The Blanket Chapter 76

Tuesday, September 22, 1992

Last year, I had a lesson in Relief Society about not comparing yourself to others. The main point of the lesson was not to be so hard on yourself, because you always compare your worst to others’ best.

On the board, the teacher had posted many inspiring quotes. For example, “Be confident, too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are and aren’t that you can truly succeed.”

After the lesson, I thought, “Well, it’s a good thing that I am very well aware of my talents and my weaknesses, and this was definitely one of the things I did not need to worry about!” I didn’t want to give the lesson another thought, so I went on my way.

A few weeks after this lesson, I began tending for a lady named *Susie. Susie had a little 10-month-old girl named *Jasmine. I met with both of Jasmine’s parents, and they seemed like the perfect little family.

In the morning, when Susie would drop off Jasmine, I noticed Susie’s clothes were always so perfectly pressed. I wondered how she had time to iron her clothes so neatly while working full-time, since for me it was hard enough to be at home and make sure Richard had a freshly starched and ironed shirt each morning for work. 

Every morning when Jasmine came, she was dressed and ready for the day, and everything in her diaper bag was carefully packed. I noticed, in particular, that Jasmine’s blanket was always folded so neatly.

I couldn’t believe her mom would even take time out of her morning to do that. In the evening, when it was time for Jasmine to get picked up, I would make sure to put her blanket back and try to fold it just as neatly as I had found it in the morning.

Each evening before Jasmine went home, I would fold the blanket, hoping to do it just as neatly as I had seen it in the morning. But to my disappointment, I could never seem to accomplish it. I would tell myself I would try again tomorrow.

Susie was perfect in every way! I wondered if I could ever live up to her. Then I started noticing the blanket wasn’t folded Monday mornings. I reasoned with myself that it was probably because Susie didn’t want to take time out on Mondays to fold it.

A couple of months later, Susie invited my family and I over to their house to celebrate Jasmine’s first birthday. When we got there, the whole house was immaculate! I looked at the baseboards and thought there wasn’t even a speck of dust on them!

I wondered how Susie was able to do it all! I thought, “Here I am, getting up at 5 in the morning, trying hard to get everything done before the daycare kids get to my house, yet I still can’t get it all done!”

After visiting their house, I was really down on myself. To make matters worse, each evening when it was time for Jasmine to go home, I still kept trying to fold her blanket just as perfectly as I had found it in the morning. This went on the whole time that I watched Jasmine.

I have watched Jasmine for a little over a year now. Susie was expecting another child and asked me to watch that one, too. I had agreed to it, but now things were different.

I dreaded telling Susie I couldn’t tender for her anymore since the doctor had told me to take it easy, due to the last two miscarriages that I had been through.

When I gave Susie the news, she took it hard! She started to cry. Since it had already been difficult for me to tell her, I felt even worse when I saw how she reacted. Then Susie said, “I don’t think I can find another babysitter to take care of Jasmine just as well as you have.

Susie said, “Since I am expecting again, I guess it’s time for me to quit my job and stay home! Except that is not what I had planned on doing!” Since Susie was still crying, I wanted to say something to help her feel better, so I said, “Well, just think now when you are home, it won’t be so stressful always to make sure to have your clothes so neatly pressed.

Susie looked at me and said, “I don’t have time for that. I just drop them off at the dry cleaners on Fridays after work and then pick them up again on my way to work Monday morning.” I thought, well, that would explain why her clothes always looked so good.

Then I said, “Well, now you can have time to clean your house, and you won’t have to stress over always having it caught up and having time for it all. Susie looked puzzled and responded, “What do you mean? I have a woman who comes to my house once a week and deep-cleans it. With working full-time, I don’t have time for that!” Again, I thought, “That would explain why her house was so clean.”

Then I said, “Well, now you don’t have to worry about folding Jasmine’s blanket each morning before putting it in the diaper bag.” Once again, I got that puzzled look. Except this time, Susie said, “What are you talking about? “I never take the blanket out at night, nor do I have time to fold it in the morning.”

I was confused, so I asked, “Isn’t it Jasmine’s favorite blanket? Isn’t this the blanket she can’t go to sleep without?” Susie answered, “Yes.” So I asked, “What do you do at nighttime then?” Susie responded, “Yes, it’s her favorite blanket. But she has two of them. One I keep at home and the other I only take out of the diaper bag Friday evenings to wash it, and then I throw it back in Monday mornings.”

I was still confused and asked, “You never fold that blanket?” Susie answered with a very firm, “No, I don’t have time for that!”

In that moment, I realized that would explain why it was never folded Monday mornings! It was me the whole time folding that blanket! I had been competing against myself, trying to fold it just as perfectly as I had found it in the morning.

When I had processed that I was the one who had folded the blanket this whole time, I started to laugh. Susie didn’t understand what was so funny, so I tried to explain it to her. I could tell she had no idea what I was talking about.

Then Susie said she thought I was flawless. She admired me for everything I did and for always keeping my house so clean, and wondered how I managed it all.

Here I was, after all this time, being so hard on myself, wondering how Susie could be so perfect and have time for everything, when there was so much more to it. 

The whole ordeal brought me back to the Relief Society lesson. I realized if anyone needed to heed that lesson about not comparing ourselves to others, it was me!

I will miss the kids that I am tending. But it will be nice to have my home back. I will no longer feel like my toilet is a public restroom, and have to clean it every evening after everyone has gone home. Best of all, I can rest during the day without having to be there for anyone else, except my own family.