home. Richard said the insurance was covering one more night in the hospital, so we might as well take advantage of it. I wasn’t getting any rest because the nurses kept coming in to do this or that. I couldn’t wait to get home so I could get some rest.
Jared ended up crying the whole day since he was still in so much pain.
Mom came in the afternoon with her sister Jytte and their cousin Ketty to see the baby. It was a stressful visit because Jared screamed in pain the whole time, and there was nothing I could do to help him.
After they left, Jared seemed exhausted and finally fell asleep. I wanted to get some much-needed sleep too, but just then Richard’s mom and dad came to visit. After they left, Richard’s brother and his wife came to visit.
After everyone had finally left, I thought I could finally get some rest. But then Jared woke up. You could tell he was still in pain. I didn’t get much sleep this night either.
Monday, August 12, 1985
Jared finally seemed to be doing better. I couldn’t wait to take him home! Then the doctor came in and told us that they needed to circumcise him. The doctor explained the procedure to us. It sounded brutal! I didn’t know much about it and wanted to learn more before we moved forward.
Richard said that he had been circumcised, and he didn’t want his son to look different. Both Richard and the doctor assured me it was the best thing for the baby. The doctor took Jared to perform the procedure.
I felt terrible about it, but felt I had no other choice. I went and took a shower. In the shower, I cried hard. Even though Jared was down the hall in another room, I felt I could hear him crying for me to come save him.
When they returned with Jared, he was screaming in pain again. I felt like the worst mom in the world again, and again, there was nothing I could do to take away his pain.
At noon, we were finally able to leave the hospital. Richard had taken the day off from work so that he could be home with the new baby and me. I was grateful, but still wasn’t able to get any rest since I was so worried about how hard Jared was crying from his circumcision.
Tuesday, August 13, 1985
Richard had to go back to work today. In the evening, he also had to work at 7-11. Mom stayed home from work. She said it was so that she could help me with the baby.
When Jared fell asleep, I was exhausted and looked forward to finally getting some rest. It was impossible to fall asleep because Mom was so loud, bragging about how she was home to help me. I came out of the bedroom and asked her to keep it down, but it only irritated her, and she got even louder. Oh, how I wish she had gone to work like she was supposed to!
When mom finally got off the phone. I had heard her say over and over that she was home to help me. So I asked her if she wouldn’t mind cleaning out the bathtub so that I could soak the stitches that I had from Jared’s birth. Mom told me that if I needed anything done, I should do it myself, because she was NOT my maid!
Later, Mom called my cousin Colleen to say she was welcome to come over to see the baby. Colleen came with her 4 girls. I was glad to see them. However, it would have been better if they had come on a different day. One where I wasn’t so exhausted.
Today was hard on me, and the night didn’t get any better. Jared’s circumcision looks terrible! I stayed up with him most of the night because he was in severe pain.
Wednesday, August 14, 1985
In the morning, it was just Jared and me. I took the phone off the hook so that we could both get some rest. Jared didn’t calm down. His circumcision looked even worse! I was worried that if it didn’t get better, they would have to amputate.
I called the doctor to let him know. I was told to bring him in. I don’t have a driver’s license, so Richard had to take the rest of the day off from work so that we could take Jared in. The doctor gave me some cream and told me to put it on every few hours and keep the infected area as clean as possible. Hopefully, it would help his circumcision heal!
Thursday, August 15, 1985
You could tell Jared was still in pain. I slept when he slept. I finally felt well enough to get up and clean the house.
Saturday, August 17, 1985
Richard and I had planned to go to the store to exchange some baby gifts we had received. I was looking forward to getting out of the house.
I had not gone anywhere since the baby was born. Mom told me I was to leave Jared with her while we went to the store. I told her I couldn’t do that since I was breastfeeding him. Mom was ferocious! She started to yell at me and told me that I was an irresponsible mom for taking my newborn baby to the store.
Then she told me that she had invited friends and family over to see the baby. I told her she would have asked me first, then she would have known we had already made other plans.
Her friends, sister, and cousins arrived. Mom was upset that she couldn’t control me. Even though I was scared of her, we left with Jared.
Later that day, Richard had to work at 7-11. Beth is still in Canada, so it was just Mom and me at home. It was horrible because she was clearly still upset with me! I did what I could to stay in the bedroom with Jared so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her.
Sunday, August 18, 1985
Even though I wasn’t up to going to church today, I got the lesson ready for the CTR class that Richard and I had been asked to teach. Then I got Jared and me ready for church.
As mom, Richard, and I were about to leave, Jared peed in his diaper. I was worried about it, since he was wearing a cloth diaper. His circumcision still needed to heal, and it was important that he stayed clean and dry. Mom got upset with me and told me just to leave him in his wet diaper because we couldn’t be late for church.
I went ahead and changed Jared’s diaper. Mom started yelling at me, telling me it was good for the baby to cry. Since I refused to give in to her demand, she slammed the door and left for church.
When we arrived at church, Richard and I only stayed for the first meeting. We ended up having someone else teach our class because it was too hard to be at church with Jared crying so hard.
When Mom got home from church, she was upset that we had not stayed for all the meetings. She yelled at me, saying I never did anything around the house and that I used the baby as an excuse. In reality, it’s Mom who never does anything.
I take care of what I need to, and she expects me to do her cleaning, too. I went into our bedroom with the baby and cried. I really wish we had not bought this house together! It’s hard on me the way she treats me.
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