Thursday, December 1, 1994
Today is Johny’s due date.
Last night I dreamt my grandmother came to me. She told me that she had special permission to come see me.
She said, “Today, when you go to your doctor’s appointment, the doctor is going to tell you that everything looks good. He will reschedule you to come in on Tuesday. If you wait until Tuesday, the baby won’t make it. You must tell the doctor that Tuesday will be too late! This will be his last chance to come join your family.”
Then my Grandmother let me know that she wouldn’t be allowed to appear to me again. She reassured me that she wasn’t too far away.
I woke up, wondering what that was all about. Then I got ready and went to my doctor’s appointment. Sure enough, after the doctor did an ultrasound, he said everything looked good. Then he rescheduled me to come in on Tuesday so that he could deliver the baby.
I asked the doctor why he couldn’t make the appointment for tomorrow. The doctor said that if the labor starts tomorrow, I could come in. If I had not gone into labor by Tuesday, then I was to come in, and he would get me started so that he could deliver the baby.
I tried to convince the doctor that Johny needed to come tomorrow. The doctor said, “I understand that it’s hard to wait until next week.” Everything looks fine, and you will be okay!” I wanted to tell the doctor about my dream, but I was afraid he would not believe me, so I didn’t say anything.
When Richard got home from work, he asked me how my doctor’s appointment went. So I told him. Then Richard asked me why I had not told the doctor about my dream. I asked Richard, “What was I to say? How do you tell the doctor, my dead grandmother will be coming to get my baby if he doesn’t get delivered before Tuesday?” Richard could see my point. Then he said, “Let’s hope it was just a dream and nothing will come of it.”
Sunday, December 4, 1994
The whole weekend, I kept hoping that I would go into labor. This evening, after I put Jared and Sarah to bed, I felt my grandmother close to me. I sat down on the couch and cried.
Richard came into the living room. He asked why I was sitting in the dark, crying. I told him that my grandmother was here to get the baby. I could feel her presence all around me. Richard said, “We are going to the hospital!” I told him no because they would just send me home since I was not in labor. Richard said, “Get ready, we are going!”
Richard then called my sister and asked her to come and watch our kids since he needed to take me to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital, the lady at the front desk asked me if I was in labor. I told her no. Then she asked me why I was there. I didn’t know what to say. Richard asked the receptionist if they could do an ultrasound. The receptionist said, “We can’t do that! Come back when you are in labor.” Just then, a nurse came in!
She, too, wanted to know if I was in labor. The receptionist told her I was going home and that I would come back when I was in labor. The nurse said, “We have no one here, let’s just hook you up and see what’s going on.” The receptionist still wanted to send me home. The nurse said, “It’s okay, it will give me something to do. Just check her in.”
After I was checked in, the nurse did an ultrasound. The nurse told me that everything looked fine. Then she said, “Don’t go just yet. I am going to keep you hooked up for a while.” Then she smiled and added, “It will give me something to do.”
Johny’s heartbeat started to drop. The nurse called the doctor who was on call for the night to tell him what was happening. The doctor said, “Just send her home and have her come back when her doctor is on call.” The nurse tried to convince him to come in. The Doctor insisted that even though the baby’s heartbeat had drooped it wasn’t enough to be concerned over. The baby would be fine if I came back later.”
Despite the orders the nurse had been given to send me home, she kept me hooked up. Slowly during the night, the baby’s heartbeat kept dropping. Then the nurse called my doctor.
My doctor told her to call the doctor who was on call. She told him she had, but he didn’t want to come in and didn’t seem worried about the baby. My doctor said he just needed to get dressed, and he would be in. While we waited for the doctor to arrive, the nurse gave me something to help the labor begin.
By now, the baby’s heartbeat was dropping fast. By the time the doctor arrived, they had set the room up for a cesarean because the baby needed to come right away.
When the doctor came running into the room, he told me to try to push one more time, because the baby needed to come now, and he was worried a cesarean would take too long.
Mom had insisted that Beth go with her to the hospital. Just then, Mom, Beth, Jared, Sarah, and Laila came into the room. Mom was about to go hysterical. Beth told her to be quiet, and if she couldn’t control herself, she would need to go into the other room. To my surprise, Mom kept quiet.
I pushed with everything I had. I pushed so hard that my whole face and neck had broken blood vessels.
When the baby came out, I couldn’t hear him cry. I thought he was dead. I felt so awful for not heeding my grandmother’s warning. I wondered how I would ever recover from it. I cried bitter tears.
All of a sudden, I heard a faint cry. I was so relieved! When I saw the baby, he looked dark purple. I still wasn’t sure if he was going to make it. The doctor assured me that he was going to be fine.
I realised Laila had been quiet throughout the whole birth, just watching. I wondered if she had felt something.
Later in the day, the nurse who had been there for me said, “That was a close call! How did you know to come in?” I smiled and asked, “How did you know to keep me here?” She answered, “I guess the same reason you came in. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling.” We looked at each other and smiled. I wanted to tell her about my dream, but no more words were needed.
Johny was born at around 5:00 am. Monday, December 5, 1994
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